The Art of Deep Listening!

Real Estate Agent with Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 SA5376460000

Attending a Green Chamber event recently and my eyes wandered around the room while the speaker was presenting.  Just looking at each face I could tell who was listening and which attendee was pre-occupied.  There's an art to listening!


In every day conversations, it's obvious who is listening and who is just responding to be heard or to get THEIR point across.   Those that respond before someone is finished speaking, aren't listening with intention.  To listen well is a mindful exercise that helps to control  and eliminate emotion-filled responses.  


Imagine that you're in a conversation with a boisterious person who has a one-sided opinion on a hot topic.  That person will likely not respond to you of a different opinion because they are so focused on their own opinion and may not be capable of deep listening.  So for you to practice deep listening and respond with your own well thought out response to a person that is biased on a topic can be challening to say the least. 


But that's exactly the point. 


If you are to excel at deep listening, you must be able to respond to ANY person with the same intent to be successful.   Your intent should be to listen first and don't form an answer before they are finished speaking.


According to this article on, "we must first learn to listen to ourselves."  Consider that if we aren't good listeners, mindful listeners, then how can we be considerate of others?  


The article also mentions improving the "quality" of listening, something I've never heard before.   Interesting read that will make me practice better listening and not being in a "debate" or "regurgitating" information.  Hmmmm.....


It's important to consider that we must be open to listening, with no agenda, lest we be considered selfish.    A good trait to possess in any type of position!


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Comments (6)

Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Jan:

This is such a thoughtful post about an important, and essential, skill in our business. It's often pretty easy to tell when someone is not really their body language or their response...something we need to keep in mind always  when we are supposed to be listnening. And when we ask a question, do we really listen to the response?


Sep 01, 2021 08:20 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Jan - careful listening is important to better understanding.   So is improved reading habits so I have bookmarked your post so I can learn more because those kinds of lessons never need to end.  

Sep 03, 2021 07:10 AM
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Thank you for commenting Michael Jacobs !  So many times others don't listen and interrupt.  Being patient with them is challenging for sure, making it even more difficult.   I know you get this and you are most likely very good at listening.  Have a wonderful Labor Day! 

Sep 06, 2021 08:07 AM
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

So true Jeff Dowler, CRS ! Remembering what it feels like when we know someone is not listening will help us to be better listeners.  Have a great day!

Sep 07, 2021 12:21 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Jan Green - Bravo! This is a topic of significant importance. Thank you for your well written blog post that is essential to building relationships and having a successful business. 

Sep 12, 2021 09:04 AM
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Thank you Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP !  I read an article that prompted this topic.  I hope it was helpful.  Hope to see you on Tuesday!

Sep 12, 2021 01:52 PM