All Things Real Estate: Words and emotions can kill the deal

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Turn Key Real Estate 31RA0874656

I have noticed over the years when one is selling, investing, purchasing, renting or even leasing residential and/or commercial properties, human emotion has had quite a lot to do with the process. This perspective is mine alone and not related to any articles or columns that I or you may have read currently or in the past. Experiencing human nature at its best and worst with respect to verbal responses to questions, what is most important in the process from start to finish, common sense and critical thinking, and expressions and body motions reveals an amazing and many times a constructive view of how the consumer thinks and then acts upon and applies to their decision-making.

There is a saying that I heard, learned and absorbed over 40 years ago that “buyers are liars, sellers are yellers, and lawyers are destroyers,” This is not to say that any of this is mostly true, but many of us have definitely experienced at one time or another some of these insulting sayings. The real question is how does one avoid or deal with them when confronted with these sticky and embarrassing situations? It isn’t so easy or is it?

Pragmatic, common sense and logical thinking may be required during those moments in time when these challenging events occur with those individuals who for one reason or another pose a problem when you’re trying to transact a sale, an investment, purchase, rental or lease.

The methods and strategies that one may use will either create a successful end result or an untenable, stressful disastrous event that you want to completely erase out from your mind’s eye going forward. It’s always easy to remember and reminisce about all those successful closings.  There are also those those bad and “I want to forget about” crazy and pretty much impossible deals that you hopefully learn from and move on from to never repeat those mistakes and errors again. But here we go when human nature raises its ugly head right into the mix once again and so many keep repeating the errors of their past.

There are words to choose and words to lose when engaged in the real estate business whether as a full-time or even a part-time agent. Agents as well as consumers should be much more aware of them as this can and will affect a transaction as well as a relationship. I can provide some of the words as it is my method that I teach my agents on a consistent and repetitive basis over time by exploring, learning, absorbing and applying the information creating more successful outcomes, when listing properties, working with investors, purchasers, renters and lessees of residential and commercial properties.

I don’t say the path is always easy to navigate, and some will stumble and fall, but despite some pains there will almost always be your gains. It isn’t how many times you strike out but the number of times you get up at bat and swing for the bleachers. (not sure who said this over the years, possibly me, but I am not sure).

We try to never use the following words: honestly, truthfulness, be perfectly honest with you, I’ll be honest with you. During the last 40-plus years I have realized that there is no need to use the word honest, honesty or honestly in any sentences as one should assume that it is a given that you are. People overuse and abuse the words to a point at which I always wonder are those who use them truly honest? Most of the time people are, but then there are some who are surely the opposite. Instead replace these words or phrases with “I will be perfectly upfront” and/or “perfectly candid with you.”

Whether you are a seller, investor, buyer, renter or lessee of residential and/or commercial property, choose your words carefully and keep your emotions hidden inside your pocket, because providing too much information (after disclosing the necessary and required info) and letting your guard down can and will cause irreparable harm to your pocketbook.

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Comments (4)

Richard Weeks
Dallas, TX
REALTOR®, Broker

Great information, thanks for sharing.  I hope you have a great day.

May 02, 2022 04:40 AM
Philip A. Raices

Thanks Rich!


May 15, 2022 08:30 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Philip. Emotion buys and then your brain engages itself to justify the decision. Enjoy your day.

May 02, 2022 05:09 AM
Philip A. Raices

Hey Wayne GM,

Unfortunately, it should be the other way around but not all humans are created equally and so many react irrationally as they have jumped into the vast ocean  of purchasers who are many times more qualified, and then the bidding wars began.  Some buyers have ended up paying way way too much over the asking price, due to emotional, financial, insane instability and uncontrollable "I have to have it, no matter what" mentality & FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).  It reminds me of the  irrational exuberance that our X-Fed Alan Greenspan (who also screwed up royally back then)  discussed in his speech he gave @ The American Enterprise Institute during the dot-com bubble of the 1990's.  Our current Fed Chair, Jerome Powell, with his comment earlier this year, that our inflation was "transitory" and obviously was not upfront and candid with the American Consumer, who was already feeling the pain of higher prices.  He was way, way too late to the game of reducing our current (18%, not 8% when you add into  the C.P.I.,  Food and energy-heating oil/natural gas fuel, gasoline) because the real truth would have become very apparent.  Since consumer spending is 70% of our economy, this would have caused a severe slow down in our spending, out of our real fear, causing a catastrophic problem for our economy).  I am not a certified economist, but sometimes I may act that way, but he should have slowly increased the rates and begun doing so back in 2021 starting @ 1/8 of a point and then gauged the impact on our goods and services as the supply chain interruption was already occurring and with all the money that they gave us to spend and keep our nation viable and moving ahead, to me, it was a no-brainer that the economy was going to heat up, but who knew? But Jerome Powell and the Powers that Be should have!  I hope and pray that those who let their emotions overrule their common sense thought process (common sense is no longer common and critical thinking is no  longer critical!) don't have to sell due to financial or family issues over the next 3-5 years and suffer the financial and mental pain that so many experienced in the implosion of our CDO's created (Collateralized Debt Obligations/Stock Broker/Market created) overblown 2008 market; although right now inventory is at the complete opposite position as it was then.  More important the U.S. is short @least 6+ million housing units, so it will be @ least 3-5 years or longer? until our normal 6-7 month inventory becomes apparent and normal once again, or will it?


May 15, 2022 08:37 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Welcome to Active Rain and what a powerful post, too bad most people will not get it. Your description about 'honest" when some one says that I look and double check are they lying?:) Just like when someone gives 110 per cent REALLY? there is only 100 per cent:) Endre

May 24, 2022 10:46 PM
Philip A. Raices

Hey Endre,  Somehow, I missed your comment back in May.  I have been in Real Estate since 1981 as when I purchased my first investment property.  I look back wondering was it an emotional buy? For me absolutely not!  It was all about the money and appreciation that I felt deep down inside that it would increase my future wealth as they aren't growing anymore and in that area there was an upward swing in values and redeveloping of that particular street and location.  

However, I see time in and time out so many individuals and families that get emotionally involved in their purchases especially when it comes to the primary residence over the last few years since the Pandemic and even before. There is this phrase FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that has driven some of the decision making.  However, more space, privacy and safety has really fueled our market in exiting major cities, so I would still call that an emotional as well as a health and survival decision too.  How is your market doing lately, slowing a bit, since the lowest number of mortgage applications was noted on CNBC last Wed June 8th, indicating a huge pullback by purchasers as our interest rates have increased making monthly costs to buy escalate.  Wait until this morning when our Fed Chair Jerome Powell raises interest rates again by 50 basis points or possibly more!  I firmly believe he was too late to the game and he should have begun raising rates in 2021 by 1/8 of a point and easing us into this most challenging times.  Transitory was a poor choice of words and he will be regretting is verbalization of  our market for a very long time! 

Jun 14, 2022 05:37 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Philip A. Raices  the way this platform works if you do not ping someone like I just did you the odds are slim that you will realize some one responded or made a comment... I go to my posts and look at the activity so I can see who commented... On a side note the more you comment on other peoples post the higher likelihood they will comment on your post hence we have interaction, Endre

Jun 22, 2022 11:05 PM
Philip A. Raices

Thanks Endre for that info, as I do the best I can with the limited time that we have as with  grandchildren and enjoying my life and business, the balance is always challenging for in the long run, my test for everyone is:  $$$$$ + = one word that the majority of the world's population will never experience mainly due to themselves and less to do with outside influences, distractions or discrimination.  I always provide 3 guesses, so take your time and let me know your answers.

Jun 23, 2022 04:51 AM