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Why You Should Not Discuss the Details of Your Real Estate Transaction With Most People

Real Estate Agent with Fathom Realty 8431215

Simply put, your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers are very likely not skilled at putting a real estate transaction together, trouble shooting hurdles of the transaction, and getting it to close.

Although they may have bought a house or three, there are always changes in the industry, which they likely are not abreast of.  Additionally, each seller, buyer and house makes up their own recipe, and each transaction is different.   Sharing your transactional details with many other well meaning people is likely to make you confused, stressed and according to a recent client of mine, "I can't sleep at night".

You hired your agent to guide and advise because you trust them.  If you ask 10 people their opinion, you are likely to get many different answers., leading to confusion and stress.   I have seen it repeatedly.  Keep the details to yourself.  


Posted by

Michael Elliott



Burlington, New Jersey Real Estate 

Broker / Salesperson

Fathom Realty


cell (609) 864-8164   office (888) 455-6040

Burlington, NJ Real Estate


Sham Reddy CRS
Howard Hanna RE Services, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH

Agree 100% Michael, there are things that are best to keep it to yourself, however clients need to know every things the affects them.

each seller, buyer and house makes up their own recipe, and each transaction is different.   Sharing your transactional details with many other well meaning people is likely to make you confused, stressed and according to a recent client of mine, "I can't sleep at night".

Mar 28, 2024 03:48 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Michael. There is always an "Uncle Louie" without any knowledge that will give you his opinion of how you could have done it better. He is not a trusted friend or relative but rather a pain in the a$$. Enjoy your day.

Mar 28, 2024 03:59 AM
Michael Elliott

Wayne Martin --- when my clients tell me they got advice from someone, I typically respond with,  "And what does Uncle Louie do for a living?"

Mar 28, 2024 04:16 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Michael - real estate is certainly not as simple as some say it is.  It's also true, that's it's not brain surgery. Along the way through a transaction or any operation, things can go amiss.  Experience and ongoing education play parts in each of leaned skills (sometimes from lifelong lessons) as the individual tasks are completed.  

Mar 28, 2024 04:38 AM
Bill Salvatore - East Valley
Arizona Elite Properties - Chandler, AZ
Realtor - 602-999-0952 / em: golfArizona@cox.net

Michael you nailed it with this post. Thanks for sharing and enjoy your week!

Bill Salvatore, Realtor- Arizona Elite Properties

Mar 28, 2024 05:12 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I totally agree. I let clients go once because they just refused to listen to me, and instead wanted to do what their friends, who were in real estate, thought they should do. The reason those friends and I disagreed? They were in a nearby state which did everything differently. Argh.

Mar 28, 2024 05:23 AM
Carla Freund
Keller Williams Preferred Realty - Raleigh, NC
NC Real Estate Transition & Relocation 919-602-848

I often tell my home sellers to not discuss their list price or offer with neighbors. Well meaning neighbors often spill the beans to others. Also, they like to give their opinions and can really confuse the homeowner.

Mar 28, 2024 06:50 AM
Michael Elliott


Mar 28, 2024 06:54 AM
Mark Don McInnes, Sandpoint-Idaho
Sandpoint Realty LLC - Sandpoint, ID
North Idaho Real Estate - 208-255.6227

We owe confidentiality to our clients and discussing issues, with or without a name, comes very close to stepping over that line.  All your other points well taken also.  m

Mar 28, 2024 08:24 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

This is good advice to share. I hope all is going well for you this week.

Mar 28, 2024 10:55 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Excellent advice, Michael! The last thing an agent needs to do is to deal with the confusion created by multiple people because they suddenly are the 'experts' in a transaction. 🙄

Mar 28, 2024 02:08 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Michael- my husband is a retired builder. Unless asked, he rarely offers his opinion. He will but with the understanding that he is not current on many matters. 

Mar 28, 2024 09:25 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Michael Elliott  I always disliked when uncle Mike and relatives showed up after we looked at several homes... and the buyers picked one... second showing with uncle Mike was a possible land mine if you asked me:)Endre

Mar 28, 2024 10:10 PM
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-739-3843

We do learn an awful lot from each transaction as they are their own entities, yes! As in life, you have to be flexible, listen to your gut and know that sometimes, well-meaning “advice” ideally has to be taken with a grain of salt. I wouldn’t want to learn how to drive from someone who’s never been in the driver’s seat!

Mar 29, 2024 04:04 AM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

If you list more, sell more and dedicate your energies into success, the "SOLD" rider, your results say it all. You don't need to explain "he said, she said" and share what really happened left out to build a case for one side in a real estate related conversation Michael Elliott.

Mar 29, 2024 04:12 AM
Adam Feinberg
Elegran - Manhattan, NY
NYC Condo, Co-op, and Townhouse Advisor

I don't mind if friends and family members come along to a point. The problem is that this is a simple business but not an easy business- and too many people think they know more than they do. I have one client right now that was engaged but in order to get into contract they had to get married because of source of gift funds and qualifying incomes (they got married at city hall to buy the apartment, and have the real wedding for friends and family this summer). I have another listing on the Upper West Side that I just sent to a client where the building will only permit buyers with dogs to have the dog interviewed by a pet behaviorist in order to allow the dog to be approved to reside in the apartment. I often hear buyers say "Oh, we can tear down this wall..." um, unless you have an engineering background- or know what the building has approved in the past- buyers don't know what a board might permit. My point being- unless they know NYC real estate well, odds are all these friends and family members often can't help as much as they are well meaning.   

Apr 03, 2024 10:53 PM