The more you giggle the fewer face wrinkles you have when you get old

Home Builder with Long Island Cash Home Buyer

1. I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. He asked which three were interested, I said the gas, electric, and cable.

 2. Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

3. I try to be a nice, person but sometimes my mouth doesn't want to cooperate!!!

4. Never laugh at your wife's choices... You are one of them.

5. Everyone has the right to be stupid. It's just that some people abuse the privilege.

 6. There should be an app so you can delete your number from other people's phones.

 7. Just once I would like to read a medication label that says: WARNING... may cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles and increase energy.

8. Most women are afraid of clowns but somehow still end up dating one!

9. Of course women don't work as hard as men... They get it right the first time.

 10. Home is the only place you can say anything you want because no one is listening to you anyway.

11. I spent my entire childhood wishing I was older now I'm older... and it sucks...

Comments (5)

faye schubert
Retired - Branson, MO
Living the Branson Lake Life

Home is the only place you can say anything you want because no one is listening to you anyway.

It used to be that way before phones, Alexa, etc. Now EVERYTHING is listening.

Mar 09, 2023 07:53 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
Selling Homes Changing Lives

What a beautiful baby! Babies make me smile! They are precious!

Mar 09, 2023 08:12 AM
Beth and Richard Witt

That is my grandson... we just celebrated his 12th birthday and he still makes me smile and always brings joy to my heart 

Mar 16, 2023 07:56 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Beth and Richard Witt - what a blessing a grandchild brings to gransparents and the entire family! 

They grow up so fast and we enjoy living vicariously through them all the time! I can only image how handsome he is today and how much joy fills your hearts. 

Mar 16, 2023 08:27 AM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

omg - some gems in this posts, thank you for sharing. My favorites have got to be #1 and #10!

Mar 09, 2023 10:05 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Beth,

These all are priceless!! My favorites are #5 and #9!! Hilarious!!

Mar 09, 2023 11:32 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Good morning, Beth.... these are genius. Can't remember laughing so hard in a long time.

Mar 10, 2023 06:04 AM