Are You Really Asking Me That!!!

Mortgage and Lending with George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages NMLS #65149

This month Patricia Feager and Kathleen Daniels are hosting the March challenge titled  "March to a Solution | ActiveRain March 2023 Challenge"  Patricia and Kathleen are asking us to share issues we have encountered during our professional career in Real Estate, which may help others to avoid and hopefully resolve. 

My first submission into this challenge was "Easy-Peasy, Wrong!!! which was about a Borrower who made what should have been an easy loan very difficult. The second entry was about "Stupid Things Sellers Do That Cause Mortgage Loans To Fall Apart".  This third and final submission is about a Borrower who almost left me speechless.

It Is Amazing The Questions We Are Asked.  The other day a Borrower I had given a pre-approval letter to about 6 months ago called me.  I had worked with this Borrower for over a year to help him fix the credit mess he had gotten himself into.  It took that long to be able to provide a pre-approved for a home in the price range he was looking to purchase in.  The reason for his call was to asked me if he could use the same pre-approval letter I had given him, for another Lender he now wanted to use to do his mortgage instead of me. 

Very few things leave me speechless, but this one almost did.  I believe the term for this Borrower is that he has "Big Ones" for asking a question like this. 

  • First what would make him think a pre-approval letter would still be good 6 months later? 
  • Second, why would he think I would feel it was OK for him to go to another lender after all the time I spent to help him fix the credit mess he had gotten himself into? 
  • Third a lender who would accept another lenders pre-approval letter, and not pre-approve the Borrower themselves, is a lender you need to runaway from very quickly.

I could not imagine calling a competitor, and asking them anything similar to this question. I wanted to tell him to go pound sand, but I took a deep breath and said no.  After 6 months we would need to look at everything again to make sure nothing had changed.  I wished him well with the new lender, and hoped he was successful in purchasing a home.

After the call I just shook my head.  This guy not only asked this question, he did not see anything wrong asking it.  It Is Amazing The Questions We Are Asked in this business.

The lesson to be learned here, is expect the unexpected.  You may have heard "there is no such thing as a stupid question", but my experience has been when it comes to this business there are lots of stupid questions.  Don't be caught off guard when the stupid question is asked.  Be a professional and do not over react.  No deal is worth losing you your reputation by over reacting and giving a knee jerk response.



Posted by

George Souto
NMLS# 65149

C (860) 573-1308
CALL 7 Days/Wk
Fax (860) 760-6891

Email Me
About Me
My Blog

I am a Mortgage Loan Officer who can assist you with all your mortgage & refinancing needs in
CT, RI, MA, NH, and a FL Licensed Lender

I can assist you with your Conventional,
FHA, CHFA, VA, USDA, & 203K loan programs.

I reside in Middlesex County which includes Middletown, Middlefield, Durham, Cromwell, Portland, Haddam. E. Haddam, Higganum, Chester, Essex, Deep River.


Comments (26)

Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Maybe this idiot thinks you are paid by the Mortgage Lender gods. I used to say that judging from their behavior, that's what many would-be real estate clients thought.

Mar 21, 2023 07:35 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

George my friend I just had a conversation with Diane about lack of class, lack of intelligence and lack of a lot of things and this goes across the board from people who graduated from HS to the top of colleges....  Endre

Mar 21, 2023 09:22 PM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

What the heck George? Did I read this right? Just when you think you've heard it all, another stupid individual can leave you speechless. No class at all!

Mar 22, 2023 01:02 AM
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

The nerve of some people makes me laugh and I sometimes have a very hard time not laughing right in their faces, haha.

Mar 22, 2023 03:58 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667,, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

It boggles my mind how some people have no concern for others. Geez

Mar 22, 2023 05:06 AM
faye schubert
Retired - Branson, MO
Living the Branson Lake Life

THAT is what is going wrong with today's thinking. Commitments don't matter any more, it's just words and their signature means nothing.

Mar 22, 2023 08:42 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, George, for sharing your experience and advice.

Mar 22, 2023 09:50 AM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

It is really amazing the questions we encounter during real estate transactions.  I once needed to help sellers, who were moving overseas, to rehome their cat.   I ended up writing a single's ad for "Freddie."  It worked really well!

Mar 22, 2023 05:28 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS George, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!  

Mar 22, 2023 05:29 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi George:

Well, "expect the unexpected" is right! I rolled by eyes are few times reading this. I suspect many buyers simply don't have a good grasp of how the pre-approval process works, and perhaps think what's good with one lender is sure to be good with another. The lack of consideration for the existing relationship you had is certainly troubling, but unfortunately it may not be all that uncommon.


Mar 22, 2023 07:53 PM
Tim Maitski
Atlanta Communities Real Estate Brokerage - Atlanta, GA
Truth, Excellence and a Good Deal

Yes, that is an interesting question.

But the question I would ask him would be why he wants to use another lender?   Does he think he can get a better deal?  Is it a bank he already does business with?  Did he not like working with you?  After you find out some possible reasons, you might be able to educate him and keep him from making a mistake.  Or, it he might have unrealistic expectations and it might be best for you if he moves on.

Mar 23, 2023 06:01 AM
Ann Hayden 636-399-7544
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Select Properties-St. Louis Missouri - Des Peres, MO

George Souto ,

It is truly amazing some of the ideas people have.  Sorry you invested time only to be tossed aside.  It happens often to agents as well.

Look to a better deal!


Mar 23, 2023 06:37 AM
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

I'm going to say that most buyers do not understand how agents are paid, nor how lenders get paid.  They have no concept of all the work that goes into this job up front and bc there is no financial commitment up front, it's easy for them to walk away. 

Mar 23, 2023 09:56 AM
Ed Silva
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

George Souto   You can't fix stupid. And as someone recently pointed out in a comment on my blog: Anything bad that happens to that person is well deserved.

Mar 23, 2023 11:42 AM
Gloria Todor
Premier Property Sales & Rentals - Media, PA
& Doug Durren (484) 431-3686 in SE PA

George, Wow, he probably thinks the other guy will give him something better after he looks at your letter.  Another example of a person who has no awareness that what you did for him required time and effort on your part.  Best he is gone, but very frustrating for you, for sure.

Mar 24, 2023 01:42 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Amazing!   Do home buyers honestly believe lenders are paid a salary?  That may be the question and answer for this situation.  We may take for granted that the public understsands how we are paid. I'd have said that to hiim, "Do you understand how lenders are paid?   and   Do you understand how much effort/time/work went into helping you to get re-approved without earning a dime?"  

Mar 25, 2023 10:22 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi George Souto - I had to laugh at your term for what he did.  LOL!  I do agree.  There are some really stupid questions or there are some really ignorant people.  But you are right.  We have to be professional even when we want to stick our hand through the telephone receiver and wring their neck (figurately of course)!

Mar 25, 2023 05:43 PM
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA

Here, again, is proof that you can't fix "stupid".

One can only wonder how that buyer finally did or did not succeed in making a home purchase. 

Mar 26, 2023 06:00 PM
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

Proof that stupid is what stupid does.  Great post and a good read 

Mar 28, 2023 02:14 PM
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Platinum - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Great post!  Thanks for sharing and enjoy your day!

Apr 02, 2023 07:24 AM