Everything you learned in kindergarten…

Services for Real Estate Pros with Marte Cliff Copywriting

Someone wrote a book saying that everything that was important to know we learned in kindergarten. The book was mostly about having good manners, such as saying please and thank you, as I recall. So of course he and all of us should have learned it long before kindergarten, but that's irrelevant.

 I'm just thinking about people and good manners and how important they are.

Last week someone who purchased some of my prospecting letters wrote and said that the download link had expired and would I send a new one. So I wrote back and said yes, "I'll get that done right away." And then I did.

A couple of days went by and I wondered whether that person had received the new link. Most people do write and say “Thank you, got it.” So I wrote to this gentleman and asked “Did you get your download link?” I have had no response whatsoever.

Why are people that rude? I didn't have to send him a new link. After all, when they get the download link, customers do get a message saying that the link will expire within so many days or after so many downloads. So I think they should know they need to save the letters to a file.

If you ask a favor, and someone does that favor, isn't it natural to just say thanks? And if you're waiting for someone to send you documents or other information, isn't it normal when you get it to write back and say “Thanks got it?”

 It seems like it to me.

Saying words like please and thank you is so easy that I just cannot understand why not everyone does it.

So that's my rant for today.

I hope everybody you've run into today said please and thank you! 




Comments (11)

Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Marte- you're looking at someone who says "excuse me" to inanimate objects, so yes, I do wonder why some people are so thoughtless that they cannot remember these common courtesies. 

Jan 14, 2023 05:42 PM
Michael Jacobs

Kathy Streib - I have done the same and continue to do so.  Even when some look askance in my direction.  

Jan 15, 2023 03:26 AM
Marte Cliff

Kathy - and I always apologize to my dogs if I step on their feet!

Jan 16, 2023 05:48 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Marte, I think that is the hardest part of this profession, the lack of courtesy.

Jan 14, 2023 06:00 PM
Marte Cliff

Joan - It's crazy. It takes perhaps 5 seconds to reply to an email with a 2 or 3 word message.

I'm sure you deal with much more - such as people failing to return calls.

Jan 16, 2023 05:49 PM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

Hi Marte,
Common courtesy isn't all that common anymore, is it?

Jan 14, 2023 06:02 PM
Marte Cliff

It is not, Carol. As a result, when I get an inquiry from someone who needs an agent bio and they write back to say they want it but can't afford it, I write them back. It's usually a new agent, and I tell them that I know they will do well, because they practice common courtesy.

Jan 16, 2023 05:51 PM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

we all need to say please and thank you - and occasionally break up the day with- you are wonderful! 

Jan 14, 2023 09:07 PM
Marte Cliff

Yes, Lise. It's fun to see the look on a face or hear the tone in a voice on the phone when you pay a simple compliment.

Jan 16, 2023 05:52 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

It drives me crazy how we lost a lot of manners like please and thank you... just like when you drive how hard is it to put your signal light on if you are turning right or left....Endre

Jan 14, 2023 10:32 PM
Anna Banana Kruchten Phoenix Broker

Endre Barath, Jr. that's my rant - see comment below.  I can't believe how fast drivers are these days - 20 to 30 over speed limit, weaving in and out of lanes (with no signals. What I don't get is why are there no police stopping them all. We didn't defund the police here!

Jan 15, 2023 10:51 AM
Marte Cliff

Endre - We don't have enough traffic here to notice that real often, but our son is working in California right now, and it annoys the heck out of him! And of course, we DO notice it if we go to one of the nearby cities. Rude, rude, rude!

Jan 16, 2023 05:54 PM
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

It seems that common courtesy falls by the wayside these days and it is sad.  People only speak up to complain rather than compliment.  I find it important to let people know that something has been received.

Jan 15, 2023 03:53 AM
Marte Cliff

I do too, Brian. Email doesn't always get where it is supposed to go, so we want to know.

Several years ago someone wrote me asking if I could do some writing for him. I replied that I'd be happy to do so, and asked him to tell me more. When I didn't hear from him for a few days, I picked up the phone and learned that we had both been waiting for the other to reply. I wrote for that man for several years after that, but if I hadn't called, it wouldn't have happened.

Jan 16, 2023 05:57 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Marte. Well put. Please and thank you have seemingly gone away in the current entitlement world! Such a shame. Enjoy your day.

Jan 15, 2023 05:15 AM
Marte Cliff

Thanks Wayne, and I hope you are enjoying your days as well.

Jan 16, 2023 05:58 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Good morning, Marte... I never attended Kindergarten as I was kicked out of several nursery schools. My mother didn't have the nerve to put me into Kindergarten. But I do like to think despite my failure at pre-school, good manners were nonetheless instilled in me. All that being said, I often shake my head as to people's lack of manners and courtesy.

Jan 15, 2023 06:14 AM
Marte Cliff

Nina - I believe people like us were taught manners at home.

Jan 16, 2023 06:00 PM
Ray Henson
eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277) - Elk Grove, CA

Good manners are always in style and a thank you is always appreciated.  Thank you for your thought provoking rant for the day.  😃

Jan 15, 2023 08:10 AM
Marte Cliff

You are most welcome, Ray. With that customer, I'd have been satisfied with a simple "Got it," if a thank you was too much to ask for.

Jan 16, 2023 06:01 PM
Anna Banana Kruchten Phoenix Broker
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ

For the most part I find people are respectful and kind. When they're not I honestly don't care as maybe they're having a really bad day or whatever. What I'm not appreciating these days as the rude and crazy drivers.....hard to believe they're allowed to drive so crazy these days.

Jan 15, 2023 10:49 AM
Marte Cliff

Yes, Anna Banana. Most people are good. It's the stinkers that stand out!

As for the drivers, you have to wonder why they don't cause more wrecks.

Jan 16, 2023 06:02 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

It is amazing some of the rudeness I experience but have to say on the whole most people use their manners and are respectful. as you said the stinkers do stand out!

Jan 24, 2023 04:15 PM