As many of you know, I am an expat, a dual-passport-carrying international transplant who has called Maryland home for 2+ decades. Maryland, and more specifically Howard County, is home, but Landsberg, a small town outside of Halle, Germany will always be home home.
I travel back to my motherland once or twice a year (catch a few glimpses here)
and always wish I could go more often, or stay longer. The one thing, I suspect, every expat learns quickly is that time is the most precious gift. A visit can never compensate for all the things you miss, all the birthdays, anniversaries, giving and receiving support when needed, memorial services, reunions, and all the firsts of the littlest family members. But, every visit stays with you. Every visit is a mission to create memories, to cherish the moments, and to find joy in the ordinary.
It was December of 2012 when my children and I surprised my mom for her big birthday. My sister had been in on it. We met at her house and then drove over to my parent's house just fifteen minutes away. It was the 26th, the day after my mom's birthday (and still Christmas in Germany). My sister rang the doorbell and told my mom that there was a present that she had forgotten to give her the day before... We ran around the corner and straight into her arms. The most precious gift I could give my mom was - and still is - time with us.
It was sometime in 2016 when my parents broke the news to us that my dad had been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. In December that year, he turned 70 and my children and I were supposed to be surprise guests at his big birthday bash. Unfortunately, a blizzard happened and we got stuck in Iceland on our way there. The thought counts, too though (who am I kidding, it sucked to miss out on it). But at least our delay didn't take away from how special our present was. My siblings and I decided to gift my dad a family vacation and booked a two-week stay at the most beautiful cottage in Denmark for the following summer. It was a vacation for the memory books, precious time spent together that we all will never forget.
It was the summer of 2018 when I saw my grandmother Martha for the last time. I used to go over with some cake or pastries for coffee (that's a German thing, literally every afternoon), and just talk. We'd reminisce, marvel at how fast her great-grandchildren were growing up and how obviously awesome they all are, and share our hopes for the future. Despite seeing my Omi in great spirits and without major health issues that summer of 2018, I just had a feeling. I felt this pull, this urge to run back, knock on her door, and hug her just one more time after we had left. I am so so glad I did. It was the last time I saw her. It was the last time I hugged her. I miss her every day and wish we could have had more time.
So, as an expat, dual-passport-carrying international transplant whose entire family (but for my two sidekicks) resides across the pond, I am here to suggest the one gift for the person who has everything (and for everyone else, too), time. We have but a finite supply and don't know when it will run out for us or for any of our loved ones.
What do you gift the person who has everything? Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400 and Carol Williams challenged us to ponder for this month's ActiveRain Challenge.
Give the gift of time, and put a bow on it. It is the most precious gift we have to give.
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