We take for granted when we speak that we are communicating but is it effective? Be mindful of speaking in rote which is mechanical or habitual repeating of something learned. Rote does not give a high rate of return in the intimacy realms. Another watch word? Script! Speaking in a canned response (predictable) which people tend to drown out
Still another type of speak, rhetorical talk is one talking to themselves and for themselves essentially not including the other person but taking up their time. This triggers a signal to the listener's attention span to activate. Deer in headlights appears or eyes glaze-over. To hear yourself speak when around others bores
Watch what happens when we speak with children who process simplicity without effort. They don't think but instead live in a state of wonder. Trying to over-ride them when instructing, teaching or scolding requires a skill driven by patience. Timing & love helps this along. That means some preparation is in order
This is what we want and should aim for when we can i.e. to send and receive effectively and efficiently which not only stimulates and fulfills but leaves the participants in a state of "knowing" or intimacy. This process can change lives
I TOLD YOU ALREADY
If you find yourself having to repeat and with patience growing thin, then pause and consider that you are not at your premium & not being received by another. It is not their issue but yours. Time-out or another approach is the next step
PERMISSION TO SPEAK?
Asking someone if this is a good time or may I speak with you about something is like putting your toe in water to test the temperature. Very telling if you submit the question & not power it up. Bullying comes to mind as well as willfulness if you do.
CONTACT IS NECESSARY
We cannot go through life in a self-centered mode and expect all to go well when navigating with the masses and the different personalities. Teaching this principal should be mandatory in schools at an early age. We want to get good at hearing and being heard. Why? Personal and professional results rely on these dynamics
Judging another person! You spoke your peace. You didn't care whether it was received or not and you now without justice or balance (equal opportunity) proceed to condemn and judge the other. Just because you told someone something doesn't mean they got it, heard you or understood. Pause here
WATCH THIS TOO
Taking a superior stance when in a communicating arena for fun or for a necessity. Known as "condescending" , it turns people away, promotes confusion & can trigger anger compounding a problem. It is wise to employ humility & respect
Consider the gathering of people in an informal atmosphere an arena where one can practice or hone their communication skills. Lots of listening will pay-off here. Trial & error aka the learning curve will visit with you. So will this little feeling
Speaking at random sometimes produces comments not intended or presented in a raw state. Embarrassment or humiliation (social failing) will visit and it stings for a moment or two but consider it the price paid to learn and better one's self
COMMUNICATION END RESULT
If done correctly, a satisfaction that money cannot buy kicks-in and those involved have their personal stock increased. A type of bookmark in ones life takes place. In time, it may become a pleasant memory or a resolution of a sort. Contentment?
THE FIVE SENSES
Take a moment and consider the tools one has that we take for granted. Wielding and living correctly by being good stewards of our skills and talents not only is rewarding but rewards others too. Give and receive generously