You Say You Want Better Quality of Life
But what does that really mean?
Usually after a very busy spring, I start to get the calls:
Denise, I am so burned out! I don’t even want to get out of bed tomorrow!
Denise, I need to have a week where I don’t have to talk to anyone!
Denise, that’s it! I can’t do real estate anymore. I am just so out of balance!
Most real estate agents I know work like this. They get a mountain of business, then they burn out and don’t talk with anyone. Then after a few weeks of not talking to anyone, they start to panic about their lack of business and rev back up again.
We all know this amount of stress isn’t healthy, but you can’t just flip a switch and change the way you approach business and your life. Most of you who identify with what I just said would be miserable at a 9-5 desk job, so the key is to make small adjustments and be mindful of your quality of life before you get too far out of balance.
How do you establish good quality of life habits? I have a three-step process for that!
STEP ONE: DEFINE YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE
I want you to think about this step in three separate categories:
- What do you need to recharge your batteries?
- What do you enjoy in your life?
- What do you need in terms of your time off?
Let’s take a closer look at each of these questions:
What do you need to recharge your batteries?
Some people need time each week in which they can catch up and don’t have to talk with anyone. Others need to work out four times a week or spend time in nature. Others really need to watch their sleep. Someone else may need to curl up with a book and a cup of tea. I want you to really think about the small activities that replenish your soul and make you a more-pleasant person to be around.
Remember, when we get tired and burned out, it takes longer for us to complete activities and we can’t problem-solve as well. We miss details, are worse drivers, and are short with our family members. Ironically, when agents get too busy, they cancel these types of activities because they don’t have time. However, these are the last activities that should be cancelled!
What do you enjoy in your life?
Time spent with family and friends? Golf or pickleball? Gardening? Reading? Many burned-out agents I talk to have forgotten what they enjoy! Give this some thought and jot down the things that you really enjoy in your life.
What do you need in terms of your time off?
Some agents are happy just getting in the car, going somewhere else, and working remotely while others need to completely unplug. What are your vacation expectations? Are you okay with partially-on and totally-off vacations? Some are, some aren’t.
STEP TWO: QUANTIFY
Now that you have your lists, it is time to quantify each and make some rules. The key here is to be realistic. Don’t take a day off per week if you can’t hold yourself to it. Here are some examples:
- Dinner with best friend once per month
- Sunday mornings - breakfast, coffee, and the paper
- Nature walks - Sunday and Wednesday night
- Date night twice a month
- Morning of Power - Wednesday mornings
- Weekend away - once every quarter
- Annual vacation - NO WORK!
Now that you have your list, the corresponding events need to go on your calendar. If you involve other people, work with them to get as many of those dates on the calendar and booked. Make reservations, schedule hotels and flights – you are much less likely to cancel those than you are a placeholder. If you are doing a nature walk or hike, plan where you are going. Visualizing the event will also make it less-likely for you to cancel if you get busy.
Let’s talk a minute about Hour of Power. This is what I call that golden time in which you are free of distractions to get stuff done. What I like to do is create an event in my calendar, and when I think of things I need to get done during that time, I can just open my calendar and add a note. That way, I can better-visualize my productivity during that time and because I have added value to the event, and there would be consequences for not getting those things done (those items would still be undone the following week) were I to cancel.
STEP THREE: DEFEND
Now that the items are on your calendar, it is up to you to make sure that you book your appointments and work around them. If you tend to let your clients dictate your schedule, this may be tough at first.
In the example above, this person needs to have a relaxing Sunday morning at the house, having a nice breakfast, coffee, and reading the paper. That might mean that person is not available until 11:00 am on a Sunday morning and they aren’t available after 5:00 because they need that nature walk to recharge. That still leaves six hours on a Sunday which you may decide you are available.
But here is where we run into trouble:
Buyer on a Friday: “Wow! There are ten new listings that came on yesterday and today with offer review dates Monday afternoon. I know we can’t look at all ten today, but can we look at some today and some on Sunday late afternoon? We have to go out of town Saturday and won’t be back until Sunday around 4:00.”
What do you do? Many agents would accommodate their schedule and skip the nature walk.
But what if that nature walk was as important to your health as taking prescribed medication or having a mammogram?
There is a health cost and a business cost to not taking the time you need to be healthy and stay in balance. The risk may not be as apparent as, say, driving 100 mph or smoking two packs of cigarettes per day, but what if by not taking that walk and working instead, you were too tired to help your son with his Sunday night homework? What if you weren’t as sharp the next day when writing an offer and your buyers suffered as a result? What if skipping that walk on Sunday made you more prone to injuries the following Wednesday during your walk? Those are the hidden consequences of not taking care of yourself physically and spiritually.
In my Zebra Report next week, I am going to share tips for making time for the things that will bring you in balance, but this week I really want you to work on adding a few events to your schedule that YOU need and DEFENDING those by SAYING NO, gracefully. Your body and soul need a break!

All this month, we are talking about creating business balance in Club Zebra!
Member benefits include:
- Denise Live every Tuesday morning at 9:00 am -
- Market Survival Guide first and third Tuesdays at Noon -
- Full access to loads of Technology and Business-Building tools in the Vault -
- Articles for your clients and infographics to post on social media -

By Denise Lones CSP, M.I.R.M., CDEI - The founding partner of The Lones Group, Denise Lones, brings nearly three decades of experience in the real estate industry. With agent/broker coaching, expertise in branding, lead generation, strategic marketing, business analysis, new home project planning, product development, Denise is nationally recognized as the source for all things real estate. With a passion for improvement, Denise has helped thousands of real estate agents, brokers, and managers build their business to unprecedented levels of success, while helping them maintain balance and quality of life.

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