Special offer

Reciprocity Rocks. . .

Industry Observer CalDRE #01165532


Reciprocity Rocks

When It’s Repetitive. . .



A November 27, 2023 post by Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! addressed the issue of reciprocity.  It’s a topic that has a long ActiveRain history.  Like many of Wanda's posts, this one stayed with me.



I have written about reciprocity. Many of you have shared your thoughts too. I know this because I have read and commented on many posts and questions over the years. Both from those I follow as well as others. Yes, it might be said, the topic rocks-and-rolls this platform.




I have traveled to a place beyond this site. To put it into real estate-related context, the subject might be addressed in the underlying documents found in a transaction. There are times when additional attention is required. It seems to me that many may miss the relationship ingredient of reciprocity. In real estate and in everyday life. It seems interconnected.



That associated aspect includes portions of exchange, trade-off and return. They can combine to make any experience better. But it's not a one and done type of approach. For me, there is much more to following members. Like client selection, it depends on many factors. Repetition of reciprocity can make the concept stronger. And more effective. I don't automatically follow those who follow me especially from someone I have had no interaction.






Reciprocal relationships are not one-sided. They are connected in some way, likely many. I believe it goes beyond simply following. As I commented on Wanda's post - each member finds the way that matches their style. On a much different thought train, here is a quote to consider:



I like to believe that love

is a reciprocal thing,

that it can't be felt, truly, by one.

Sean Penn


Those words continue to be worthy of reflection for me.



The featured image in this post is a photograph I took for an AR post many years ago. The second and third images are from canstockphoto.com.












Posted by

Michael Jacobs


CalBRE # 01165532

P. O. Box 587

Pasadena, CA 91102

Call/Text:  818.516.4393




Leanne Smith
Dirt Road Real Estate - Golden Valley, AZ
The Grit and Gratitude Agent

Reciprocity is no guarantee by the other person. You words are full of wisdom.

Jan 23, 2024 07:00 AM
Michael Jacobs

Leanne Smith - when it comes to guarantees, I am reminded of these words by Clint Eastwood:  If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.


While I think reciprocity is a bit more complicated than household appliances, I think his point is valid.   Happy Tuesday.  

Jan 23, 2024 07:09 AM
Leanne Smith

Yes that is a good quote. My sense those who expect reciprocity for their actions are leading with their egos and not their hearts or ethics.

Jan 23, 2024 07:11 AM
Michael Jacobs

Leanne Smith - good point.  I agree it's concerning where egos can lead some at times to not-so-nice places.  

Jan 23, 2024 12:07 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

Reciprocity is a quality that really good relationships are built on. I hope you are having a good week, Michael.

Jan 23, 2024 09:35 AM
Michael Jacobs

Myrl Jeffcoat - I agree with your thoughts about the result of a reciprocal relationship.  The SoCal weather is nice today - yesterday was raining.  Snow in the distant mountains is always nice to see especially when you know the beach isn't that far away.  🏄⛰🏜

Jan 23, 2024 03:22 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Michael, for sharing some of your thoughts on reciprocity. 

Let's continue to spread love and kindness every day.

Jan 23, 2024 01:51 PM
Michael Jacobs

Roy Kelley - although there are times when it can seem more difficult, I can continue to try to do/be better and kinder than the day before.  

Jan 23, 2024 03:23 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Michael, great post again, and I was seeing not as much interaction as we used to a few years ago.   Many have not posted for many reasons.

Jan 24, 2024 06:01 AM
Michael Jacobs

Joan Cox - so much has changed/evolved.  And not just at ActiveRainLand.  

Jan 24, 2024 06:09 AM
Jerry Newman
Brown Realty, 210-789-4216, - San Antonio, TX
Texas REALTOR, San Antonio Military Relocation

Hi Michael. I do make an effort to comment and reach out to everyone who comments on my posts.  Reciprocity is always nice to do, and it does build on our relationships here in the Rain.

