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Positive or Negative Attitudes Has Consequences

Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509

"Change your thoughts

and you Change your world."

---Norman Vincent Peale



Whether one is the buyer, seller, listing agent, or buyer's agent, a positive attitude goes a long way to achieving positive results. There are three important instructions:

  1. Read carefully to understand.
  2. Listen carefully to understand.
  3. See carefully to understand. 



Whether you are a buyer, seller, both; or an experienced or inexperienced agent, listen attentively with both ears. Age may be just a number, but the truth is age is reality. The reality is buying or selling a home is still one of the most expensive investments. As the mind wonders on price, size, decor, paint colors, functionality, staging, clutter, cost to move, closet space, size of garage, pets, fenced in yard, schools, location, transportation, home entertainment, office space, preparing meals for family and/or friends in an adequate kitchen, buying and/or selling is serious business. Do not be distracted. The truth is, to make an educated decision one must fully understand what one is potentially buying by reading, listening, and seeing what is really there before you sign an offer or during the option period. Re-read the contract and know before you buy and agree.  



They say, one bad apple can spoil everything. When buying or selling real estate, attitude plays a crucial role in the outcome. A negative attitude can upset the applecart. All it takes is a negative experience to cause a buyer to walk, a seller to say no, or a conflict between agents to influence the sale of a real estate transaction to change what could have been a positive outcome to a negative experience. 


Our lives are filled with emotions, and each person's attitude can have a positive or negative effect. Emotions aren't just feelings. They involve motivation, determination, excitement, sorrow, fear, happiness, and sadness too. People buy and sell for many different reasons. One word can change the mood. Our body and mind react to many different situations. One thought, triggers another. Just as there are interconnected thoughts when choosing to buy or sell, there are consequences for how we think and react to what we see, hear, understand, or don't understand fully. Compromising is not necessarily easy. Other people's involvement and decisions must be considered. 


A seller may experience an ownership effect, meaning when there is ownership, people often view their property as better and more valuable. Plus, there are memories invisible to the public or personal reasons that don't need to be disclosed, such as why people are selling. A buyer on a deadline may be suffering from acute stress when they make an offer and don't get an immediate response. Nobody really knows what is going on with the buyer or seller nor can anyone predict how a counteroffer or rejection will have a personal effect on another human being. 



Circumstances can change everything, due to a home inspection, home appraiser, terms of the contract, or financing. One person's stress can be a burden on another. From my Bachelor of Arts degree in Applied Behavioral Sciences, "a cognitive appraisal theory claims that each specific emotion is elicited by a particular kind of cognitive appraisal, which is the person's assessment of the impact of the event on his or her well-being and personal concerns." Decisions rest with the buyer and the seller and what they decide to do. Source: Understanding the Mysteries of Human Behavior, Professor Mark Leary, Duke University. 



Whether it's a pre-existing home or new construction, just like people, no one is perfect. What makes a transaction come to fruition depends on successful or unsuccessful outcomes and/or relationships with their agents or other people. Buyers and sellers make decisions based on cost, understanding circumstances, a willingness to compromise and satisfaction. When people work well together and they stay positive, the outcome usually always ends on a positive note with satisfaction. 

I hope my years of experience has been helpful. The context is original. Photos are stock photos carefully selected from Ribbet. A source has been noted for quote and textbook. This blog post is personal property of Patricia Feager, REALTOR®, MBA, GRI, CRS, SRES, CERTIFIED NEGOTIATOR, etc. AI was not used by author and cannot be used for AI or copied. 

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MBA (University of Dallas)
(Bachelors of Arts & Science)
Paralegal (Southeastern Career Institute)
Associates (3) (College of Lake County)
KU (University of Kansas)


CRS (Certified Residential Specialist)
SRES (Certified Senior Residential Specialist)
PSA (Certified Pricing Strategies; Mastering the CMA)
CRS (Certified Military Relocation Specialist)
RENE (Real Estte Negotitions Expert)

"With self-discipline most anything is possible." --- Theodore Roosevelt 





Comments (12)

George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Patricia negative attitudes are very hard to overcome.  Every step possible must be taken to keep things positive and moving forward, especially in Real Estate transactions.

Feb 27, 2024 04:00 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

George Souto - A bad attitude is often instigated by fear and not fully understanding or misinformation. A REALTOR® has a fiduciary duty and responsibilities. A positive attitude is truly very important in Real Estate transactions and building relationships in business and personal lives too.   

Feb 27, 2024 04:09 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

George Souto - thank you for your meaningful contribution to member's blog posts on ActiveRain. 

You are greatly appreciated. 

Feb 27, 2024 04:49 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Great wisdom in your post hope the Feature Ferries find your post, now with that said loved your photos and illustrations, Endre

Feb 27, 2024 10:52 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

@Endre Barath, Jr. - thank you for your kind words. You positively lifted my spirits with your comment:)

Feb 28, 2024 01:59 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Patricia - consequences along with circumstances and situations can cause confusion at times.  And there are those who rise above the morass of it all. 

