7 words to start your changes with

Real Estate Agent with Realty One Group # S.0190863

In preparation for a Zoom call we are holding this Tuesday at 2pm EST and 11am PST, here is a brief primer on the power of language.  First published over a year ago.

Once upon a time George Carlin became famous with his comedy routine, “The seven words you can’t say on television” So, just to be clear, I am not speaking about THOSE seven words. You see, in each seminar we taught, we started with these 7 words because they can completely alter the way your mind works. Your thoughts become words, your words become actions, your actions become habits and your habits become character, your character becomes your destiny. If you can eliminate these 7 words from your vocabulary, your mind is actually forced to find new empowering ways of thinking and acting.

Try As Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.” There actually is NO state of trying. You are either doing it or you are not. See a pencil or a pen? Try to pick it up. You will find it impossible. You will either pick it up or you will not pick it up. “Try” has become a weak word used as an excuse for giving up. It has become a way to explain to others that you are the victim here and that it wasn’t your fault. Truth is, it is FAR more empowering to say you failed and that you will learn from the failure to do the action a different and more successful way next time.

Can’t   Can’t means one of two things. It either means “don’t know how to” or “don’t want to” claiming either one of those is far more empowering. You see, “can’t” is another weak word used to paint oneself as the victim. Let’s say that your friend asks you to lunch. If you don’t want to, just say, “I don’t want to”. If you want to except you already have an appointment at that time, just say, “I would love to and I already have a 12:00 commitment. Any chance we can do lunch at 1:00 or maybe tomorrow?” Not only have you removed yourself from being the victim, you have also let your friend know you really want to find a way to make this happen.

But  We have all heard that “but” negates everything that came before it in a sentence. “It looks like it’s going to be a good day, but it’s going to rain” actually means “because it’s going to rain so it won’t be a good day” as an alternative, use the word “and”. “It looks like a good day and it’s going to rain” actually includes the rain in the good day.

If   We have all heard statements like “If I get this listing”, “If I have a good interview”, “If I can pull this project off”. Again, “if” is a weak word. Just like can’t or try, you are setting yourself up for the possibility of failure and that it’s okay. You realize that your brain is the ultimate computer, right? Weak words like this are programming that computer for failure. Instead of “if”, use the word “when”. “When” presupposes success. It programs your brain to find the way to create that success.

Hope   You go to the doctor because you have a pain that is only getting worse over the last 2 weeks. The doctor says, “Take off all your clothes and lay down on the table. I sure hope we can figure out what’s wrong.” Does that make you feel confident? NO! You want the doctor to KNOW he will find out what is wrong. Thus, remove “hope” and substitute the word “know” (again setting the brain up to find a way for success).

Why    “Why” is a weak word as well. Only because it sets you up for excuses. For instance, if you say, “Why do you treat me this way?” it gets you excuses. If you ask, “What do I have to do in order to have you treat me the way I want to be treated?” you actually start to lay out a game plan. Instead of “why”, ask “what”, ask “how” as those questions will get you closer to a solution instead of an excuse.

Problem   There was 1 week where I lost my job, my girlfriend moved away to another state, I lost my condo to foreclosure and my dad almost died in the hospital at a time where I had no money to be able to drive to San Diego and be with my family. Still, I had no problems. You see nobody likes a problem. However, people do like challenges. Challenges make you bring out the best in yourself and rise to the occasion. So, eliminate “problem” and use “challenge” instead.

Now some of you are already getting your replies ready. Some of you are thinking about how these are not accurate. Some of you are thinking that this won’t work. Still, some of you will think of “wax on, wax off”. You’ll be thinking, “I may not see it now, still this could work”. I have taught these and used these patterns for over 20 years. I have given up the “victim” mentality and chosen to let my mind show me new possibilities that I may not have realized existed. Good luck!

Comments (6)

Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Hope all is well it has been a while since we connected, loved your post now with that said inquiring minds want  to know are you the speaker of the Zoom session? If yes too bad I can't make it... would love to see you there, Endre

Nov 21, 2021 10:18 PM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I totally agree about the choice of words and about these specific words. The other negative use of"why" is when someone says something and you say "Why do you feel that way?" or just "Why?" For some reason most people get defensive about that word. "What makes you say that?" seems to work better.

Nov 22, 2021 05:26 AM
Brian England
Vacasa - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I gain something beneficial each and every time I listen to you speak, you are full of wisdom, my friend.

Nov 22, 2021 06:19 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Rocky I don't know about eliminating these seven words.  Most people will not be able to complete a sentence without saying one of them.   ☺️

Nov 22, 2021 08:59 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

I love your analysis of these words!  Thank you, Rocky Dickerson

Nov 22, 2021 05:45 PM
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Rocky- I'm looking forward to today's Zoom Meeting!  We may not be able to eliminate those words immediately but we can try!

Nov 23, 2021 10:39 AM