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Life Lessons to Get You Through the Tough Times

By
Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509

When going through tough times, I turn to the roses. When a rose grows it enters the portal to my soul. From there, I find courage, honor, and it helps build character. A very dear friend of mine who mentored me when I got started in the business is facing end of life. We have been friends for a very long time. On a positive note, she has a very loving husband, family, and friends. She is several years younger than me, From the beginning she was always supportive of others, no matter who they are, or what was going on in her personal life. That is how she lives her life. Life presented many challenges to her, but she was never cross with anyone. 

 

 

Be grateful for the people who come into your life. Always be respectful. Never let your heart grow hard as ice. Be gentle, kind, and supportive in good times and bad. Be approachable. A good listener is as good as roses. they are both comforting.

 

 

When things appear dark and not so bright, have the courage to uplift others. Never let your own ego overshadow any situation. Do not boast and talk about yourself. Never, ever criticize others. In times of need, have the courage to be supportive and not compare your stories or past experiences, because you never really know what is going on in another person's life. Grief comes in different stages of everyone's life. 

 

 

 

Honor all people. It doesn't matter how old you are, what titles you had in a previous life, if you were military or not, married, single, widowed, with or without children, type of dwelling you live in, ocean view or no view, how successful you are in business, or where you live. No one faces end of life holding an admission ticket. Money isn't everything. Certificates, medals, service awards, recognition, and dipolmas are just something earned or written on pieces of paper. Treat all people fairly, regardless of a situation in a private and positive way showing others your deepest respect as a human being. No one was created to believe they are better. At some time in life, we all face our own mortality. 

 

 

 

Be the best you can be even when no one is looking or knows what you're going through. Treat everyone with dignity and respect even when you disagree with them. However, never be a doormat and let others trample over you or make you feel as if you don't deserve to be their friend. My dear and real friend facing immortality may or may not outlive me. None of us knows when our time is up. For now, I'm paying attention by helping her to stay uplifted and letting her know I care. And that's a life lesson I'm learning to get me through the tough times. 

 

A MESSAGE TO MY DEAR FRIEND

You are the wind beneath my wings

---Quote from Songwriters: Jeff Silbar & Larry Henley

 

This blog post was written from the heart by Patricia Feager, not to be copied or plagiarized, or used by artificial intelligence. These are photos of my roses. the small white flowers came from Belgium. 

 

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dfw fine properties

PATRICIA FEAGER, REALTOR®
DFW FINE PROPERTIES
3575 LONE STAR CIRCLE SUITE 315
FORT WORTH, TEXAS 76177

Email Me
                                  

                                     

MBA (University of Dallas)
BA
(Bachelors of Arts & Science)
Paralegal (Southeastern Career Institute)
Associates (3) (College of Lake County)
KU (University of Kansas)

CERTIFICATIONS

CRS (Certified Residential Specialist)
SRES (Certified Senior Residential Specialist)
PSA (Certified Pricing Strategies; Mastering the CMA)
CRS (Certified Military Relocation Specialist)
RENE (Real Estte Negotitions Expert)

"With self-discipline most anything is possible." --- Theodore Roosevelt 

 

 

 

  

Comments(22)

Michael Elliott
Fathom Realty - Burlington Township, NJ
Burlington, New Jersey Residential Sales

I love your post, you are a great friend.  So sorry to hear about your mentor.  PS--  the roses are beautiful.  Hugs.   

Aug 12, 2024 02:52 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Michael Elliott - I love all flowers, but it is the thorns of the rose plant that helps them to survive. Roses, in particular help me and others get through the tough times. Sharp thorns pierce the portal that gets to my soul. 

I appreciate your support. 

Aug 12, 2024 04:25 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Patricia - reading your post prompted me on a rabbit hole search of a quote I thought could be found.  Unfortunately, I seemed to end up caught a maze of thorns surrounded by roses.  Choosing wisely remains important. The lessons continue. . .  

Aug 12, 2024 03:00 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Michael Jacobs - if you think of the quote, you're welcome to come back and share. Quotes can be very encouraging. Whatever we say or do, we must always remember to chose our words and actions wisely. That truly is a lifelong lesson. 

Take care. 

Aug 12, 2024 04:28 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Oswego, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Patricia. Very powerful. I have always strived to be a better listener. Many times without the results I wanted. In retirement as my rose begins to wilt I am getting better. It is a journey and not a destination and luckily I am making progress. Enjoy your day.

Aug 12, 2024 04:30 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Wayne Martin - Communication is so much more than being a talker. A talker without listening isn't a very effective communicator. A noneffective communicator turns people off. For as long as I've read your posts and comments, you are always a very effective communicator. For you, I remain grateful. 

May your day be ever so wonderful. 

