Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

I am not going to talk about sales here but how to move or influence people. According to Dan Pink we are all in sales. I strongly recommend reading Dan Pink’s book, TO SELL IS HUMAN THE SURPRISING TRUTH ABOUT MOVING OTHERS. I have the audio version in my car.

Yes, we are all in sales no matter what our job title; be it teacher, manager, or parent because our communication needs to be a dialogue that influences others.

Here are 7 ideas that will open your current sales thinking and help you become more effective in influencing:

1. Don’t use a “pitch” but instead start a conversation.

When you call someone, avoid making a mini-presentation about yourself, your company, and what you have to offer. Start with an opening conversational phrase that focuses on a specific problem that your product or service solves

2. Your central goal is always to discover whether you and your potential client are a good fit.

Let go of trying to “close the sale” or “get the appointment.” If you simply focus your conversation on problems that you can help potential clients solve, and if you don’t jump the gun by trying to move the sales process forward, you will find that potential clients will bring you into their buying process.

3. When you lose a sale, it’s usually right at the beginning of the sales process.

When you use traditional sales language, potential clients can’t help but label you with the negative stereotype of “salesperson.” This makes it almost impossible for them to relate to you from a position of trust. And if trust isn’t established at the outset, honest communication about the problems they’re trying to solve and how you might be able to help them, becomes impossible too.

4. Sales pressure is the only cause of rejection. Rejection should never happen.

To eliminate rejection, simply shift your mind-set so that you give up the hidden agenda of hoping to make a sale. Instead, everything you say and do should stem from the basic mind-set that you are there to help potential clients.

5. Never chase a potential client—you’ll only trigger more sales pressure.

Instead of chasing potential clients, tell them that you would like to avoid anything that resembles the old cat-and-mouse chasing game by scheduling a time for your next chat.

6. When a potential client offers objections, uncover the truth behind them.

Rather than trying to counter objections, you can uncover the truth by replying, “That’s not a problem”—no matter what clients are “objecting” to—and then using gentle, dignified language that invites them to reveal the truth about their situation.

7. Never defend yourself or what you have to offer—it only creates more sales pressure.

When a potential client says, “Why should I choose you over your competition?” your first, instinctive reaction is probably to start defending your product or service because you want to convince them to buy.

Rather than defending yourself, try suggesting that you aren’t going to try to convince them of anything because that would only create sales pressure. Instead, ask them about the key problems that they are trying to solve, and then explore how your product or service might solve those problems—without ever trying to persuade. Let potential clients feel that they can choose you without feeling “sold.”

Assistant Buyer

You will find that parents, teachers, and mangers doing the same things in these 7 areas—being influencers and motivators.  For a similar post on our website see THE ART OF MOVING PEOPLE.

Are you ready to become and engager and influencer?

Contact us to learn more

Armonk NY call 914-953-4458.

South Florida call 772-342-1066.

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Armonk, NY
Port Saint Lucie, FL

(914) 953-4458

Email Me

Grant Schneider,

*Certified Business Coach,
Senior Professional in Human Resources

President, Founder
& Leadership Coach

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Comments (23)

Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Grant, people who start hard selling me I ask them to stop and if they continue I hang up.... people that push scripts etc I do not follow them...Endre

Aug 14, 2022 10:34 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Hi Grant... thanks for reminding us that at the end of the day we are all sales people. The only question is how good are we at being sales people. No one likes to be pressured. I've always like the expression "people don't like being sold, but they do like buying." I always keep that in mind.

Aug 15, 2022 04:09 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Grant. Your job is to become coffee worthy in the first 5 minutes. That is after 5 minutes would your potential customer consider you someone with whom they want to have a cup of coffee and conversation? If so, bingo! If not, why not? Enjoy your day.

Aug 15, 2022 04:37 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Grant, for sharing your experience and your advice.

Aug 15, 2022 04:50 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667,, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

These are all good tips. When someone tries to "sell" me I'm outta there.

Aug 15, 2022 05:00 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

John - thank you.  I really think the old ABC is finished.

Jeff - yes, start a conversation to find that out.

Aura - I know and they won't even let you stop them from their script.

Endre - sometimes you have to hang up.  They are like robots.

Nina - indeed.  I always keep that in mind and try to take the role of assistant buyer.

Wayne - I like that.  And incidentally, my place to meet people is at Starbucks.🙂

Roy - thank you for your comments and support.

Kat - that is so old that I would not even trust someone even if I liked the product.

Aug 15, 2022 05:28 AM
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Those are great tips!  Our actions will often influence people one way or another so we always need to make sure that our actions are conveying what we want to influence.

Aug 15, 2022 05:39 AM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

Oh Grant, I can always tell when someone is using a "pitch" and know right away they have a hidden reason that benefits them!

Aug 15, 2022 06:18 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Brian - yes, focus on the client and listen.  That is a good start.

Larry and Sheila - you can read it in their voice inflection, can't you.

Aug 15, 2022 06:26 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

Yes! We are all salespeople from the moment we are born until the day we die. Children are usually trying to sell us on getting something they want. As adults, that continues with the added task of trying to sell people on needing what we have.

Aug 15, 2022 07:14 AM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, a conversation is so much nicer to start with versus your credentials or accolades.

Aug 15, 2022 09:43 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Grant if anyone doubts we are all in sales even at a very young age, just closely watch how a child will get their parents to do what they want.

Aug 15, 2022 11:58 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Carol - and a manager has to persuade employees to so something because they want to do it.


Aug 16, 2022 05:09 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Joan - that is even the way that you start a job interview.

George - yes that's right.

Aug 16, 2022 05:12 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Tuesday morning, Grant.

Have a great day and a very productive week.

Aug 16, 2022 09:04 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

Thank you for sharing these seven great suggestions to add confidence as we face clients daily 🙂

Aug 16, 2022 12:48 PM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Grant,

Great post as usual.  Sales pressure is our achilles heal.  I do everything I can to eliminate that element.  My goal is to help people, not sell them.  I do not like being sold myself, so I steer clear of that.  I ask and answer questions and steer the individual to the best alternative for them. I would rather have a happy outcome for my clients than anything else.

Aug 16, 2022 05:02 PM
Carla Freund
Keller Williams Preferred Realty - Raleigh, NC
Carolina Life RealEstate & Relocation 919-602-8489

Great points Grant! Starting with a conversation is a perfect way to begin a professional relationship. 

Aug 17, 2022 06:11 AM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, you always give us excellent advice for our business, thank you!

Aug 20, 2022 07:54 AM
Pete Xavier
Investments to Luxury - Pacific Palisades, CA
Outstanding Agent Referrals-Nationwide

I am fine being "sold" scripted or not, if what is presented is potentially good, I may bite. 

Aug 20, 2022 06:54 PM