How to Speak with Confidence When You Don’t Feel It
By Gary Coles, Cowboy Coaching
As a real estate agent, your ability to communicate effectively can make or break your career. Whether you're negotiating a deal, presenting a property, or delivering a pitch to win a client, speaking with confidence is crucial. But what happens when that confidence doesn't come naturally?
This is a struggle even the most successful people in the world have faced. From high-profile business leaders to seasoned real estate pros, the challenge of projecting confidence when you don’t feel it is universal. The good news is, that like any skill, confidence can be cultivated. And it starts with mindset, preparation, and practice.
Let’s dive into how you can speak with confidence—whether you feel it or not—and nail your next listing presentation, client meeting, or business pitch.
1. Know Your Material Inside and Out
Confidence comes from preparation. The more familiar you are with the topic at hand, the more relaxed and composed you will feel when you speak. In the world of real estate, that means having a deep knowledge of your listings, the local market, your clients’ needs, and your competitors.
- "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln
Barbara Corcoran, who built her real estate empire in New York City, said, “The difference between successful people and others is how long they spend feeling sorry for themselves.” Instead of letting insecurity creep in, Corcoran advises agents to focus on being experts in their market and business. This expertise gives you an edge, which translates into confidence during any presentation.
Take a few moments before each client meeting or presentation to:
- Review the property details
- Understand the latest market data
- Anticipate possible questions or objections
When you know your material inside and out, you won’t just feel more confident—you’ll look more confident, too.
2. Leverage Body Language
Even when you’re feeling uncertain, your body can project confidence. In fact, 93% of communication is non-verbal, according to research by communication expert Albert Mehrabian. This means your body language, tone, and posture speak volumes before you even open your mouth.
Tony Robbins, the famed motivational speaker and coach, often talks about the importance of controlling your body language to affect your mental state. By standing tall, making eye contact, and using purposeful hand gestures, you create the appearance of confidence. Robbins explains, “Motion creates emotion.” So, even if you don’t feel strong in the moment, using confident body language can actually trick your mind into feeling more capable.
Here’s how to leverage body language for maximum impact:
- Stand with your shoulders back and head high
- Make consistent eye contact
- Use hand gestures to reinforce key points
- Smile and nod to show engagement
You can practice this in front of a mirror or record yourself on video to see how your body language is coming across.
3. Use Strategic Pauses
One of the easiest ways to sabotage your credibility is by rushing through your words. When people are nervous, they tend to speak quickly, which can make you seem unsure or frantic. Instead, practice pausing strategically.
Pauses serve several functions:
- They give you time to gather your thoughts
- They allow the audience to process what you’ve said
- They create the perception of confidence and control
Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker and author, teaches people to harness the power of the pause. “If you just pause, your mind will catch up to your mouth,” she says. Pausing before answering a difficult question or during a critical part of your presentation signals that you’re thoughtful, deliberate, and in control. It also prevents you from filling the silence with filler words like “um” and “uh,” which can diminish your authority.
When you’re giving a listing presentation, use pauses to emphasize key selling points. Instead of rushing through every feature of the home, take your time. Let each point sink in. Pauses are your secret weapon for sounding composed—even when you're nervous inside.
4. Focus on Your Client, Not Yourself
When nervousness creeps in, it's easy to become self-conscious and worry about how you’re being perceived. But the key to overcoming that is to shift the focus away from yourself and onto your client.
- “We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” - Bill Gates
In real estate, the feedback you get from your clients helps you stay attuned to their needs. When you concentrate on understanding their goals and concerns, rather than worrying about how you come across, your confidence naturally grows.
Start by asking your clients questions and actively listening to their responses. Instead of focusing on your own nerves, immerse yourself in their perspective:
- What do they need?
- What are their concerns?
- How can you solve their problems?
When you’re focused on solving their problems, your own insecurities will naturally take a backseat.
5. Seek Feedback and Coaching
Even the most successful people have coaches to help them refine their skills. Oprah Winfrey, for example, has openly praised her life coach for helping her manage her emotions and maintain perspective. Similarly, Eric Schmidt, former CEO of Google, credits coaching for helping him navigate complex business challenges.
In the real estate industry, where every interaction with a client can have a direct impact on your income, coaching can be the difference between closing deals and missing opportunities. A coach can help you refine your communication skills, identify areas for improvement, and practice techniques for speaking confidently.
- "Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast, or a bridge player." - Bill Gates
If you're struggling to project confidence in client meetings, presentations, or pitches, my free 15-minute consultation can help you identify your strengths and areas for improvement. Together, we can work on strategies that will empower you to speak with confidence and authority, regardless of the situation.
Conclusion: Confidence Comes with Practice and Preparation
Confidence is not something you’re born with. It’s a skill you build through practice, preparation, and the right support. Even industry giants like Oprah, Bill Gates, and Tony Robbins have leaned on coaching to enhance their communication abilities. If they needed it, so do we all.
Whether you're preparing for a high-stakes listing presentation, negotiating with clients, or delivering a pitch, speaking with confidence is a critical part of your success. By preparing thoroughly, mastering your body language, embracing pauses, and focusing on your client's needs, you’ll project confidence—even if you don’t always feel it
- "Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day" - Jim Rohn
If you're ready to take your real estate career to the next level, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me. Together, we can work on honing your communication skills, so you can nail every presentation and win over every client with confidence.
Here’s what you can expect from my upcoming posts:
- The Secrets to an Effective Listing Presentation
- Mastering Buyer Interviews: Questions to Ask and How to Read Their Responses
- Public Speaking 101: How to Engage Any Audience
- How to Prepare for the Toughest Questions in Interviews or Presentations
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Gary Coles
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