Aug 12, 2024 04:35 AM
Mark Don McInnes, Sandpoint-Idaho
Sandpoint Realty LLC - Sandpoint, ID
North Idaho Real Estate - 208-255.6227

Roses do hold so much beauty, especially for those who take an extra moment to really look.  m

Aug 12, 2024 04:42 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Thank you Mark Don McInnes, Sandpoint-Idaho - I'm rushing out the door to keep an appointment but wanted to say before closing my laptop, do you remember that song, Days of Wine & Roses?  

I say, a day of no whine and a vase or garden of roses always freshens my day with positive thoughts and good wishes to people like you!

May your day be fresh and beautiful. 

Aug 12, 2024 04:56 AM
Peter Mohylsky, Beach Broker
PMI. Destin - Miramar Beach, FL
Call me at 850-517-7098

There is a lot more to be learned as we wander down this road called life.  We learn better by listening than talking.  

Aug 12, 2024 05:58 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Peter Mohylsky, Beach Broker - Wake-up calls can be very enlightening! The inability to listen fully and then put one's own words into the conversation to one-up the other is so unfortunate. So many mistakes are made when professionals don't care to listen carefully or to show respect to others. I completely agree with you, "we learn better by listening." 

Aug 12, 2024 05:02 PM
Bill Salvatore - East Valley
Arizona Elite Properties - Chandler, AZ
Realtor - 602-999-0952 / em: golfArizona@cox.net

Flowers are wonderful, god's creations, great information. Thanks for sharing it.

Have a super fantastic week!

Bill Salvatore, Realtor- Arizona Elite Properties

Aug 12, 2024 06:30 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Bill Salvatore - East Valley - Oh yes! Flowers are God's creations! They are all unique and beautiful. 

I hope you have a great week too!

Aug 12, 2024 05:03 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Good morning, Patricia... another thoughtful and sensitive post so beautifully written. And of course, the roses were beautiful as well. I totally relate to what you're going through with your friend, having lost several in the past couple of years. It's never something you get used to.

Aug 12, 2024 07:53 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Nina Hollander, Broker - thank you. It's never easy to be told bad news. These are the days when the one who has the unfortunate news to tell will respect you most when you give them a chance to talk without preaching about your own experiences. Friend-to-friend. Family-to-Family this is when you're tested most. Now is the time to listen, be supportive, and respond appropriately. Empathetic trust is crucial. 

Aug 12, 2024 05:08 PM
Steve Siegwalt
Realty Austin - Dripping Springs, TX
Experts in Real Estate Relationships!

Absolutely wonderful post. Your friend has an amazing friend in you and I am proud to be able to read such inspiring words from one of our own community.... 

Aug 12, 2024 10:16 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

That is very kind of you, Steve Siegwalt. I have found the way to listen best is to control my own tongue and to listen fully without interruptions and to give the person who is trusting me with their situation space in between without jumping in immediately to talk. Correct use of body language is very helpful to the one whose needs are greater.    

Aug 12, 2024 05:14 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Hi Patricia beautiful post.  And I'm sorry to hear about your dear friend and at the same time so glad you are able to be there for her now. Such a blessing.  We lost a very dear friend almost two years ago and it was a long 3+ years process of saying goodbye.  She was such a beautiful soul that lighted up every room - even to this day! We continue to be here in every way possible for her husband.  Dear friends are a gift and I'm so grateful to have them each and every day.  Take care Patricia - much love to you ❤️

Aug 12, 2024 11:13 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Anna "Banana" Kruchten - it's very hard to say goodbye when you know, you don't know if you'll be given another chance. The sands of time run quick. Over the years, I learned. Always be respectful to others. Those last words before every departure can be hard to live with if you're too busy telling your friend or loved one what you think they need to hear. 

When words are hard to say, I remain vigilant and hold my tongue. Giving the other person my time to listen, or to hold their hand, is more valuable than thinking you have an answer. The truth is, I don't have answers. And I think to myself, I am not God. I am not a doctor. I am not a lawyer. I am not a preacher. I am a friend, just a friend (or loved one) whose actions now are more impactful than canned words.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. The best gifts in life is true friendship. Thank you for your thoughtful response and for caring. Love to you too.  

Aug 12, 2024 05:27 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Understood Patricia....it is hard and I don't believe I ever did say a final goodbye. What I did say was I love you, a lot and listened a lot.  That's what dear friends do, love. And you are that and much more 💗

Aug 12, 2024 05:33 PM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I read a quote this weekend, I will paraphrase I believe it was from Tolstoy, but I may be wrong: Live your life as if it is your honeymoon, but also live your life as if it is your last day. As you say we never know when our time will be up, I feel your pain for your friend, it is so hard when there is little we can do, other than to let them know they are loved and to be kind.

Aug 12, 2024 11:48 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 - I do believe living your life as if it's your last day is the only way to live fully without regrets or hurting other people. 

My friend and mentor always had a smile. She could read my face and say, what's wrong, or do you want to talk about it, without me asking if she could help. To be intuitive to other people's needs and reading faces is truly a gift. I hope I can be more like her.  

