People are funny. They have a view of the world. Even though it is their view, many believe it is everyone’s view, or that it should be everyone’s view. Here is a simple exercise in someone’s view. Look at this photo:
Now what is the relation they have?
Well, some would tell you that they are all round, or they are all coins or they are all metal. These are generally people who sort by “sameness” or how things are alike.
Some would say that they are all coins – but different values, or they are all silver but one is copper, or they are all tails but one is heads. These people generally are sameness with exception. They look to see how things are the same while still pointing out how they are not.
Some would say that they are all different – but they are all coins. I’m sure by now you can see where this is going. These folks like to see how things are not alike and then see how they may have something in common.
And then, there are those who look at these and say they are all different. A quarter is not a dime, nor is it a nickel or a penny. These folks love to focus on how things are not alike.
Now that you know this, realize that you can use this. If someone mentions how something is like some other things with one small exception, then it would be wise in another situation to relate how somethings are similar with a small difference. Likewise, if you have a mismatcher that only sees how things are different, it is wise to relate that way with them.
Just like any foreign language, learn to speak their way and you will gain much greater rapport. This can be especially helpful when communicating with people that you love where you find a lack of clear communication or frequent misunderstandings.