Do You Have FOBAH

Real Estate Broker/Owner with HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 311291

More and more, I am hearing from buyers, and some tell me they are giving up. They have a fear of buying a house. 


One couple visiting my open house said they stopped looking more than six months ago after five rejected offers. They were strongly encouraged to waive inspections and appraisal contingency. They were afraid and not something they would consider.

Buyers are frustrated, and they don't want to be a "bother" to their agent, so they call the listing agent. This action may not be a good situation for buyers who may be giving up representation. These buyers are easy pickings for some agents. Yes, I have heard many backstories from the public-thanks to my radio show listeners who call "anonymously "during the week.

And I am receiving calls from parents to help find a home for their children and grandchildren. Many are willing to assist financially. But they don't want to 'interfere.'  So they call me to see if I know of any homes coming on the market.

These family members are researching, calling listing agents, and gathering Real Estate information.  

It's not easy finding homes that meet a buyer's needs in terms of price, location, and schools.

But this is a perfect opportunity for buyers agents to stay in touch, research, and help these ready, willing, and able buyers. 

Now is not the time to give up but the time to be proactive, stay in touch with your buyers, and don't give these homeowner wannabes a chance to go rogue. They are in fear of buying a house. 

Agents should always ask if they have representation. Call that buyer agent when a buyer contacts you. The opportunity is there. Help the other agent by letting them know when a new property hits the market. Many transactions are put together with buyer agents and selling agents working together.


We can help when there is FOBAH.

Thinking of buying or selling a home

Call Margaret Rome


Margaret Rome



Posted by

Margaret Rome
HomeRome Realty

Baltimore, Maryland

Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Sundays 12 noon.

Author: Real Estate The Rome Way

About me
My blog
My website
My radio podcasts

(410) 530-2400


Comments (11)

Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Margaret - once a buyer finds a good agent like you they should set their goals and work their plan but always keep the buyers agent as the trusted advisor.

Jan 26, 2022 03:46 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Margaret - people who want to buy but have such a fear are likely the right candidates for finding the right real estate representation for them.  The ability to connect with someone else can often lead to a threshold.  And in the realty world that can be the threshold of your new home.   

Jan 26, 2022 04:47 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Margaret. I have never had FOBAH. When it was time to buy, I bought! In the good times and in the bad. I got what I needed. That said, I can understand how many people succumb to fear and manipulation. Enjoy your day.

Jan 26, 2022 05:20 AM
Ed Silva
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

FOBAH will be felt by many a buyer, but it will be a different type of buyer's remorse.  Not a disappointment in the house they bought but the fact that they let it as them by.

Jan 26, 2022 06:19 AM
Ray Henson
eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277) - Elk Grove, CA

I have not heard the term FOBAH before.  Most buyers, especially first time buyers, do have it or some level of apprehension.  I try to meet with my clients very early on and discuss the process with them.   It seems to help.

Jan 26, 2022 06:51 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

They are smart to not want to waive inspections or other contingencies. That is no way to buy a house yet in markets like we are in it seems to be the only way to get an offer accepted. 

Not wanting to bother their agent, not so smart.  They need their agent and if they are working with the right agent, they will keep at it until they get an offer accepted. 

I've had buyer clients in the past say those words, I would, with a lot of humor and antics and elevated voice say ... I WANT you to BOTHER me.  It is my JOB. That is all it took. 

Jan 26, 2022 08:31 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate



Mr. Crappy Says

Bother Your Agent

Or You May End Up In A



Situation You Were Trying to Avoid!


Jan 26, 2022 08:34 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Margaret I can understand Buyers getting frustrated after losing out on a number of offers and wanting to give up.  BUT what they need to understand is the sure way of not having an offer accepted is not to make an offer.  In my opinion it is better to make an offer and lose, than to not make an offer and not have a chance of having it accepted.

Jan 26, 2022 03:36 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Margaret- in this sellers/buyer's frenzy market it's easy to see how a buyer could get FOBAH. You get caught up in it and then worry about making a quick decision. The best thing someone can do is hire an agent that will honestly act in their best interest. And agents would do well to learn how to work with their fellow agents.

Jan 26, 2022 07:07 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

In eras of strong buyer markets, a little hesitancy may be OK.  But, in recent years, where so many markets have been tilted strongly in favor of sellers, that hesitancy can leave some out in the cold.  These aren't the easiest of times for home buyers.  Strong competition from other buyers, low inventory and rising interest rates, create a great deal of pressure. 

My advice to home buyers: Find the very best agent to help guide you through the process, and help soothe any jitters you may have.

Jan 26, 2022 10:21 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS Margaret, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!  

Jan 26, 2022 10:21 PM