A marketing idea based on "Fifty first dates"

Mortgage and Lending with Citizens First Financial


 Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler

Where you one of the people who just thought this was a GREAT MOVIE???  Does looking at the cover just make you laugh inside as you recall some of the scenes?  You may want to rent it and watch it again because it contains a great marketing strategy!!

I recently ran across an article on the internet that actually contained better substance than the original Hook Title.   I'm going to share it along with the website, but first a quick story behind it all.

My 21 year old son recently left a job after just a couple of months selling a web based package - it was all commission sales, and he is great at selling.  After the first two week honeymoon period, he was calling me saying, "Mom, we spend all of our time telling retired people how miserable they are and how they will fail financially."   

I kept telling him to make people feel good, and then sell to them.  Add to their success as opposed to throwing them a lifeline just before they sink!  But he COULDN"T DO THAT,  BECAUSE IT WASN"T IN THE SCRIPT!!!   As the weeks went on,  he was just so miserable, that the misery he was iimposing upon his clients was leaving its gloom cast upon him, too.  Misery, guilt, failure, hmmm do you see the pattern? 

He comes from a long line of positive thinkers - 80 years ago, his preacher grandpa was telling everybody about something called "ABUNDANT LIFE."  So, my son acted upon his gut feel and broke loose from this "Lets cause our customers extreme misery" program. 

I found this particular article on the Internet and I suggest you check it out - Its by Dr Joe Vitale, one of the authors of "The Secret". 

                                    The Greatest Motivator Isn't What You Think-

                       What I Learned From Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler on Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day as I write this. Nerissa and I just returned from watching the new movie, "50 First Dates," starting the beautiful Drew Barrymore and the funny Adam Sandler. Besides being a hilarious movie in a beautiful setting with a heartfelt message of true love, it also caused me to have an "a-ha" right in the middle of it.

Somewhere around half way through the movie, as Adam is again reminding short-term memory loss victim Drew that he loves her, I suddenly realized the power of the greatest motivator of all time.

But let me first set the stage.

Most psychologists, direct marketers, and anyone who persuades for a living will tell you there are only two basic motivators: Pain or Pleasure. You either go toward what you want or away from what you don't want.

The standard argument is that pain is more powerful. I've tended to agree, but also stated I would not focus on pain for idealistic reasons. I simply don't want to spread pain in the world. Focusing on it causes you to feel it. I don't want to contribute to the misery many feel. So my stance has been to focus on pleasure as a motivator in my sales letters and websites.

Most marketing experts agree that pain is the best trigger to focus on in any ad or sales campaign. They love to find a prospect's basic problem, and then rub their noses in it. They figure the pain would make the person buy or change.

The most common example they give is the insurance salesman who tries to sell you home coverage. If he focuses on pleasure, you will put off buying. If he tells you your house is on fire, you will buy. Pain causes immediate action.

So, like everyone else, I "knew" pain was the greater motivator. I simply focused on pleasure because it is a more noble route.

But then I saw Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler in their new movie and suddenly I felt awakened, energized, and validated.

Here's the film's plot in a nutshell:

Adam is in love with a woman who can't remember anything from the day before, due to a head injury in an auto accident the year before. Every day is a new day. And every day Adam has to win her over again. Every date is new. Hence the title, "50 First Dates."

At one point in it, as Adam was again wooing Drew, I suddenly realized what I was really seeing.

I saw pleasure was the greatest motivator of all.

Adam was pursuing Drew every day, despite the pain and the odds, because of his growing love for her. He was going after pleasure. The pleasure goal was so powerful it erased every pain he might experience.

In short, all the marketing experts who say pain is the greatest motivator have forgotten the power of our driving force in life: Love.

People will scale mountains with luggage on their backs, swim upstream in a hurricane, and battle armies and all odds in order to fulfill that hard-wired emotion in us to love and be loved. Love rules.

All the examples we were given were unfair. Someone trying to sell insurance and resorting to pain hasn't figured out the real pleasure button to make someone buy. They've been too lazy to search for the pleasure trigger. Focusing on pain was simply an easy cop-out, a handy approach.

It's the same with all the massive ad campaigns that fail. Trying to get someone to quit smoking or stop drugs because of the pain they depict in the ad is the wrong approach. If we suddenly focused on the pleasure someone would have when they stopped smoking or taking drugs, we'd be moving in the right direction.

This is so obvious to me after watching the movie. Our goal as marketing and business people isn't to tell people what's wrong with them or to remind them of their pain, but to help them imagine and then experience the pleasure they long to have.

