Special offer

๐Ÿถ A Dog's Hilarious Guide to Being a Guard Dog ๐Ÿพ

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Greenville Upstate

Written by the Blue Line Team official team dog, Dutch.

Woof! So, you want to be a guard dog, huh? Well, buckle up, my furry friend, because I've got some hilarious tips to share from my dog's-eye view:

Choose the Perfect Human ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ Find a human who looks like they need some serious guarding. Someone who jumps at their own shadow or screams when a squirrel runs by will do just fine. It's all about job security, after all!

Master the Art of Fierce Barking ๐Ÿพ Barking is the language of us guard dogs. Practice your fierce barks, growls, and howls. Trust me, it's an art form. Bonus points if you can scare away the mailman with just one bark! ๐Ÿ“ฌ

Develop Stealth Skills ๐Ÿพ You need to be sneaky like a ninja, my four-legged friend. Practice tiptoeing, or should I say, tip-pawing, around the house without making a sound. Surprise your human by popping up behind them when they least expect it. Cue the jump scares! ๐Ÿ˜ผ

Protect Your Territory ๐Ÿฐ Guard dogs are all about protecting their kingdom. Make sure to mark your territory with enthusiasm. Urinate on every tree, bush, and lamppost like it's your personal masterpiece. Let those pesky intruders know who's boss!

Disguise as a Fluffy Pillow ๐Ÿ›Œ Sometimes, the best guard dog strategy is to go incognito. Find the comfiest spot on the couch or bed, tuck your paws neatly, and pretend to be a fluffy pillow. Intruders won't suspect a thing! ๐Ÿ˜ด

Master the Art of Surprise Attacks! ๐Ÿพ Pouncing on unsuspecting feet is an essential skill for any guard dog. Wait in the shadows, and when your human least expects it, launch yourself at their ankles! Bonus points for making them spill their coffee. Oopsie! โ˜•

Go Undercover as a Lap Dog ๐Ÿพ Nothing throws off intruders like a guard dog snuggling on their human's lap. Curl up in a ball and pretend to be the tiniest lap dog ever, making your human burst into laughter. Remember, laughter is the best guard dog defense! ๐Ÿคฃ

Demand Treats and Belly Rubs! ๐Ÿ– Don't forget to keep your human on their toes by demanding treats and belly rubs. Who can resist our adorable faces and wagging tails? Master the puppy eyes technique, and you'll have them wrapped around your paw in no time! ๐Ÿ˜‡

Remember, being a guard dog is all about protecting and bringing joy to your human. So, enjoy the hilarious moments, the belly rubs, and the endless treats. Embrace your inner goofiness and be the best guard dog you can be. Woof woof! ๐Ÿพโค๏ธ

ย 

Comments(8)

Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Very funny, a Guard Dog for dummies story that is sure to get attention.

Jun 03, 2023 05:28 PM
Jeff Masich-Scottsdale AZ Associate Broker,MBA,GRI
HomeSmart Real Estate - Scottsdale, AZ
Arizona Homes and Land Group/ Buy or Sell

I love it "undercover lap dog" is really a guard dog!JDogs really are the best security system. I heard once that in the future we will only need 3 things. A factory, A Man and A Dog. The dog is to protect the machinery and the man is to feed the dog.ย  Jeff ๐Ÿ˜€

Jun 03, 2023 06:38 PM
John Pusa
Glendale, CA

Hello Bill Kennedy very good report about a dog's hilarious guide to being a guard dog.

Jun 03, 2023 08:34 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Bill loved your post may I suggest adding photos of the guard dogs for us visual guys:))Endre

Jun 03, 2023 09:39 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Very cute, Bill... I live with a "guard" dog... fortunately, we don't need much guarding as Bingo loves everyone and believes that anyone who comes through our door for whatever reason is there only to see him.

Jun 04, 2023 05:27 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Great job pretending to be a guard dog! :-)

Jun 04, 2023 06:58 AM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Bill, too cute, and even though I have kitties, your post today was hilarious!ย 

Jun 04, 2023 07:45 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Bill,
Thanks for a fun read.

Jun 04, 2023 10:25 AM