Santa Arrested and Booked on Numerous Charges

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Eagle Ridge Realty / Signature Homes & Estates DRE# 01309169

 

Santa Claus was arrested early Friday morning on the East Coast of the United States.  He is currently being held on numerous charges, the main ones are residential burglary and operating a vehicle while intoxicated.

Police responded to a call just after midnight when a homeowner heard some loud noises on his roof.  Upon arrival, police found a morbidly obese man rolling around on a roof, and suspect appeared to be intoxicated.  Police were able to get the man off the roof, and confirm his name as Santa Claus, aka Saint Nick and Kris Kringle.

Santa Claus had a sled full of toys, believed to be acquired during a burglary spree after he broke into and entered many neighboring homes and stole children's toys which were wrapped for Christmas morning gift giving.  

Protective animal services were also called to the scene as Santa Clause had apparently tied together 9 reindeer, and a further investigation will be conducted regarding possible animal cruelty.

Santa Claus gave his residence as The North Pole and claimed his occupation at booking as "Industrialist and Philanthropist".  Besides the burglary, larceny, and animal cruelty charges, he was also referred to the DA's office for possible resisting arrest after arresting officer, Sgt. Betsy Buzzkill revealed in her bodycam footage that Santa Claus referred to her using the urban slang term "Ho" not once but three times.  It was also determined that Santa Might be under some psychedelic drugs as well, as he was insisting he was flying from rooftop to rooftop with his flying reindeer.  He indicated all he had to drink was milk, which police believe was actually eggnog and Santa had cookies crumbs on his beard, as his booking photo revealed. He was suspected of being under heavier, illegal drugs when he explained to the officer his reindeer got on the roof by flying up there, and it should be noted that reindeer are not native to the North Pole, so police are checking with local zoos to see if any animals are missing, which could lead to further charges.

Ollie W. Holmes, and attorney for Santa Claus, from the world renowned law firm "Four Drunks and a Copier, LLP" immediately issued a statement proclaiming his client's innocence and said they will fight like heck to restore his good name. 

Mr. Santa Claus made news a few years back after the Justice Department filed anti-trust action against him, as well as numerous workplace violations.  Furthermore, there were allegations of strike busting and other unfair labor practices after the IBCTMU (International Brotherhood of Christmas Toy Makers Union) replace most of his workers at his factory with robots, in violation with the labor contract in place at the time.  Mrs. Claus, when reached was extremely upset because she looks forward to Christmas eve as she get the whole house to herself, alone with peace and quiet as the factory closes at 3pm, and she claims she does not have the funds to post Santa's bail.  At press time she is thinking of setting up a Go Fund Me account. 

Mr. Santa Claus is being held on $1,000,000 bond.  All suspects are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Comments (18)

Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

Hello Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI, SRES this is so funny.  That Santa looks like he is a bad Santa.  

Dec 24, 2021 05:58 PM
Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI, SRES

Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist   He certainly is gangsta compared to the myth that has been created for him over the centuries.  

Dec 24, 2021 06:09 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Gary- what a cute story!!!!! Merry Christmas to you!!

Dec 24, 2021 07:07 PM
Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI, SRES

Kathy Streib   Merry Christmas to you.  Sorry to be the bearer of bad news! 😂

Dec 24, 2021 07:10 PM
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney) - Orange, CA
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660

Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI, SRES 

Just when you think you know someone.... 

That picture is so not helping his defense!  😂

 

Dec 24, 2021 07:17 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Gary, this was very entertaining, thanks for sharing, and have a very Merry Christmas!  

Dec 25, 2021 06:23 AM
Chris Griffith
Downing-Frye Realty, Bonita Springs, FL - Bonita Springs, FL
Bonita Springs Listing Specialist - Agent

LOL! Naughty Santa! Best wishes to you and your family for a Very Merry Christmas and Happy, Healthy New Year!

Dec 25, 2021 06:29 AM
Ed Silva
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Just another case of sensationalistic journalism by the press and overzealous profiling by Officer Buzzkill. Where was the stable and responsible desk Sargent when Buzzkill brough in the alleged offender?  Ho, Ho, Ho, in deed  

Dec 25, 2021 09:14 AM
Anna Banana Kruchten CRS, Phoenix Broker
HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000 - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Gary you've got us all laughing this fine Christmas Day!  Merry Christmas to You.  Ho! Ho! Ho!

Dec 25, 2021 09:55 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Gary - a fun read.  Merry Christmas.  May the "Go Fund Me Oh ME Oh MY" effort be successful.   

Dec 25, 2021 09:57 AM
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

My friend Tom thought it was time to become a Santa. He looked like one.  He spent $350 dollars on his custome. He got audited by IRS. He sent a letter back to IRS that Target never paid him and a deduction of expenses was proper. That letter along with a photo of him answered IRS question.

Dec 25, 2021 10:14 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

Hello Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI, SRES 

Let's hope Mrs. Clause 🤶 can get her husband 🎅 out on bail. This all seems like such a  bad rap for Santa. 

May you live with love and joy in your heart and always be healthy and happy. 

Merry Merry Christmas 🎄🎄🎄

Happy Happy Everything. 

Dec 25, 2021 10:52 AM
Joan Valverde
HomeSmart - Colorado Springs, CO
GRI,CDPE,CNE,MRP,SRES Colo Sprgs, Blk Forest, Monu

Merry Christmas Gary!!   

 

A great story for Christmas!  Just when we think we can trust the Jolly Ole Soul! lol

May your Christmas be bright and filled with love and laughter.  And May God Bless you in 2022!!

Dec 25, 2021 11:16 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Oh my, Santa said HO HO HO? Sounds to me like Betsy Buzzkill is a bit of a narcissist.

Dec 25, 2021 03:53 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Pretty funny and weird dark humor. A very Merry Christmas to everyone

Dec 25, 2021 10:31 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI, SRES ,

This is hysterical! Thank you for the chuckle and Merry Christmas to you!

Dec 26, 2021 12:05 AM
Miriam Odegard
United Real Estate Indianapolis - Indianapolis, IN
Real Estate Broker Serving Greater Indianapolis

Bwaahahahahaha!! I fell out of my chair laughing! Loved your post, Gary! So clever!

Dec 26, 2021 05:10 AM
faye schubert
Branson, MO
Living the Branson Lake Life

Hilarious! I guess Santa won't be one to be released and hour later after committing his "crimes" !

Dec 26, 2021 06:45 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Gary:

This was hilarious, and so clever!

Thank you for your presentation today on golf course communities - it was very informative!

Jeff

Dec 28, 2021 12:47 PM
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I like the way you write and enjoyed listening to what you had to say on the zoom call yesterday!

Dec 29, 2021 04:31 AM