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Marney Kirk Introspective Gratitude 2024

By
Real Estate Agent with Cummings & Co. Realtors

Gratitude.

This word often comes up in the month of November due to the Thanksgiving holiday.

This month's ActiveRain Challenge is about Gratitude, and it really got me thinking.

Earlier this month, I thanked our Veterans. Somehow I didn't piece together it could be considered a Gratitude post. But it is. I cannot thank our Veterans enough for what they and their families sacrifice for our Country.

Now, I think and consider my family and the different types of gratitude I have.

I lost my father in 2011 a week before Christmas. He fought cancer for over 8 years, and we thought he beat it...when it came back this time, it was only a few months before we lost him. He was young. I was devastated.

I lost my mother on December 30, 2023. This leaves only my brother and me from our childhood immediate family.

My mother was a big personality and really helped to shape who I am. What can I be grateful for with her passing? 

Her quick illness and death really has brought my brother and me closer together. While I have worked with other families selling their family home after their parent dies, and sometimes there is anger, argument, and frustration between siblings, this experience for my brother and me has been very different.

Though I am executor of the estate, I check with him on everything. I want him to know that he is a part of each step and decision. We discuss and come to agreements. Heck, I think we have talked more in the past 11 months than the total of the past 11 years. (While I am sort of kidding, since their family comes to my house for Thanksgiving and Christmas from out of state, we don't usually talk this much throughout the year.)

We both have seniors in high school getting ready to go to college. We are bonding over the stress of applications and waiting to hear responses.

We have had better and deeper discussions about our lives and our families, and I am grateful that the loss of our mother to have brought us closer together. 

Now, I am thinking of how my mother often called me "Pollyanna" growing up since I almost always try to see the bright side of situations. I guess some things never change. Thanks, Mom. Love you.

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Footnote: If the Pollyanna reference doesn't register, here is a Wikipedia page about the book, and below, a quote from the page:

" "Pollyanna" has become a byword for someone who, like the title character, has an unfailingly optimistic outlook; a subconscious bias towards the positive is often described as the Pollyanna principle. Despite the current common use of the term to mean "excessively cheerful", Pollyanna and her father played the glad game as a method of coping with the real difficulties and sorrows that, along with luck and joy, shape every life."

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For any real estate needs in Towson, Maryland or around the Baltimore Metropolitan area,

THINK MARNEY IN MARYLAND!

Marney Kirk

Cummings & Co. Realtors

108 W. Timonium Road, Suite 100, Timonium, MD 21093

E-mail: marney@realtormarney.com 

Website: www.realtormarney.com 

Office: 410-823-0033 Cell: 410-493-4884

Show All Comments Sort:
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Marney,
I love your post and that you are a Pollyanna! I am one of those people too. I am glad your brother and you have become closer during your grief for the loss of your parents, most recently your Mother. That happened for my brother and me, too, after the loss of both of our parents but it happened much earlier in our lives. 

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving week with your brother and his family!

Nov 25, 2024 04:43 AM
Marney Kirk

Hi Carol, I am glad you were able to become closer to your brother, too, though I am sorry to hear you lost them early in your lives.

Dec 28, 2024 07:11 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I have a lot of gratitude for veterans as well since I would never want to serve myself.

Nov 25, 2024 05:03 AM
Marney Kirk

Me too, Brian! My grandfathers both served, and my father was a civilian working for the Navy - he couldn't serve because he was color blind!

Dec 28, 2024 07:11 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I am glad you and your brother have become closer - it's so true that in some families, the reverse happens and that's such a shame. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Nov 25, 2024 05:04 AM
Marney Kirk

Hi Kat! Thank you! I hope you had a lovely holiday season! Happy New Year!

Dec 28, 2024 07:12 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Marney - life continues to change and evolve in ways we may expect but maybe are not fully prepared.  Your introspective look is one which may be so familiar to others.  Right now, in the past or perhaps yet times yet to come.  

Nov 25, 2024 05:43 AM
Marney Kirk

Very true, Michael! Thank you!

Dec 28, 2024 07:12 AM
Ralph Gorgoglione
Metro Life Homes - Palm Springs, CA
California and Hawaii Real Estate (310) 497-9407

Oh, gosh, thank you so much for sharing your journey.  I lost my Mom 4 years ago and it seems the world hasn't been the same since then.

Nov 25, 2024 05:50 AM
Marney Kirk

Hi Ralph, the world won't ever be the same without them in it. I am sorry for your loss.

Dec 28, 2024 07:12 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I am sorry for your losses, but think your positive outlook had helped you as you move through the grieving process. Having lost my parents and my sister I often think of them and wish I had had just a little more time with each. I never forget to tell my sons how much I love them and how proud I am of each one of them.

Nov 25, 2024 07:42 AM
Marney Kirk

Nick, your sons will always know how much you love them and are proud of them. That is awesome!

Dec 28, 2024 07:13 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Marney:

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of both of your parents, but glad to hear the recent loss of your mom has brought you and your brother closer together. 

Jeff

Nov 25, 2024 12:17 PM
Marney Kirk

Thank you, Jeff!

