Avoid the Consequences of Being "Too Nice."

By
Real Estate Agent with Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 UT DRE# 6541633-SA00

Avoid the Consequences of Being "Too Nice."

 

Let's face it, being overly eager to help can backfire on anyone, creating negative consequences, especially when giving way too much! It's important to set boundaries up front, at any time but especially during the holidays.

 

People don't notice the things we do for them

until we stop doing them. ~ Mike Skinner

 

These 3 tips can help to avoid being taken advantage of:

Learn to say no and mean it. It's okay to put yourself first if necessary, especially when your schedule is full and you long for some down time, you time.


Speak up for yourself. If you fail to do this, chances are, no one else will and the door remains open for people to take advantage of you at every opportunity.


Set solid boundaries. Let people know where the line is drawn. Step back and reassess often for your own well-being and mental health. Even if daily.

 

Rather than ending up resenting people or feeling like a well-used doormat because everyone now has unrealistic expectations of your willingness to always help, be assertive and use the the above 3 steps as a guideline.

 

We cripple people who are capable of walking because

we choose to carry them. ~ Christie Williams

 

The joy experienced, by doing for people can still be met when a sense of balance is struck between giving to others and taking good care of themselves. Besides, if you become ill or unable to perform, nothing good results.

 

Remember: Everyone can still 'be nice' without being used solely for other people's selfish purposes. Repeat after me..."I am not a doormat." "I am NOT a doormat." "I AM NOT a FREAKIN' DOORMAT!" Repeat as often as necessary.

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I, Wanda Kubat-Nerdin at Red Rock Real Estate Utah am responsible for my opinions expressed in this blog. Information herein is deemed to be reliable but not guaranteed and may change due to market conditions. Please do not take my pictures or artwork and use them as your own, they are my property and copyrighted.

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Wanda Kubat-Nerdin is a southern Utah REALTOR® assisting buyers and sellers in in the St. George area, Dammeron Valley, Diamond Valley, Veyo, Central, Hurricane, Ivins, La Verkin, Leeds, Santa Clara, and Washington real estate markets.
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Red Rock Real Estate
90 E 100 S, St. George, UT 84770

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Comments (25)

Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Someone once said to me " I do not believe we can ever be too nice."  "How can we be too nice?" 

Perhaps it is merely a perspective or how one interprets "being too nice". 

The bottom line for me is: when people attempt to take advantage of goodwill (nice or helpful) and disrespect my right to say "no" or "no thank you." 

Dec 04, 2023 02:44 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Setting boundaries in both the professional realm and our personal lives ensures more harmonious living, Dorie Dillard Austin TX. Letting people know where you stand is perfectly acceptable!

Dec 04, 2023 04:21 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Granted, there will always be those type of people, Bob "RealMan" Timm, thankfully, they are few and between!

Dec 04, 2023 04:22 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Taking care of business means also creating healthy guidelines for others to follow, Dennis Neal. Otherwise, trouble can soon ensue...and we definitely want to avoid that!

Dec 04, 2023 04:23 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Growing up in a large family, I was taught to selflessly help others without question, Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist. After becoming an adult with a sincere soft side, I soon learned that not everyone practices mutual respect and remains within set boundaries. Glad to be well past that now!

Dec 04, 2023 06:21 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Well, I have never been accused of being too nice:)) seriously I am with you do not confuse kindness with weakness, Endre

Dec 04, 2023 10:13 PM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I have experienced this quite a bit and even though it feels horrible, I have found that I have never actually been worse off, haha.

Dec 05, 2023 04:13 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Setting boundaries and speaking up for ourselves is so important to having a well balanced life. There's nothing wrong with saying no.

Dec 05, 2023 04:50 AM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Wanda, I see people try to take advantage of us sometimes and I am with Kat, SET BOUNDARIES!

Dec 05, 2023 08:33 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

I'm sure you will not be surprised, Wanda, that no one has ever accused me of being a doormat!

Dec 05, 2023 08:38 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! I don't have a problem with saying NO, and I have never had anyone tell me I am to nice.  😊

Dec 05, 2023 08:56 AM
Leanne Smith
Dirt Road Real Estate - Golden Valley, AZ
The Grit and Gratitude Agent

Three outstanding points. Also I would add listen to your gut.

Dec 05, 2023 11:42 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Well, I have and it attracted opportunistic people until learning how to avoid them, Endre Barath, Jr.. Now, I have no problem saying N-O now!

Dec 05, 2023 12:26 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Good for you, Brian England. More nice people just need to shut the circus down before it gains momentum!

Dec 05, 2023 12:27 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Absolutely, Kat Palmiotti! Giving to others is a good thing and also part of our jobs.

Dec 05, 2023 12:30 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

You and Kathleen have got it right, Will Hamm!

Dec 05, 2023 12:31 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

You are not a pushover, that is obvious, Nina Hollander, Broker. If someone wants to wipe their feet, they can cross the street and keep looking, ain't happening here!

Dec 05, 2023 12:32 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

The saying goes, Just Say NO for a reason, George Souto! I am agreeable with that.

Dec 05, 2023 12:33 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Yes, intuition plus past experience is an effective teacher when listening -and- learning, Leanne Smith!

Dec 05, 2023 12:37 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

hI Wanda- in our business and personal lives, it is too easy to take on the door-mat persona. That's why is is important for parents and others to instill a healthy sense of self worth in our children. Let them know it's ok to say NO. 

Dec 07, 2023 07:38 PM