Wow, I must be a narcissist!

Real Estate Agent with Progressive Realty (Boise Idaho) DB-17066

I have always taken pride in that I thought I had an open mind and that my life wasn't centered around myself. Don't get me wrong, I am very proud of who I am and what I have become, but I am not the center of the universe. The world doesn't, and shouldn't revolve around me!

I used to have goals of owning a large commercial building and seeing my name on it, but I never wrote down that goal or set in place a plan to achieve it, so it was really just a pipe dream.

However, I just learned that my wife's cousin has his name displayed prominently at Boise State University at the Richard Rapp Resource Room.

This got me thinking about that previous goal of mine that I currently have failed to achieve.  I don't have resources to buy a large commercial building so that goal may go forever unmet by me.  I wonder what have I done or plan to do for my community to have someone think they should memorialize my contributions.  So far, nothing comes to mind.  I need to up my game!

Then I realized I do have a monument to my name!

However, I am the one that designed and paid for this monument.  Therefore, I must be a narcissist. But hey, I am learning.  I planned ahead and wrote down a plan for my future which I guarantee I will ultimately achieve!

Comments (10)

Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ

Jim you are narcissist?  Not a chance!  You do so much for your family, community and the real estate community at large. And you built the beautiful monument in honor of your wife - that speaks volumes.  I do know a real narcissist or two which I haven't seen in many years and have zero desire to do so.

Jul 02, 2022 10:40 AM
Jim Paulson

Thanks Anna Banana Kruchten CRS, Phoenix Broker 

I never thought of myself as a narcissist until I realized I had a created a monument to myself.  Ok, it was really for my wife, but it makes a better story this way.

Jul 02, 2022 04:28 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

LOL better story or not.....enjoy state of mind!!

Jul 02, 2022 04:46 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Jim- cute post and wasn't sure where you were going with this. I remember your monument!  I have had (still do) many narcissists in my life and have learned to ignore or stay away from them. They drain the heck out of you. 

Jul 02, 2022 12:30 PM
Jim Paulson

Kathy Streib I can't even keep track of where I am going with my own thoughts some times.  Are you suggesting that I should have put a "squirrel" on my side instead of the dolphin.  One of my son's told me I don't have A.D.D.; he says I have a severe case of A.D.D.O.S. . . . Attention Deficit Disorder Oh Squirrel.

Jul 02, 2022 04:32 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

I do not know you well enough to know if you are a narcissist ... my sense is you are not.

As others have commented, I know of too many narcissists and keep myself as far away from them as I possibly can. 

Energy Vampires! 

Jul 02, 2022 03:05 PM
Jim Paulson

You should trust your senses Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist 

I am pretty sure of all the true narcissists that I know, not a one thinks they are.  The fact I joke about being one, might indicate I am not.

Jul 02, 2022 04:34 PM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Having such a monument with your name on it does not make you a narcissist!

And same as other comments, I know a narcissist or two and they don't seem to know they are one. And I stay away. Too draining.

Jul 03, 2022 04:54 AM
Jim Paulson

One of the very first real estate motivational speakers I recall listening to was Dr. Vincet Kituku.  He has a great story called "The Dash".  Essentially we can't control the day we are born, and typically can't control the day we die.  However, what we can control is what lies between - the Dash. He as going to recite that very story at my wife's memorial but unfortunately, due to Covid-19, we had to cancel her original service. A year and a half later, when things settled down a bit, I held an outdoor concert for her instead.

Jul 06, 2022 01:39 PM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

When I was a kid I had lofty dreams but as I get older my dreams revolve more around helping others.

Jul 03, 2022 05:19 AM
Jim Paulson

Brian England I respect you for you that!  I find myself doing the same, especially this year as the 2022 President of Wish Granters, Inc. - a local non-profit.

Jul 06, 2022 01:41 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Hi Jim... what a clever post. I've let go of "dreams" I might have had when I was young... and I'm okay with that. They were replaced with new "dreams" and accomplishments and for me it's enough that I know that.

Jul 03, 2022 06:27 AM
Jim Paulson

Nina Hollander, Broker goals and dreams are meant to be revisited and revised.  Garth Brooks had a hit song "(some of God's greatest gifts are) Unanswered Prayers".

Jul 06, 2022 01:44 PM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Jim,
I love your "monument".  I perceive it as a testament to the relationship that you and your wife shared, the family you created, and all the people you've helped together and as individuals. I find nothing narcissistic about it!  Carry on... 

Jul 03, 2022 08:00 AM
Jim Paulson

Thanks Carol Williams.  This monument was perfect on many levels. 1)  It is a replica of her favorite lighthouse which just happens to be in Florida where our oldest son and his family lives; 2)  It is above a park where our kids used to play Opitmist Football; 3)  It is carved out of a quarry above Boise where my wife would love to hike up to the cross overlooking Boise to pray.  If that is my only monument of my life, it is a win!

Jul 06, 2022 01:48 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Monday morning, Jim. Your post is a good reminder for all of us to focus on our goals. 


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Jul 04, 2022 05:38 AM
Jim Paulson

Thanks Roy Kelley I hope the second half of the year is great for you!

Jul 06, 2022 01:49 PM
Dorte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Jim,

Who died so young? I hope, it was not early Covid.

Jul 04, 2022 07:42 AM
Jim Paulson

Dorte Engel even though she was young, my wife was previously CURED of Stage IV cancer before developing two simultaneous Stage IV uterine cancers.  She outlasted both her oncologists' projections as well, so we were blessed.  It gave us a chance to check things off her bucket list, add more, and then check them off as well.

Jul 06, 2022 01:53 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Jim I missed this post of yours, so with that said my parents' ashes are in the Blue Danube in Hungary.... I told Diane my ashes need to be in the Pacific Ocean, so with that said am I narcissistic? Well if people think that Oh well it will not make a difference I will be who I am, Endre

Jul 10, 2022 10:41 PM
Jim Paulson

The fact you don't want a monument for yourself, proves you are NOT a narcissist.

Jul 11, 2022 07:18 PM