Wait, Are You Sure??????

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Casual Uncluttering LLC

"Wait, Are You Sure??????" The words didn't come out of my mouth, but they were clear in my head, loud, strong, urgent and mournful. My son was doing a pass clearing his room, and the most prominent item in his "Donate" box was the set of huge, solid, magnificent wooden blocks that were the first toy I bought him for our new apartment after my divorce. They were waiting for him when we moved in, maybe even before I was able to show him the place - it's so long ago I don't remember. I do remember playing with him with them, building railroad bridges and highway tunnels and the biggest dominoes chains EVER.

 

I think he saw my sorrow, just a second, even though I tried to hide it. He hesitated, then kept going. And I didn't say anything: second-guessing someone else's decisions about their things is intensely disrespectful and destructive. And they WERE his things: gifts belong to the giftee, not the giver, and are the giftee's to do with as s/he/they will. And we got them to one of our favorite charities, Bella's Voice of Lynnwood, WA which raises funds for animal shelters.

 

But I wish...

Comments (13)

Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Lauren- I'll bet many have had a similar experience. We have to respect the decisions/wishes of those we love even if that means taking a back seat. 

Jun 26, 2022 06:32 PM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Kathy Streib True. Lauren

Jun 27, 2022 08:26 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Lauren,

I know that must have been gut wrenching but you made the wise decision. Its important  to respect the decisions/wishes of those we love as well as colleagues and friends. We can't second guess what they make decisions on.

Jun 27, 2022 04:28 AM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Dorie Dillard Austin TX Thank you for the compliment. Lauren

Jun 27, 2022 08:27 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

Hi Lauren,

Your gift to your son was precious at the time. Now those blocks can be precious to another child. That's even better than letting them sit in a box unused, isn't it? Your gift lives on.

Jun 30, 2022 10:21 AM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Carol Williams Yes, very very very true! Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:35 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Jul 02, 2022 06:21 PM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Kathy Streib Aaawwww, thank you! Every time, the honor is thrilling. Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:35 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Lauren. I live by the motto: "one man's treasures are another man's junk!". And it is not easy at times as you know! Enjoy your day.

Jul 03, 2022 04:48 AM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Wayne Martin The rock-solid foundation of my work is that motto. Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:36 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

You are right that gifts belong to the giftee but it is a bit sad when something the gifter thinks is a keeper gets thrown out!

Enjoy your day!

Jul 03, 2022 04:59 AM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Kat Palmiotti Organizers have to teach our clients that truth quite often. Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:37 AM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Laura and I have to agree with Wayne Martin on his comment.  Make it a great 4th!

 

Jul 03, 2022 06:48 AM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Will Hamm That truth is timeless! Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:38 AM
Mimi Foster
Falcon Property Company - Colorado Springs, CO
Voted Colorado Springs Best Realtor

OH, my goodness. I so admire your restraint. I would have said something and THEN encouraged them to continue with their disposal of the item. I have gotten to a place of taking pictures of cherished items I no longer need (photos don't take up any room) and then blessing someone else with the items. Good for you! And good for you for recognizing the need to let go. (But the mother in me says he'll be sorry when he has his own kids . . . JUST KIDDING!)

Jul 03, 2022 09:03 AM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Mimi Foster Uh huh, taking photos as a symbol of the stuff is a time-honored tactic for letting go. I'll also encourage someone to keep one piece of something rather than the whole set - so the china teacup that's missing its saucer, or the sugar bowl without the lid... Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:39 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Lauren - I can certainly relate to that.  I would be hard for me if it involved my child.

Jul 03, 2022 01:34 PM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Grant Schneider Family items are sometimes the worst challenges! Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:40 AM
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Very emotional story.  I had blocks through jr. high and loved piling them as high as possible on a terrazzo floor.  Thanks.

Jul 03, 2022 04:12 PM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

John Henry, Florida Architect The blocks brought up wonderful memories for me. I'm not even slightly surprised a world-class architect loved blocks. Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:41 AM
Thomas J. Nelson, REALTOR ® e-Pro CRS RCS-D Vets
Big Block Realty 858.232.8722 - La Jolla, CA
& Host of Postcards From Success Podcast

Leadership and parenthood are similar experiences, you have to trust your team and your kids; we trained them, so they are a reflection of us!

Jul 04, 2022 08:40 AM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Thomas J. Nelson, REALTOR ® e-Pro CRS RCS-D Vets Yes!!!!!!! Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:42 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Lauren:

You made the right and wise decision. I think we have to try to respect the decisions others make. Certainly there could be times when speaking up IS the right thing to do, and depending on the individual and situation.

Jeff

Jul 04, 2022 04:03 PM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Jeff Dowler, CRS If we don't let other people have their choices, how do they learn to understand themselves? Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:42 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good evening Lauren,

I read and commented on your post last week but so glad that Kathy Streib featured it in her "Ah-ha" moments for the week. We do have to respect decisions other's make. Good for you for recognizing the need to let go.

Jul 05, 2022 04:13 PM
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVPO

Dorie Dillard Austin TX I just saw seconds ago that Kathy plucked me out of obscurity. I'm honored. Lauren

Jul 11, 2022 08:43 AM