BE the Person Your Boyfriend Wouldn't Dream of Cheating on (yes, it's real estate-related).

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Education & Training with Sell with Soul

A long time ago, in my early 20's (egads, nearly 20 years ago), I was dating an equally young lad from Ireland. He was planning a "holiday" (as they say in Ireland) back home for three weeks. As an insecure young lass, I was terribly worried that he would meet back up with his high school sweetheart and, OMG, CHEAT on me.bf

So, I did what every other immature young woman with a boyfriend does... I whined, I pouted, I threatened, I begged him not to cheat on me while he was gone. Every day for a month, I "reminded" him that he had to be good while away. Ugh. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it.

Then one day, my slightly more mature roommate said the magic words to me: "Jennifer, you need to BE the person your boyfriend wouldn't dream of cheating on."

Wow.  WHAT A CONCEPT.

Okay, I promised this would relate to real estate, so let's rewrite my little story.

A long time ago, in my early late 20's (egads, nearly 20 12 years ago), I was dating starting up a real estate career in an equally young lad from Ireland Denver Colorado and was trying to drum up business for myself He was planning a "holiday" (as they say in Ireland) back home for three weeks. As an insecure young lass new real estate agent, I was terribly worried that he my friends would meet back up with his high school sweethearts refer their business to someone else and, OMG, CHEAT on me.

So, I did what every other immature young woman new real estate agent with a boyfriend does... I whined, I pouted, I threatened, I begged him my friends not to cheat on me while he was gone when they had a house to buy or sell. On the first Monday of every Every day for a month, I "reminded" him them that they he had to be good while away should remember how much I love referrals and how hurt I would be if they cheated*. Ugh. I'm embarrassed just thinking about it.

Then one day, my slightly more mature roommate inner voice said the magic words to me: "Jennifer, you need to BE the person agent your boyfriend friends wouldn't dream of cheating on."

Wow. WHAT A CONCEPT.

You can whine, pout, threaten, beg or just "remind," to get what you want OR you can simply BE such a terrific girlfriend real estate agent that your boyfriend friends wouldn't dream of going anywhere else.

*I'm stretching the truth here for dramatic effect. I actually never did implement these referral-begging tactics in my career, but it makes the story much better to say I did...

ja

 

 

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Rainmaker
752,422
Robert Rauf
HomeBridge Financial Services (NJ) - Toms River, NJ

what a great analogy! we need to build a relationship in this business that lasts, and if we do our jobs right they will come back without begging, even if they do go to Ireland!

Jul 01, 2008 01:41 AM #6
Rainmaker
1,026,990
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Now that is a story we can all relate to and learn from...enjoyed this one!!

Jul 01, 2008 01:52 AM #7
Rainer
26,172
Joshua & Kathy Schmidt
ERA Henley Real Estate - Cabot, AR

Great analogy Jenn, sounds like you have learned a little in 20 12 years.  Thanks for a great read!

Jul 01, 2008 02:01 AM #8
Rainmaker
173,260
Michael Johnson
Carolina One Real Estate - Goose Creek, SC
Metro Charleston SC

I like it.  It sounds a bit like what I tell young single friends of mine who are looking for a spouse.  They always tell me the are still looking for the right person.  I respond, "Don't look for the right person...be the right person and it will all work out!  I guess the same applies in real estate.

Jul 01, 2008 02:09 AM #9
Rainmaker
484,257
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Michael - Yes indeed, it does...

J&K - Amazing - at 41, you'd think I"d have learned all I need to, but... NO!

Susan - I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Robert - Yes they will, I promise.

Katie - thanks!

Debbie - sometimes it's easier to internalize a concept when it's outside of real estate, eh?

Scott - Well, I don't think he did...

Matt - believe it or not, I married him... briefly. Ahhhh, youth.

Laura - unfortunately, I still push when I should relax...

Jul 01, 2008 02:47 AM #10
Rainer
84,353
Joe Adams
Major Mortgage USA/Branch Manager - Montrose, CO

JA, well written and a nice little reminder that we all need to be the one that they wont cheat on..... 

Jul 01, 2008 03:17 AM #11
Rainer
45,581
Joe Virnig
RE/MAX Gold Coast REALTORS, Ventura County, California - Ventura, CA
No Ordinary Joe

This is pretty funny.  I picked up a tape series on "How to Seduce Women" or something like that when I became single after 18 years of marriage.  It was one of the best real estate sales tapes I ever listened too.  All you had to do was change a few words.

Jul 01, 2008 03:48 AM #12
Rainmaker
63,714
Robin Sherman
www.PensacolaForYou.com - Grand Points Realty - Pensacola, FL
Search Pensacola Homes, For Sale - Pensacola FL Neighborhoods

Jennifer - We have a license to "embellish" here in the deep south. It DOES make the stories ever so much more interesting. My husband (New Yorker, wouldn't cha know it) likes to call it my "story creep."

