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Random thoughts on a Saturday afternoon

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 GREC# 169695

There are those that I have conversations with outside of the pages of ActiveRain who may already know, but I am sure many of you have no idea of the thoughts I am about to share or the back story.

In 1997 I had a call from a client who was searching for a home on Lake Sinclair with an Atlanta agent who had finally said.... "those people in that MLS are crazy, but call one of them, I'm tired of dealing with them" She picked me to call. (Lucky me) Buyer agency was new and many "old school" brokers in my market at the time wanted no part of someone working for the buyer to swoop in from Atlanta and walk away with half the seller's money paid in commission when we had a hot seller's market and no trouble finding buyers at the time.

That client grew into one of the best friends and resources I've ever known.  She was an attorney.  She retired to move to the lake, but she kept her bar membership and stayed current and helped me more times than I could possibly tell you about. 

One morning last last October I got a phone call and well... my friend had passed away.  She was 71.  Her husband was 86.  For the 8 years since she had updated their wills she had said "I'm going to die, and you are going to have to take care of Bob (not his real name) because he's going to live to be 100".  I did know his parents both lived 100+ years, but I really never had believed her.  She was right, I was wrong.

Fast forward 10 months and I have cleaned out her house, donated many things, had an estate auction held for other things, listed and sold the house, got Bob settled in an assisted living situation, dealt with his kids.... one is nice, one... lies and the other is an outright asshole.  The asshole has been demanding financial documents.  He's not entitled to them.

The bulk of the assets were in her name alone and the estate is hers.  Her will specifies the money take care of Bob (who has several health issues including but not limited to dementia. A decade ago they discussed with me when he was first diagnosed that they both wanted me named as POA over finances, health care directives and executor over her will and his should she die first. 

It has been emotional, exhausting and that one kid (who is older than me) got on my last nerve and stomped for a while.  For a lot of years I sometimes would wonder if my friend's step children were as bad as she made them out to be.  I no longer wonder.  They are worse.  You text someone to tell them their father in the ER and get no questions, no response and email  asking for financial statements and threatening to seek out an attorney if I don't send them.  Yeah, so much worse.

My calming counter balance has been my family.  Family is most important to me. Weekly I have lunch with my parents, and I see them generally another one to two times during the week.  I see my grandsons 3 to 5 times a week.  My Donald is the best helper ever.  On times when I can't run and check on Bob, he does it for me.  Recently the facility called and said "he needs batteries for his glucose meter", that very day my Donald drove them there.   It's been a tough year. I am hoping for better and not more of the same.  I've lost a lot of people close to me in the past few years, but I guess that comes with age.  

But the thought I want to share with you this afternoon....

Whatever in life has happened in the past, don't let it stop you from loving your family. Make time for family and make time for yourself.  If you don't take care of you, you don't have what it takes to take care of others.

 

Now I'm going to get back to real estate.  Have a house to work up a price on for a 2 pm appointment tomorrow.  Hope to have a new listing on line on Monday. It's a fantastic view and a wonderful location.  

Posted by

706-485-9668  us on facebook

Tammy@Lake-Sinclair.com

(Click on Lane Realty Logo for web site)

Tammy Lankford, Broker/Owner

 

Broker License # 169695  Lane Realty License # H-11420

Real Estate Instructor License # 355089

Call me today for all your Lake Sinclair real estate needs.

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Comments (41)

Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Debra Leisek at this point, they are dead to me until the time I probate their father's estate and I certainly hope the money is all spent on his care before that happens.

Kris Collis, Associate Broker it felt therapeutic to write about what's been happening the last 10 months. I still miss. her.  Another mutual friend and I talk from time to time.  I talked to my friend nearly daily.

Aug 28, 2022 05:53 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Kat Palmiotti for many years once a month we had lunch at our house or their house.  I learned a lot about food because she and I constantly tried in a friendly competitive way to "one up" each other for lunch.  We would then spend the afternoon playing cards.  I had missed when he no longer could play, but we'd continued to do lunch... not every month, but often.

Grant Schneider life is busy, but you have to make time for family.  You can't get back any time that has passed.

Aug 28, 2022 05:59 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Wayne Martin your thoughts give me comfort that she really did know.

Dorie Dillard Austin TX so many of our friends who ask about Bob always say she told them she knew she could trust me.

Aug 28, 2022 06:01 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Ed Silva thank you, I plan to live up that trust every day.

Brian England thanks.  I am a busy lady, but I just keep getting it done.

 

Aug 28, 2022 06:04 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Leanne Smith I try to live up to her trust daily

Dr. Paula McDonald I was certainly blessed by her in my life as well.

Aug 28, 2022 06:07 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Wow Tammy!  You have a lot on your plate.  That woman sure knew who to rely on and unfortunately, it's you.  You are such a good person to help him and thankfully Donald is a wonderful supporter.  Great advice for anyone, and even better at this stage of life.  Mend fences, make things right, and treat people how you would want to be treated.  