Jan 24, 2024 08:10 AM
Michael Jacobs

Jerry Newman - reciprocity along with a lot of other factors combine as relationships grow (or not grow).  In and away from the 'Rain.  ☔ 

Jan 24, 2024 08:27 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Friday morning, Michael.

Have a great day and an outstanding weekend.

Jan 26, 2024 06:53 AM
Michael Jacobs

Roy Kelley - thank you, I hope you and Dolores have a nice weekend planned.  While this morning still looks a bit overcast, I am hopeful we will see good weather.  I am heading out for a walk later this morning.  

Jan 26, 2024 08:40 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Jan 27, 2024 07:10 PM
Michael Jacobs

Kathy Streib - thank you for the recognition in your weekly post.  I appreciate it.  

Jan 28, 2024 04:02 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Exchanging ideas with others for mutual benefit Well, Michael Jacobs, you have always done that exceptionally well.  I have always enjoyed your posts and this one is no exception. I do, however, agree with some of the other comments. My relationships have grown strong with those who exchange ideas with me and with them. I have also noticed an exodus of many members that I sincerely miss. 

I am so glad Kathy Streib featured this post. 

Food for thought -  I remember when*  we had a Challenge to call members who no longer participated and asked them to return to Active Rain. 

Jan 28, 2024 08:44 AM
Michael Jacobs

Hannah Williams - you and I have been around this platform for a while and have seen a lot.  Connections and contests/challenges. Conflicts and collisions are a part of it too.   Differences of opinions and thought processes are part of this community and the bigger world too.  

Jan 28, 2024 08:55 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

Sometimes someone may believe they are being reciprocal when the other party does not sense or believe they are, especially where love is concerned. Gardening, is stirred to memory from your fist photo, you do tend to get back from the soil the effort you put into it, it tends to be a reciprocal result.

Jan 28, 2024 09:32 AM
Michael Jacobs

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 - feelings especially when associated with reciprocity can certainly be subjective.  I like how the photo brought forth a terra firma connection for you.  

Jan 28, 2024 04:15 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC

Hi Michael! As always, your words of wisdom are profound. As Wanda mentioned in the past, it's not always about visiting the other members' posts & commenting but, engaging in your own way. I SO wish I had more time because I will admit to some pretty significant guilt because I don't have nearly as much time to spend commenting as I used to. While I'm thrilled to be otherwise busy with face-to-face interaction, I still miss being able to spend a lot of time here. I'm trying to do better but, I still stink at reciprocity when it comes to commenting.

Jan 28, 2024 05:27 PM
Michael Jacobs

Debe Maxwell, CRS - time is a very real issue. On AR and in everyday life.  Different factors impact each of us differently.

Sorry, I can't erase guilt of any sort.  Believe me, I have personally been working on that for a long time. 

Jan 28, 2024 05:44 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

My best friend, who is Catholic and her mother both say that I suffer from "Significant Catholic guilt - more than any Catholic they know!!" 

Jan 28, 2024 06:11 PM
Mike McCann Nebraska Land Broker
Mike McCann - Broker, Mach1 Realty Farm & Commercial Land Broker-Auctioneer Serving Nebraska - Kearney, NE
Farm & Commercial Property For Sale 308-627-3700

Hi Michael Jacobs I need to do a better job and I appreciate you pointing that out to me in this blog.  I appreciate you visiting my blog on a regular basis and I need to visit yours more often.

Jan 28, 2024 06:33 PM
Michael Jacobs

Mike McCann Nebraska Land Broker - it was not my intention to make any point to you or other in regard to reciprocity. I apologize if that tone was in my post.  I appreciate any comment when it is received.  Some, more than others.  Yes, I admit that.  I enjoy seeing comments from you whenever they arrive.  Thank you.  PS - No pressure.  😆


Jan 29, 2024 01:38 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Michael,

I've been gone on vacation and just getting back to catching  up. I'm so glad that Kathy Streib featured your post. A great topic and you have pondered your way (as usual) to a meaningful message! Relationships have to be nourished and both parties have to engage to help them flourish!  