Jul 01, 2008 04:57 AM #13
Rainer
139,593
Harold "Hal" Place
A1 Connection Realty, Inc. - Sun City Center, FL

Hi Jennifer,

It is always best to strive to be the best, not just in your profession but in life as a whole. I know from reading your post that you are just that kind of a person. I try to be as well.

Jul 01, 2008 07:17 AM #14
Rainer
155,621
R. B. "Bob" Mitchell - Loan Officer Raleigh/Durham
Bank of England (NMLS#418481) - Raleigh, NC
Bob Mitchell (NMLS#1046286)

I love the analogy!  Unfortunately, I don't know that there is much you can do about your boyfriend cheating on you when he was away or about your friends and family members referring business to another agent. 

If they are going to do it, they are going to do it and all you can do is to let the air out of their tires afterward! ;-)  Just teasing!

Bob Mitchell

ValueList Real Estate Services, Inc.

Jul 01, 2008 08:05 AM #15
Rainmaker
484,257
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Bob - ahhhh, that's the point. If I were a great girlfriend (assuming he's a decent guy), he wouldn't dare take the chance of losing me! Same thing with our friends and family... if they consider us The Best, they'll enthusiastically support our business... but we can't whine or pout our way into that sort of loyalty and admiration.

Hal - Amen!

Robin - I Laughed Out Loud when I read your comment. Thanks!

Joe - give us some tips!

Jul 01, 2008 08:21 AM #16
Rainmaker
519,628
Ken Tracy
Keller Williams Realty Infinity - Naperville, IL
Helping clients buy and sell since 2005

Hi Jennifer.  Another great post.  I am glad I have subscribed.  I see business this way too.

Congrats,

Ken

Jul 01, 2008 10:21 AM #17
Rainer
137,271
Kimberly Grant
Exit Leon Crawford Realty - Huntsville, AL
Real Estate Agent - Huntsville Alabama

Jennifer I loved this post.  It was very creative and I like the comparison of the cheating boyfriend.  It really makes you think!! I am really enjoying your blog.

Jul 01, 2008 10:24 AM #18
Ambassador
3,090,160
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Jennifer:  It all boils down to actions speaking louder than words.  If you are confident and do a great job, you will attract business....loyal business.  If you are insecure, and show it in your actions, don't expect much.

Jul 01, 2008 10:28 AM #19
Rainmaker
246,930
Jackie - computer-training-atlanta.com
770.498.7333 - Atlanta, GA
Learn to leverage technology to get more done.

Being the person your boyfriend won't dream of cheating on won't stop him from cheating. Even good guys (the majority) have their big dummy moments. (Ask a guy, he will agree) :-)

However, being the person your boyfriend won't dream of cheating on makes it easier to find another great guy if you have to dump the current one.

 

Jul 02, 2008 01:15 AM #20
Rainer
29,180
Jimmie Graham
Keller Williams Realty - Ypsilanti, MI

That's was a cute posts. The scary part. The whining and begging reminded me of my girlfriend.  Though I like how you rewrote as well.  I look forward to reading more of your newsletters.

Jul 02, 2008 03:27 AM #21
Rainmaker
449,858
Vickie McCartney
Maverick Realty - Owensboro, KY
Broker, Real Estate Agent Owensboro KY

Jennifer~  The most important thing is to realize that you can only control yourself, your thoughts,  and your actions, not someone elses!  You have to be the best you can be for yourself's sake, not for someone elses.  People that cheat in any way (such as in business dealings,relationships, etc...) think it is ok and they make excuses for it being ok. 

Jul 02, 2008 07:09 AM #22
Ambassador
1,367,068
Loreena and Michael Yeo
3:16 team REALTY ~ Locally-owned Prosper TX Real Estate Co. - Prosper, TX
Real Estate Agents

Oh my gosh.... this is so smart. I love the way you think and relate it to real life.... (haha.). But honestly, I can see your point. I dont pesture my clients to send me a referral either. They do it and most of the time, they inject a conversation about me very cleverly. Much better than if it was forced into the conversation. That is all seems unnatural and how good am I then?

I do have clients who sometimes I work with "go MIA" with me. Then many months later, they surfaced and ask me to show them some houses again. I think somehow there is a trust and liking that has been built because they could have just asked another agent to show and begin another relationship. So, for that, I appreciate that and I do make it obvious that I know about their loyalty.

Jul 02, 2008 08:57 AM #23
Anonymous
Anonymous

Good stuff!

Jul 12, 2008 05:52 AM #24
Anonymous
Anonymous

Good stuff!

Jul 12, 2008 05:53 AM #25
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