Aug 28, 2022 06:32 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ I do hope it shines as an example to my children and grandchildren of doing the right thing not the easy thing.

Aug 28, 2022 06:37 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Very good example Tammy Lankford, !  You'll be remembered for your special contributions to others!

Aug 28, 2022 06:54 PM
Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty
Front Gate Real Estate - Brandon, MS
601-991-2900 Office; 601-278-4513 Cell

We will do whatever it takes for our best friends, and your friend was very fortunate to have found you, and vice versa. You have been a blessing in honoring your friends' final wishes, taking care of the estate and her husband, getting him settled in, etc. I'm sorry you've had to stand up to bully step-children, but good for you in doing so.

Aug 29, 2022 06:28 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Tammy,

You will be rewarded for what you are doing.  The Universe always seems to work things out.  

Aug 29, 2022 02:14 PM
Wendy Rich-Soto, Realtor/Broker Associate
Keller Williams Realty, LA Harbor - San Pedro, CA
Getting you to your next with a zero failure rate!

I love those Hydrangeas at the top of the post.  I wish you the best of everything with your challenges and your blessings!  Best,  Wendy

Aug 29, 2022 08:18 PM
Vickie Teel
RE/MAX PALM REALTY - Port Charlotte, FL
Sharing Florida sunshine one homeowner at a time!

What a good human you are.  I’m so sorry you lost your friend.  Bless you for taking on that responsibility of taking care of her husband and dealing with those grown children.  I work with a lot of seniors and a lot of them call them their mercenary children.  It’s wonderful that you have your family support

Aug 30, 2022 04:17 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Tammy,
Oh My Gosh... your take-a-way message cannot be stressed enough. I know it's been a burden (of love), but your friend was certainly wise to appoint you as the POA/Executor, etc over her legal affairs. I can only imagine the mess if she'd trusted one of the kids.

I'm in the process of re-doing my estate plan and it's going to involve appointing an outside party to deal with the legal aspects. I've seen what happens within families when one of the kids is in charge. It's heartbreaking.

I do pray it is all settled soon, and Bob continues to get the love and care he needs. ❤️

 

 

Aug 30, 2022 06:03 AM
Dorte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Tammy,

Thank you for being a true friend. In my book, friendship does not end when one person dies or gets sick. This may be hard for you right now, but I am glad you have support in your own family to help with this heavy burden. Lucky Bob to have you around.

Aug 30, 2022 06:45 AM
Joan Valverde
HomeSmart - Colorado Springs, CO
GRI,CDPE,CNE,MRP,SRES Colo Sprgs, Blk Forest, Monu

Hello Tammy,

 

Wow you are a great friend.  In our field of work, we never know who we are going to meet along the way, and the life lessons learned.  I battled cancer last year along with a friend of mine.... her cancer was terminal, she passed this last February, she had told me that she wanted me to meet her siblings and sell her house when she passed.  A job I did, proudly for her, yet hated having that listing!  because a great lady passed away.  Thankfully it was a smooth process.  I believe God puts us in the path of those that need us, and those we need!  Keep checking on Bob and loving your family!

Blessings to you. 

Sep 02, 2022 09:42 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

I hope all is going well for you, Tammy.

Have a productive September.

Sep 17, 2022 01:34 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Joan Valverde yes, I too had two clients as buyers back in the 90s that both became family friends.  When each of them passed their siblings had heard enough about me to seek me out to sell those homes.  An honor and a very dreaded thing all at the same time. Sometimes out job is pretty tough.

Sep 18, 2022 10:35 AM
Emily Medvec
eXp Realty LLC - Santa Fe, NM
Broker | Realtor | Serving Santa Fe & Northern NM

Tammy Lankford, your random Saturday thoughts found me this morning (Tuesday) to remind me of how unconditional giving changes lives. And nothing stopped you even after the loss of a dear friend. You inspire me so thank you!

Oct 11, 2022 08:37 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Emily Medvec some days it's really hard, others are easy.  A few months ago I cracked a bone in my foot when I feel helping Bob get out of the car into the dentist.... But he didn't fall.  But again, my family keeps it all balanced.  My grandsons bring me huge amounts of joy no matter what else life throws at me.

Oct 11, 2022 11:12 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Oh, Tammy, you are a saint. How very fortunate you were there for your friend. I worry what would happen to 'Bob' otherwise. You've shared this story with me but, not everything about the children. How very sad that they don't care about his condition but, they do care about his bank account. I hope he uses up every last red cent at the retirement facility.

Sending you BIG hugs, my friend! 

OH and you wrote this on my birthday...and I'm just now seeing it!

Oct 21, 2022 07:40 PM