Jan 29, 2024 04:35 AM
Michael Jacobs

Dorie Dillard Austin TX - welcome back.  Thank you for the comment and I hope your return to everyday life continues to reflect the many possibilities each of us have to learn and discover something new or a different way to look at the world around us.  Happy Monday.  

Jan 29, 2024 04:45 AM
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Hello Michael Jacobs, as always, very well written. it's a good feeling to receive as well as give back. I truly feel guilty not being on ActiveRain as much as I would like to but, in life things happen beyond our control. Thank you for this post!

Jan 29, 2024 06:13 AM
Michael Jacobs

Beth Atalay - participation on ActiveRain or any activity is certainly influenced by many factors.  I like how you mention the subject of "control".   So crucial as the decision-making becomes a part of the process.  

Jan 29, 2024 05:45 PM
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

OK Michael, you definitely have gone into a cerebral existential mode.  I had to read this a few times.  And your graphics makes it even more mysterious.  Keep going.  I think you are almost there!

Jan 29, 2024 10:47 AM
Michael Jacobs

John Henry, Florida Architect - I'll need to ponder my use of images/graphics based on your comment.  Hmm...  Hope all is well with you in Orlando.  

Jan 29, 2024 05:47 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Michael:

The topic of reciprocity DOES have a long history on AR, and we can choose when and how to reciprocate, or not, and should do so without an expectation of getting something in return. But what a nice surprise when something does happen in return, on AR or in real life.

I particularly liked your point that "reciprocal relationships are not one-sided."

Pondering further, your post took me on a journey waay back in time to a post on reciprocity written  in 2007 by TLW (The Lonely Wife), one of the very early members of AR along with husband Bryant Tutas. Reciprocity can take us places we don't expect if we take but a few moments.


Jan 29, 2024 05:15 PM
Michael Jacobs

Jeff Dowler, CRS - although I didn't sign up for AR until 2010 and "let it sit" until much later, I recognize some of the names of legendary members from before my time here.  I appreciate the thoughts you added in your comment.  

Jan 29, 2024 05:51 PM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Reciprocity is so important when attempting to develop a following on a forum like this. Those who post once or twice and quit because they see no action, don't understand the importance of their own lack of engagement. 

I'm no longer as active as I used to be, and admit that I am not keeping up with reciprocating comments like I always did. You have inspired me to work harder at it.

Jan 30, 2024 07:48 AM
Michael Jacobs

Sharon Tara - if the subject is reciprocity or something else, I believe each of us can do better.  Well, at least I can try.  

Jan 30, 2024 01:39 PM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Hum a few bars of it .. Reciprocity ...

Jan 30, 2024 02:28 PM
Michael Jacobs

Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573 - my ability to "Name That Tune" is non-existent but I appreciate the thought.  Thank you.  

Jan 30, 2024 02:34 PM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

So glad that Kathy featured this so I could catch up and not miss this post. It is important to reciprocate when we can and here on AR, we also need to show grace when we don't hear from one another. Life truly moves on and offers each of us various seasons of being "active" here in the Rain.

Jan 31, 2024 09:10 AM
Michael Jacobs

Dr. Paula McDonald - thank you for the comment.  I believe life teaches us many lessons along this journey.  Some may be taught, forgotten and then remembered at some point.  Maybe they are reinterpreted as we learn different techniques.  

Jan 31, 2024 10:36 AM
Cara Marcelle Mancuso
Golden Girls with SW Desert Homes - Tucson, AZ
Call a Marana neighbor, I'm THERE!

Your history of commenting, and commenting consistently, is inspiring.  I appreciate the words you type.

Feb 16, 2024 01:22 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Cara Marcelle Mancuso - thank you for the kind comment.  I appreciate it.  

Feb 16, 2024 04:32 PM