Dec 28, 2024 07:13 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Marney=I am very sorry for the loss of your father to cancer at a young age, and now for the loss of your mother last December. Holidays may seem hard but it looks like the "Pollyanna" outlook works for you!  I say that because I'm a bit of a Pollyanna as well. You proved that when you mentioned that you and your brother have become closer. 

Nov 25, 2024 06:33 PM
Marney Kirk

Thank you, Kathy! I think the world needs some of us "Pollyannas"! :)

Dec 28, 2024 07:14 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Continue to find the bright side of situations and have an enjoyable holiday season. You reminded me of the times when I handled the estates for my parents and became responsible for the education of my younger sisters.

Nov 26, 2024 04:26 AM
Marney Kirk

Thank you, Roy. You taking on the education of your younger sisters showed your parents picked the right person to handle things when they passed. I am sorry for your losses.

Dec 28, 2024 07:14 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Oswego, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Marney. Sometimes focusing on the brighter side of things makes the grief a bit easier to handle. Enjoy your day.

Nov 30, 2024 04:50 AM
Marney Kirk

Yes it does, thank you, Wayne!

Dec 28, 2024 07:15 AM
Charles Ross - eXp Realty LLC
eXp Realty LLC Salina Group - Salina, KS
Love To Help People

Marney Kirk, your heartfelt reflection on gratitude is so touching! 🌟 Even in moments of loss, you’ve found ways to celebrate connection and resilience with your family. Thank you for sharing this inspiring story—it’s a beautiful reminder to cherish every moment. 💖 #StayGrateful #FamilyFirst #PollyannaSpirit

Nov 30, 2024 06:40 AM
Marney Kirk

Thank you so much, Charles!

Dec 28, 2024 07:15 AM
Leanne Smith
Dirt Road Real Estate - Golden Valley, AZ
The Grit and Gratitude Agent

Having a supportive sibling during difficult times is a huge plus.  Thank you for sharing your wonderful and inspiring story.

Nov 30, 2024 09:09 AM
Marney Kirk

Thank you, Leanne!

Dec 28, 2024 07:15 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good afternoon Marney Kirk ,

What a wonderful Post, I loved reading your story, you are an inspiration.! Your mom was right you area Pollyanna, and that's a wonderful thing!

Nov 30, 2024 12:07 PM
Marney Kirk

Thank you so much, Dorie!

Dec 28, 2024 07:15 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Nov 30, 2024 07:12 PM
Marney Kirk

Thank you, Kathy!

Dec 28, 2024 07:15 AM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

I am so glad that you have your brother to go through these experiences with!  I am an only child but I am happy to see that my daughter and son are growing closer as she matures.  They are 15 years apart so it has taken a little time to find a common ground but it is working now! 

Dec 01, 2024 06:16 AM
Marney Kirk

I only have one child, so I understand about the only child piece. I wonder how hard it will be when it's time...but I can't go back and change having only one at this point!

Dec 28, 2024 07:16 AM
Steffy Hristova
HomeSmart Elite Group Tempe AZ Tel: 602.710.8161 - Tempe, AZ
Tempe AZ Realtor - Your Home Close to Your Work!

Hi Marney, 

Now I learned a new thing - Pollyanna. I am glad that you are bonding more with your brother, and you are keeping him in the loop on dealing with the estate. It's not easy to part with so many memories, sometimes time helps a bit. 

Dec 01, 2024 03:28 PM
Marney Kirk

I realized without my mother calling me Pollyanna throughout my life that I would have no idea about the reference! 

Dec 28, 2024 07:17 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Marney Kirk  I have never connected with you before thanks to Kathy Streib  featuring your post, I will start following and interacting with you. Sadly, I understand your pain and having lost both of my parents I can relate, but I look back at the wonderful times we had together, and I am grateful for it, Endre

Dec 01, 2024 09:40 PM
Marney Kirk

I am so sorry for your loss of your parents, Endre.

Dec 28, 2024 07:17 AM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Good morning,  Marney Kirk 

Thanking your parents feels good and helps bring siblings closer—it’s a lovely way to create special family moments! And you've done just that.

Dec 02, 2024 05:51 AM
Marney Kirk

Thank you, Margaret!

Dec 28, 2024 07:17 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Oh, Marney, I love this post on so many levels. First, I'm so sorry that you have lost your mother and your father. It's difficult having only the siblings 'left.'

Your mother had MUCH to do with you and your brother now being close! I'm sure she's so very proud of you both and how you, as executor, managed the very difficult task you had to manage. It's so difficult when you're so broken hearted, having to deal with things you never, ever wanted to have to manage. 

You're such an inspiration and I love that we share that "Pollyanna" title too!

Dec 08, 2024 04:50 PM
Marney Kirk

Thank you, Debe! Always happy to meet another Pollyanna! The world needs us! :) 

Dec 28, 2024 07:18 AM
Marney Kirk
Cummings & Co. Realtors - Towson, MD
Towson, Maryland Real Estate

Hopefully I responded to all, thank you for your comments. It was hard for me to revisit this post. I apologize for my delay in responding! Thank you!

Dec 28, 2024 07:18 AM