Perfectly Flawed: An Open Secret
Post 1 will be about how your experiences have affected your personal life and what your book would be about. I can share my book would be about the personal lessons below, and how they guide me through a good life.
- In Winter 1985/1986 I was homeless, living in my car for 3 months at 16yrs.
- In April 1989 both my hands 80% amputated at 20 yrs. Physical recovery would take 3 years and the PTSD is still with me to this day.
- In late 1989, bought my first house through both rent-to own and seller financing methods. This taught me a lot about real estate ownership and investing and set my RE investing in motion that continues to this day, I just bought another investment property in July 2021.
- 1995 Married at 26 yrs. – it felt right at the time.
- In 1997 I became a dad at 29 yrs. – planned happiness.
- 2000 -divorced at 31 yrs. And forced into a custody battle of epic proportions; PTSD returned stronger than ever.
- 2002 Remarried my love, Ailina at 34 yrs. in our beloved Maui.
- Moved to San Diego, CA in 2003 at 35 yrs. (a promise kept).
- 2018-Present: There have been many challenges in the last 4+ years, my marriage needed to be worked on and I’m proud to say we did and we’re better the last three years than the previous 19 years.
- My 50th birthday came with having a stroke 3 days later, luckily a mild one known as a transient ischemic attack(TIA) but this set me on a gym workout and yoga journey than allowed me to lose 40 lbs and feel young again.
- The pandemic of 2020-2022 brought my bride and I closer, my business took off like a rocket and we suffered much loss. Ironically no one was lost to COVID-19, but we lost a parent, family, friends and our beloved dog Peroni all in the last 2 years.
- But I’ll share this, it’s a journey I wouldn’t re-do differently, it’s led me here and I’m quite happy; it’s a good life, not always great, because people die, lie and cry, but always a good life because it’s filled with gifts amongst the challenges.
May 1989, 1 month after my hand's reconstructive surgery.
Notice they are completely covered in "boxer casts" -
I had no use of them for months and needed 100% care.
Personally, what my total experiences have taught me are easily summed up here, but quite the Cliff Notes version as my life lessons are a three-part book deal, and yet I feel I’m still learning so this at best, is an incomplete list even if completely shared; I'm a work in progress until my last breath.
The accident with my hands, where they were crushed into 80% amputation, whether I like it or not, has taught me not to complain so much. When I look at my scars I remind myself, "Dude, you went through much worse in 1989, is this really THAT bad?" I still do complain, but I catch quicker and restore perspective. It really seems too ridiculous sometimes what upsets me, compared to the accident. I have to laugh off my silliness - it's a good life - relax!
October 4, 1997 I became a Dad to Wyatt Thomas Nelson
The most important thing in life to me is love, loving your family, your spouse, your kids, your friends and most importantly, you MUST love yourself first. You cannot love another completely if you do not first love yourself.
Then, once you do love someone, the most important thing I've learned about love, is forgiveness. Be willing to own your mistakes and forgive yourself. Be willing to forgive others for their mistakes. We’re all flawed beautiful humans, we’ll all blow it occasionally. Holding a grudge, hate and animosity is toxic, it’s cancer. People need to be worthy of forgiveness, I'm sure we all have someone that we had to walkaway from permanently, but we can privately forgive them in our hearts and settle for indifference rather than carry hatred for them the rest of our lives.
October 5, 2002, Ailina did me the honor of becoming my bride for life.
The Grand Wailea - Maui, Hawaii
Learn to love freely, learn to forgive generously. Don’t judge others, for they are hard enough on themselves, you don’t need to pile on to the expectations they put upon themselves. I decided I need to be able to offer encouragement if I see their potential, advice if they are asking only or simple silence-I stay out of it sometimes as a best course of action.
(left) My first purchase San Mateo, CA 1989
(above) My first San Diego, CA purchase 2007
My experiences have taught me many other helpful lessons be tenacious but polite, be flexible, but establish your boundaries, be honest but not hurtful and most of all, seriously…never ever quit until the heartbeat ends, if there’s a pulse, there’s a chance. I never give up on something until it is truly time to do so, because I’ve been told “no” only to get a “yes” and I’ve seen seemingly "impossible" results come to fruition; so be passionate about your goals and be true to yourself and get after it! One life, don't blow it.