Again and again I find that the best negotiators are excellent listeners, they also ask a lot of questions.
Sometimes I say something, just to test an agent, see if they will ask a follow up question, if they were listening they WOULD ask a question I think. I do this as later in the transaction, I am more prepared for how they may tend to negotiate.
I am no expert, but I have learned how important listening is to successful negotiation. This is because one MUST understand motives of both their principle (the person they work for) as well as the person on the other side of the transaction, be it the other party or their agent.
If I know what motivates a request, it allows me the option to find OTHER routes to fulfilling that same need.
For example, say we are negotiating for a piece of food and we get stuck at $10 vs $8. I want the food for $8 and the seller continues to insist on $10. Let's say I ask him WHY he requires $10. What if he says "Because the only change I have is my lucky $2 bill that my Aunt Sara gave me when I was 6 years old and I cannot part with it." Well.... that changes everything doesn't it, now we see that he doesn't care about the price, but simply about holding on to his lucky $2 bill. So I run and get change for my $10 and he gladly gives me the food for my exact amount of $8, and kept his $2.
Notice: Both people got what they wanted, and both were happy with the transaction. It was a "WIN-WIN" solution, as most successful negotations are, some would say they are NOT successful UNLESS it is "win-win".
More importantly, note that if I had not inquired about the WHY, he may have never told me, and I may have moved to another vendor to get a similar or substitute piece of food, and clearly HE would not be as happy as he didn't make the profit part of the $8 and perhaps I had to pay $9 or $9.50 at the other vendor. Ultimately it was win-win because I quit caring about MY needs for 2 minutes and asked about HIS needs.
This is a big part of effective negotiation. It is also an aspect that we as human beings frequently overlook, costing ourselves a good outcome due to greed or selfishness. Ironic but true. Greed can hurt. One can be greedy I suppose, but they need to learn how to forget their own motive of greed long enough to understand the other party.
This concept is also quite in line with Game-Theory in Economics. We have to think about the group outcome, not just our own as usually the optimum group outcome is the best for the individuals IN that group as well. If you want to understand more of this aspect of it (economics) try googling "prisoner's dilemma" and you'll get the idea in this simple 4 outcome situation. I would reiterate it for convenience, but I don't want John Nash coming after me!
All this being said, this is a fundamental component of negotiation and I recommend testing your potential agents in the early interviews to see how well they listen. If they cannot listen... how well can they possibly negotiate? Tip of the iceberg theories work well in many situations, this is no exception.
So remember, Listen, Ask Questions, THEN consider how best to propose what is important to you.
Ultimately, you'll find negotiation can be fun.... like solving a puzzle, there's usually some solution that works for everyone and allows an optimal outcome for all.
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