I have recently have been doing a study that looks at the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and I learned so much from it.
I never really understood that the trip from Egypt to Israel was only 12 miles of a straight walk. And it took them 40 years to make that trip because they kept wandering in the desert. When you look at all that happened to them during that time, they made so many unwise decisions that led to painful consequences over and over again. For many of the Israelites the DREAM of entering the Promised Land would not be realized. This learning process was not something that they enjoyed, but after finally learning to honor, trust, and follow the path that God had for them, they were able to cross over into Israel and it really was into the Promised Land.
I have been reading two books that have really helped me to begin to understand some of the trials that I have faced in the last several years. "The DreamGiver" by Bruce Wilkinson, and "Shattered Dreams God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy" by Larry Crabb. Both of these books talk about how not one single person goes through life without suffering some kind of shattered dream. When you go through suffering and pain, that is when it is hardest to have faith and continue to develop a relationship with God. That has been so true for me, and I am finding that after so many years it is time for me to discover what God made me to be!! Before I can make any kind of progress and move forward I need to tell people that have hurt me that I do forgive them for the hurt and the pain that encompassed our lives. I was just wandering in the desert trying to forget and not deal with any of the feelings and loss that I had suffered. But the feeling were just eating at my soul and keeping me from entering into any kind of healthy, loving, supportive relationships. I also began to realize that I must ask every person that I had hurt, or harbored resentment against, to please forgive me. I do not know what is going to happen in the future, but I do know that I want to start pursuing whatever dream God has for me.
I read in one of my books the following four truths:
Life includes suffering, but life is good. In this world, Jesus' followers and everyone else will suffer tribulation. But Jesus has made a way for us to satisfy our deepest desire in the midst of unrelieved pain.
The cause of all suffering is separation. We are separated from God - and from our own deepest desire, our longing for God - and we're therefore deceived into looking elsewhere for joy. That sets us off on the ultimate wild goose chase. Nothing but God satisfies our most profound desire.
The way to handle suffering is to discover your desire for God. Then everything, both good and bad, becomes redemptive. It moves us toward the God we desire. Enter your thirst. Feel your ache, the very worst ache that throbs in your soul. Face how you harm others, your spouse, your children, your friends. And face your disappointment with them. Eventually, you will seek God for..
- ..........forgiveness of your failure to love.
- ..........the love you desire.
- ..........empowerment to love others.
- ..........hope that one day you will revel in love freely given and freely received in a perfect Community of lovers.
The new life provided through Jesus must be accepted as a gift of love. We then spend the rest of our days discovering our desire to know God better, and we come to realize it's a desire whose satisfaction no shattered dream can thwart.
Regard brokenness as an opportunity, as the chance to discover a desire that no brokenness can eliminate but that only brokenness reveals. Remember what brokenness is. It's the awareness that you long to be someone you're not and cannot be without divine help. Never pretend to God or to yourself that you feel what you don't or that you are what you're not. "Excerpts from "Shattered Dreams God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy" by Larry Crabb
These four truths really make me think about how I am handling my life. I do not know how long it might take, but I am going to move forward and try to discover how to have the relationship with God that helps me to know him better and how to follow whatever dream God has made me to fill. I know it has to be better than what I have been doing and I am looking forward to the adventure.
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