Forgiving does not erase the...

Real Estate Agent with Fathom Realty Washington LLC

Paul Henderson, REALTOR®, Fathom Realty WA LLC, Kitsap and Mason County, Washington's preferred real estate Agent & Broker

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future!

Attributed to Lewis B. Smedes (1921-2002)

Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog post! This post was researched, authored, and photo by Paul Henderson, REALTOR®, ©2008-2023, all rights reserved. All information is deemed reliable; however it should be independently verified by the reader. Any reproduction of this blog post is prohibited without the prior written permission of the author...

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 and courtesy of 

Paul S. Henderson, Residential Real Estate Broker 

Tacoma Washington 

Realtor ® BPOR, CRS, GRI, CDPE

Fathom Realty WA LLC


South Puget Sound in Washington State





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As a Residential Broker and Relocation Specialist, I sell homes in or around ,Tacoma, Gig Harbor, Lakewood, Steilacoom,  University Place, DuPont and Hartstene Pointe in Washington State.
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Comments (14)

Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Paul,

Love your photo so appropriate with the quote. We can forgive and put on the back burner hurtful events but the memories are not deleted. New ones of hope are constantly added pushing down those painful events to the bottom of the list.

Mar 23, 2023 04:31 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

Thank you for this beautiful comment Dorie Dillard Austin TX 

Mar 23, 2023 11:32 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667,, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Forgiving can be a difficult thing to do, but it can take the anger and hurt out of the memories.

Mar 23, 2023 04:51 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

When I found forgiveness, it took a burden off my soul Kat Palmiotti 

Mar 23, 2023 11:33 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Good morning, Paul... forgiving is often more for the forgiver than the forgiven. And it's a good thing to do. But that being said, it doesn't mean the forgiver needs to "forget."

Mar 23, 2023 05:05 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

We just have to make sure the ego doesn’t get in the way, I have found Nina Hollander, Broker 

Mar 23, 2023 11:34 AM
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

That is so true!  I feel like I am really good at forgiving but it's pretty rare that I would forget, haha.

Mar 23, 2023 05:35 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

That is a great thought and I think we can all agree with your summation Brian England 

Mar 23, 2023 11:35 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Good morning, Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS 

This is a good reminder for people having a difficult time forgetting and forgiving. We may never forget but to forgive induces healing of the body, mind, and soul. This would also be a good quote to see in churches, court houses, schools, and attorney offices. 

Mar 23, 2023 05:42 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

I have found that the deeper the wound, the longer it takes to forget and forgive; totally Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP 🙂

Mar 23, 2023 11:37 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Paul - I am not familiar with this quote nor its author.  However, the sentiment expressed is one I have heard interpreted in similar ways.  The thought remains good to keep in mind.   

Mar 23, 2023 06:03 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

When I search for quotes, I often find thoughts by authors I have never heard of. I do dig in my proverbial rabbit hole from time to time Michael Jacobs 🙂

Mar 23, 2023 11:40 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Paul- I love the sentiment of the quote. I often wonder if forgive is something easily done but rather we decide to move on. I can forgive but I don’t forget

Mar 23, 2023 08:57 AM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

I have found that many people have their own method of closure. It is not for me to say what is the right way as long as it gets you the pep to move on Kathy Streib 

Mar 23, 2023 11:42 AM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

I had to contemplate those words a bit.  I now see the truth in them.

Mar 23, 2023 01:03 PM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

I like to observe and absorb different perspectives I find in quotes Myrl Jeffcoat 🙂

Mar 23, 2023 04:36 PM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Paul,

Forgiveness can help dull the pain moving forward.  But the scar is always there.

Mar 23, 2023 01:12 PM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

That is a truly wonderful thought Sheri Sperry - MCNE® 

Mar 23, 2023 04:36 PM
Dave Halpern
Dave Halpern Real Estate Agent, Inc., Louisville, KY (502) 664-7827 - Louisville, KY
Louisville Short Sale Expert

Murder should not be forgiven. The perp needs to be punished. 

Mar 23, 2023 06:55 PM
Paddy Deighan MBA JD PhD - Vail, CO
Paddy Deighan J.D. Ph.D

Wonderful quote and timely . We seldom hear about forgiveness in this angry worl

Mar 24, 2023 12:11 AM
Anne Corbin
Long and Foster - Lake Anna - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

I think the hardest person to forgive is yourself. I was dealing with something once and my minister told me that I needed to forgive myself. He was right. Such a wise man. Learning to forgive yourself is critical to moving on.

Mar 24, 2023 06:02 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Good thoughts, Paul! Forgiving someone frees the person from being held prisoner but does not forgive the trespasser. The soul remembers.

Mar 24, 2023 09:06 AM
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

Forgiveness is a strange thing.  It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive the people we love.

When you forgive, you in no way change the past -- but you sure do change the future.

"Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.  It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offence up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love." -- Gary Chapman

Apr 16, 2023 05:07 PM