Growing stronger, and facing the new year with optimism...

By
Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Residential

Good morning!!

I woke early this morning. Just a few minutes before 4 am…

I had gone to bed very early last night, so, despite the hour, I was well rested…

Today is New Years Day. It is 4:14 am, and the house is dark and quiet…

As I lay in my bed shortly after waking, I was in relative comfort, but my mind was active…

I was thinking of my day yesterday. New Years Eve. A very special day for me over the last 5 years, years which brought me a special new relationship with someone that I loved deeply…

I shared those days with her and her family. Very fond memories…

But yesterday, New Years Eve 2021, was different…

I didn’t feel like celebrating. I was struggling with emotions. With sadness…

Sadness for dreams that didn’t work out as I had planned…

So most of my day yesterday was spent reflecting on holidays’ past. Thinking of the good times with that special person. Remembering the excitement of those nights we had together…

And I knew this New Years Eve was going to be different. And I knew I wouldn’t feel like celebrating…

While I kept busy for most of the day, there was an emptiness in my heart. I knew I couldn’t be with the person I wanted to be with the very most…

It made me sad yesterday. It makes me sad as I type those words…

But sadness is ok. It isn’t a curse or a permanent state of being…

It is an emotion. An emotion that sometimes needs to be felt and experienced…

So I felt it. I wallowed in my sadness. I cried most of the evening, feeling alone, and certainly not feeling like celebrating…

I wasn’t alone, however. I had many friends in the house with me. They were celebrating, having fun, playing games, and laughing. They were doing what you are supposed to be doing on New Years Eve, as you count down the hours until midnight…

But again, my day was different. Hearing the laughter of my friends only made me feel out of place. For laughter wasn’t in my heart yesterday…

So as I passed the hours experiencing my feelings, healing just a bit with every tear that I shed…

I accepted where I was. I accepted the sadness. The tears. The feeling of loneliness…

And this morning, the very first day of the new year, I feel better…

For I had not denied my emotions. I did not fight those feelings, or try to cover them up in any way, and I let the tears flow…

For I realize, strong men cry too…

And my experiences over the last several months have made me stronger. I am a better person than I was just a few months ago…

I am sober. I am realizing who I really am. My strengths, and my weaknesses…

I am facing the challenges as learning experiences. As temporary things. As opportunities for growth…

So today, on this first day of this new year, New Years Day, 2022…

I am optimistic, and I am excited…

I am ready to get started. To continue the work I have done over the last several months. To learn more about myself. To improve…

To get better every day.

To be the man I was meant to be…

Ken

Comments (7)

Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Ken. You are off to a terrific start building on the momentum you developed in 2021. 2022 is defined to be tremendous for you. Enjoy the first day.

Jan 01, 2022 04:25 AM
Ken Tracy

Thanks Michael!!  Started this year with a bang with a post and a good video this morning on FB...


Happy New Year to you!


Ken

Jan 01, 2022 08:24 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

As Wayne Martin mentioned, 2022 will be a great year for you. You are off to a great start.

Jan 01, 2022 05:01 AM
Ken Tracy

Thanks so much Kat!!


Happy New Year!


Ken

Jan 01, 2022 08:24 AM
Bill Salvatore - East Valley
Arizona Elite Properties - Chandler, AZ
Realtor - 602-999-0952 / em: golfArizona@cox.net

Ken, Happy New Year to you.  Make it your best year ever.  Thanks for the Blog and have a relaxing day. bill

Jan 01, 2022 05:05 AM
Ken Tracy

Thanks Bill!  Have my feet up and a book in front of me...


Ken

Jan 01, 2022 08:24 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello and Happy New Year, Ken - here's to early birds and productive worm-gathering today and throughout 2022.  

Jan 01, 2022 05:30 AM
Ken Tracy

Happy New Year Michael!!


Ken

Jan 01, 2022 08:25 AM
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Wishing you a year of great happiness and unexpected wonders.  Take good care, Ken. 

Jan 01, 2022 06:33 AM
Ken Tracy

Thanks so much Debb!  Happy New Year!


Ken

Jan 01, 2022 08:25 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Ken - you are off to a very good start.  I wish you a very happy year.

Jan 01, 2022 06:54 AM
Ken Tracy

Thanks Grant!!  Happy New Year!!

Jan 01, 2022 08:25 AM
Thomas J. Nelson, REALTOR ® e-Pro CRS RCS-D Vets
Big Block Realty 858.232.8722 - La Jolla, CA
& Host of Postcards From Success Podcast

"Hey Now, Hey Now, Don't Dream It's Over" - Crowded House

Melancholy is a great mood for reflection, but now set yourself in a forward direction.

2022 will be an amazing year to accomplish some of those unfinished dreams!

Great information and thanks for sharing it here.

Happy New Year! 🍾🥂💥 from La Jolla, CA!

Jan 01, 2022 08:18 AM
Ken Tracy

Hello Thomas!!  Happy New Year to you!

Jan 01, 2022 08:26 AM