Aug 12, 2024 05:39 PM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Patricia all our accomplishments are worthless and meaningless if live a life that is not respectful of others.

Aug 12, 2024 03:25 PM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

George Souto - I think the very first time I understood exactly what respect meant to me was the first time I heard Aretha Franklin sing R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I listened to those lyrics over and over and over again. That's when it hit me. I'm not going to let someone walk all over me, disrespect me, or call me derogatory names. Nor will I be disrespectful to others. 

George, your one-liner says it all! 

Thank you. 

Aug 12, 2024 05:49 PM
Debbie Laity
CinaJones Real Estate - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County

Your rose pictures are beautiful. I'm sorry you are losing such a good friend. It's a very sad time in our lives when that happens. I try to remind myself that grief is a very self-serving emotion, but one we all have to go through. 

 

Aug 12, 2024 03:47 PM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Debbie Laity - I've learned, when someone is facing the end, and they know it, if I'm lucky enough they tell me, it means, they trust me and cared about me, just as much as I cared about them. I am thankful my friend trusted me enough to discuss her situation and I know she is prepared to accept her fate, if that's inevitable, or to put up a fight, a fight for her life, because that is exactly what she wants to do. I promise, I will be there for her today, tomorrow, and always be thinking of her, knowing this is her battle. This is not about me, it's my chance to be an advocate to help her on this very tough journey. 

Aug 12, 2024 05:57 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

There is an elementary school around the corner from my home.  They sometimes flash a sign that reads, "In a world where you can be anything, be kind!"  

Your rose photos are amazing, Patricia!

Aug 12, 2024 05:56 PM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Myrl Jeffcoat - I never saw a school bus flash a sign reading "In a world where you can be anything, be kind." What a beautiful message! Wouldn't it be wonderful if there were more flashing signs like that to raise awareness. If something good is repeat often enough, people most likely will buy into it. 

"In a world where you can be anything, be kind!" That's a beautiful message to internalize and words to live by. Thank you for sharing! 

I'm glad to know you loved my roses and Belgium flowers too!

Aug 12, 2024 06:05 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS Patricia, on having this blog FEATURED in the PHOTOSgroup!

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Aug 12, 2024 05:57 PM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Thanks Myrl Jeffcoat - your brightened my day! 

Aug 12, 2024 06:06 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Reading all of these comments is a reminder that we can do so many things if we just put our mind to trying our best. :))

Aug 12, 2024 11:52 PM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Laura Cerrano - I definitely agree with you. 

As for you, you have a natrual healing touch. 

Aug 13, 2024 07:13 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Patricia,

I'm so happy to see this post featured! Turly a gem with such a heartfelt message! Your photos are stunning as usual! 

Aug 13, 2024 07:04 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Dorie Dillard Austin TX - thank. you. I was very surprised to see it was featured and happy about it too. It's so hard to find the right words when someone you care about is going through this life transistion. 

I'm glad you liked my photos too. 

Aug 13, 2024 07:14 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Patricia:

Such a beautiful and sensitive post filled with valuable life advice and lessons. I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend and mentor! Sending lots of prayers.

Jeff

Aug 13, 2024 05:20 PM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Jeff Dowler, CRS - your prayers are greatly appreciated. I learned long ago, no doctor is a God. She could use all the help she can get through other people's prayers. 

Your comments were also geatly appreciated. 

Aug 13, 2024 07:16 PM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Good morning Patricia. I am so sorry to hear your friend is at the end of her life; that's such a sad time. I am sure she is glad you are there for her. Hugs to you.

On a different topic, regarding the rose pictures, they are all beautiful - I find it interesting that the unopened buds remind me of asparagus spears. Food is always near my mind!

Aug 14, 2024 05:14 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Hi Kat Palmiotti - your empathy is very much appreciated. 

Yes! That's very interesting that the unopened buds reminded you of asparagus spears. The ones I have are actual flowers that come from Belgium and I never saw them before. But it has been interesting and fun to watch how many white flowers bloomed. 

It makes me wonder if asparagus spears can be used in a floral arrangement. Knowing you, I'lll bet you would rather eat them! 

Aug 14, 2024 03:51 PM
Charles Ross - eXp Realty LLC
eXp Realty LLC Salina Group - Salina, KS
Love To Help People

Patricia Feager, your post is a moving tribute to the power of kindness and resilience. The lessons you share are as timeless as they are inspiring. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing these profound thoughts. 🌷 #LifeWisdom #StayInspired

Aug 14, 2024 07:44 AM
Patricia Feager, ABR,CRS,GRI,MRP

Charles Ross - eXp Realty LLC - you always find the right things to say. Also, you are very much appreciated for how you are as a person. It is always a pleasure to hear from you.

Thank you.

Aug 14, 2024 03:53 PM
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA
ePRO, SRES, GRI, PMN

I am sorry to her about your friend. She will certainly be missed by many. She has earned that respect.

Aug 17, 2024 01:02 PM