It's noble, yes, *and* it works.

Love moves everyone.

Love is the great motivator.

Love is the great pleasure trigger.

According to my friend Kevin Hogan, author of "The Psychology of Persuasion," love isn't an emotion but a mindset. And as a mindset, it is actually stronger than any emotion.

In short, you're dealing with the most powerful motivator of all time.

Reveal what there is to love about your product or service and you'll give people authentic reasons to do business with you. Call it Love-Based Marketing. You won't sell everyone with it. You'll sell only those who are a match for your offer. That, in the end, is all you want. Then you're happy and so are your customers.

Just like Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, you'll find a match to write home about.

And you might make a little money along the way, to boot.

by Dr. Joe Vitale

Comments (9)

Sarah Cooper
Real Estate Shows - Hurricane, WV

Yep, I'm an Adam Sandler fan!  Loved this, loved them all.  He's goofy and makes me laugh that's exactly what I'm looking for when I watch one of his movies.

I love that this is a positive message.  If we aren't having fun, what are we here for?  Tearing people down to sell them something is sleazy beyond words.  Shame on that company, and I don't imagine that they'll have much staying power. 

Good on you, Renee!  Thanks for spreading the joy!

Mar 14, 2007 03:21 AM
Todd Clark
eXp Realty LLC - Tigard, OR
Principle Broker Oregon

I also loved this movie. I like Adam Sandler and as my wife likes to joke. Don't lie you think Drew is hot? OK - It is true - She is HOT! (LOL) I also like the indi film "My date with drew" it shows a regular guy like me trying to get a date with Drew over a certain period of time. It was fun to watch and you really wanted him to get the date. It also says no matter how bad it seems in the end it may just work out. NEVER GIVE UP!


Mar 14, 2007 06:32 AM
Fred Carver Personal Real Estate Corporation
RE/MAX Camosun Victoria BC Real Estate - Victoria, BC
Accredited Real Estate Consultant

Hi Renee,

Sounds like your right on target, Zig Ziglar has told us this years.

Laughter is the best motivator to positive results, people like to be happy,and will stick with you as clients when you make them fell good.

I'll look up the Movie at my video store ,

Thanks for your insight and tip.

Cheers, have an awesome day!

Fred Carver



Mar 14, 2007 06:42 AM
Renee Kokoszka
Citizens First Financial - Park City, UT

Sarah and Todd:  Thanks for your comments!  Isn't it funny how some of us are big fans of Adam Sandler and the other of Drew Barrymore?     Glad you enjoyed the post!!

 Fred,  Check out the movie and get back to us - we all want to know what you think of it!! And also, thanks for the comment.

Mar 14, 2007 04:34 PM
Lola Audu
Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate - Grand Rapids, MI
Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI ~Welcome Home!

Hi Renee,

Just dropped by to say hello as I saw that you had recently joined Fraiche Aire.  I enjoyed reading this positive blog post.  Thank you.

Mar 19, 2007 01:12 PM
Sue Nelson, Broker/Associate Las Vegas Real Estate ~Team Rhino~
ERA Sunbelt Realty - Las Vegas, NV

Hi Renee,

I actually use the movie 50 First Dates in my listing presentation.  I explain the premise of the movie if they haven't seen it and basically tell them that when they hire me, it's my job to make them fall in love with us all over again every day.  Since we offer an unconditional satisfaction guarantee, they realize that we really will do all that we say we will and more.  People love the analogy. We believe in UPOD. Under Promise & Over Deliver.

Thanks for the great message.

Apr 15, 2007 04:12 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher
This is a great post and very insightful.  I didn't see the movie so I'll have to go rent it (although it's been on TV a hundred times, I'm sorry I missed it).  All about love, how true.  Thanks for sharing.
Apr 16, 2007 02:36 AM
Renee Kokoszka
Citizens First Financial - Park City, UT
Thanks Sue for your comments.  Its great to hear that you use the movie in your listing presentation.  That's the kind of realtor that I want to represent me when I choose to sell! 
Apr 24, 2007 05:31 AM
Renee Kokoszka
Citizens First Financial - Park City, UT
Carol,  Thansk for leaving a comment.  You have to watch the movie!  It will leave an indelible imprint on you in light of this article.  I can't tell you how many times, I have gotten the business for a loan, because I just showed care and concern and followed up - even when I was not in it to gain much.  Yes, I'm here for the business, but I've also got to make this business work for other people too in a way that benefits them and their situation. 
Apr 24, 2007 05:35 AM