Attitudes, positive and otherwise, can make a difference.  Choose wisely because in the words of Norman Vincent Peale, attitudes and thoughts can have an impact.   

Feb 28, 2024 03:27 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Good morning, Michael Jacobs - In the business world, we like to think our colleagues and clients use reason and understanding when presented with different scenarios and/or decision making. When emotions strike and bad attitudes follow, it is very difficult and challenging to get back on track. Reading with comprehension, listening to understand, coupled with seeing the difference between what is right and wrong are very important ways to further communication to achieve positive results. 

Sometimes stress is thrust upon us. Keeping emotions in check and learning how to disarm conflict goes a long way when intentions are explained and referencing pages numbers and paragraph helps. However, the prelude to signing contracts begins with reading the contract, listening, knowing expectations and responsibilities, and of course seeing clearly.

Thank you for commenting! I like your rational thinking.   

Feb 28, 2024 09:09 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Patricia. 

  1. Read carefully to understand.
  2. Listen carefully to understand.
  3. See carefully to understand. 

When you add the necessity "to compromise" all hell breaks loose. Be prepared to review the 3 steps above before reacting.

Enjoy your day.

Feb 28, 2024 04:37 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Wayne Martin - Conflict resolution can be avoided if everyone reads, listens, and sees carefully to understand. 

Trying to neutralize a situation without being offensive or intimidated is very touchy and takes skill without aggressive behavior. 

Feb 28, 2024 09:15 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Having a team where everyone has a positive attitude is amazing but usually not the case (when you add in everyone, mortgage lenders, agents, clients, appraiser, inspector, etc). So real estate professionals have to be coach, counselor and therapist (to name just a few hats we have to wear). Being positive is a huge asset in this industry!

Enjoy your day!

Feb 28, 2024 05:17 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Kat Palmiotti - Precisely! That is why repeat clients are so rewarding. I don't know of a single agent who completed a sale all alone. It takes a Team and cooperation. Step one is building relationships. Step 2 is establishing credibility. When people are approachable, and a transaction works to everyone's mutual benefit, that is when a wrap-up celebration is called for. You are 100% correct: "Being positive is a huge asset in this industry!"

Feb 28, 2024 09:22 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I love the illustrations throughout, they truly support the text. What a thoughtful expression of what goes into a transaction and how easily attitudes can change the result.

Feb 28, 2024 07:38 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 - thank you! I greatly appreciate your wisdom. In life, and on ActiveRain, being nice makes people happy. 

Thanks for making me happy!

Feb 28, 2024 09:24 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good afternoon Patricia,

Love all your catchy photos and the message came across loud and clear! In our industry just as many others, attitudes can shape how others feel about the finish line of a transaction. Positive vibes, communication and going the extra mile will always create  raving fans!

Feb 28, 2024 12:29 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Dorie Dillard Austin TX - thank you for your very positive comment! 

Henry Ford said it best: "If everyone is moving forward together then success takes care of itself." When there is obvious positive energy, others feel good too!

Mar 01, 2024 03:05 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Patricia:

A positive attitude can make such a difference...as can a negative one! Our attitude is something we can control, although emotions...as in a challenging real estate transaction...can interfere with attitude and make having a positive one more difficult. Emotions can interfere with our ability to listen effectively.

Love the graphics you used to share your important message.


Feb 29, 2024 09:12 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Jeff Dowler, CRS - I like your comment very much. It takes self-discipline to keep emotions in check. Once negativity escapes into someone else's space, it usually never ends well. I learned early on in life, way before becoming a real estate agent, that people function like a car battery. When a battery gets weak, the car doesn't function right, and if not corrected and replaced, the battery quits. The same is true with inappropriate emotions. If there is no self-control things will back fire and someone always pays the price. Actions really do speak louder than words. 

I was happy to learn you loved the graphics and this important message. 

Thank you. 

Mar 01, 2024 03:25 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP  had to stop in and see if the Feature Ferries found your post... guess not:)Endre

Mar 01, 2024 10:35 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Endre Barath, Jr. - Nope. No FEATURE FAIRIES for me. But I am so thankful you came back to check. Thank you! 

Everyone had a thoughtful comments. I enjoyed them all! 

Mar 02, 2024 03:27 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

I like your leading quote selection.

Thank you very much for sharing your experience and advice.

Mar 02, 2024 10:34 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Roy Kelley - I am glad to read your comments.

Thank you. 

Mar 02, 2024 10:58 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP: You are right. Attitude is so important. I just had a transaction where the other agent had to make everything very difficult. We didn't get emotional and got the job done. 

Mar 03, 2024 09:39 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Way to go, Hannah Williams! Just like children watch their parents every move, our clients keep an eye on us too. Keeping our emotions in check takes a lot of self-control. Our job is to serve our client's best interest. 

Congratulations on getting the job done!

Mar 03, 2024 04:33 PM
Adam Feinberg
Elegran - Manhattan, NY
NYC Condo, Co-op, and Townhouse Advisor

I saw a Henry Ford quote in the comments. Here is another -  “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

Mar 05, 2024 07:58 PM