Many people are currently struggling with the gift buying process for Christmas. There are lots of articles and blogs about the "most thoughtful"; however, that made me wonder about the least thoughtful gifts. This blog is dedicated to the clueless humans that think some of these gifts are even worthy of giving.
My most memorable "least thoughtful" gift I ever gave my wife was a fish tank. I thought she would enjoy the peaceful tranquility watching the fish. She said "Wow, you bought me a fish tank for Christmas!" Evidently, spoken in different tones, it has an entirely different meaning. Who knew?
I started wondering about other subliminal meanings of various presents. For example, gift cards may not just represent gift cards. If you buy someone a generic $50 prepaid Visa card, does that mean you care so much for them that you want them to pick the store and the item to buy for themselves since you were too lazy to give it any thought yourself? Are you stereotyping your loved ones assuming they are a Walmart shopper verses giving them a Tiffany's gift card? Oh wait, I think you can possibly use the Tiffany's $50 gift card to pay your sales tax is all. Due to the scammers typically requesting gift cards, I have marked them off my list of options.
Instead, maybe I will start saving all my completed coffee and other punch cards and give them away as free (drink) coupons they can use then they want. That way, they effectively gave "the finger" to paying sales tax. What a perfect gift for your anti-IRS friends!
I also don't understand how to correctly and caringly buy clothes for people as presents. Am I supposed to buy them a size too big to make them feel like they have lost weight or will I insult them thinking they are fat if I did that? If I accidently buy them too small, am I implying they should lose weight? I know, by them a gift card for clothes, problem solved!
This time of year, there are a lot of gift exchange parties including white elephant exchanges. My favorite prank gifts so far include: a box of batteries with a not saying "device not included"; Ziplock bags of "preboiled water - just reheat"; a bag with buttons, a scarf and a carrot labeled as a "snowman kit - just add snow"; etc. These gifts may indeed be priceless, but at least they might bring a much needed smile.
One friend of mine is really into genealogy. They gave their kids an Ancestry.com DNA kit so they can study their heritage. However, seeing some people's behavior on business trips or just in general, wait, maybe this gift should be thought out first!
Rumor has it, you also shouldn't buy your wife cleaning supplies for her birthday, Christmas or Anniversary. While you might think you are acknowledging how hard they work being your domestic servant and helping them upgrade their tools of trade, it doesn't go over as well as you receiving a new cordless drill.
I remember for my 14th birthday, my brother gave me a card promising me a new bicycle. It also included the next weeks work schedule my name on it so I could start earning my bike. I was like, really? That job was actually a great present.
Last year, I received a very special gift. A lady I was dating loved the Christmas season, spirit and the holiday themes. She made me this really nice Snowman on flannel shirt. I wear it almost every time I go to a Christmas function and skiing all winter. It was perfect for me!
She didn't think I was perfect for her, so our relationship ended shortly afterwards, but I still look back and cherish the gift and the memories. Isn't that the true intent of giving a gift?
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