The Invisible Gifts from My Dad, the Man Who Shaped My Heart and Soul
Some gifts are wrapped in ribbons and bows, easily seen and appreciated in the moment. Others, the most precious ones, are invisible—woven so deeply into who you are that they shape every decision, every relationship and every step forward. My dad gave me—and continues to give me—those kinds of gifts. You know, the kind that don’t sit on a shelf but, live in my heart and guide my life every single day.
My dad was and still is, more than a dad to me. He has always been a quiet force of wisdom, kindness and absolutely unwavering strength. He taught me patience, love and the kind of compassion that doesn’t just feel but, acts. He was my first and best example of what true integrity looks like—not just in words but, in action. In his 89th year, he continues to inspire me.
A Life of Service and Honor
Before he was my dad, he was a proud serviceman in the US Air Force. His military years shaped him in ways that, in turn, shaped me. The habits he carried from his service—punctuality, discipline and an unshakable love for this country—became the standards by which he lives. He loves all things USA—and let me tell you, there was no flag too small or too big for him to display. And yes, he taught me how to make a bed the right way—tightly tucked, angled corners, smooth sheets - no excuses!
Beyond the ‘rituals’ of military precision, he carried something deeper from his years of service: an understanding of sacrifice, loyalty and resilience. He NEVER complained (and still, never does), he never backed down from a challenge and never ‘excluded’ ANYONE. His patriotism wasn’t just about waving a flag; it was about showing up (and ON TIME), doing the work and honoring commitments. And that’s exactly how he lives his life.
The Marriage That Showed Me What Love Really Is
For 66 years, my dad loved my mother with a love and devotion that was nothing short of extraordinary. In a world that often mistakes grandiose gestures for true love, he showed me that love is in the little things—the unspoken support, the quiet reassurances, the inside jokes that last a lifetime and the ‘death-do-us-part’ of that commitment. For the last 5 years of her life, he was her caregiver. Still, he never tired of the incredibly difficult challenges he faced as a caregiver—and not once did he complain.
Through them, I saw what it meant to be a true partner. To care deeply, to listen even when you’ve heard the same story a hundred times, to put someone else’s needs before your own - not out of obligation but, out of love. I’m sure their marriage wasn’t perfect but, I never knew if it was or wasn’t. All I ever saw was that it was real and it was beautiful. And it set the standard for what love should look like in my own life.
I Am My Father’s Child
There’s no doubt that I am my father’s child. Eternal optimism? That’s him. A relentless work ethic? Hmm, him, too. And perhaps most importantly, a deep well of empathy for others—seeing people not just for what they show on the surface but, for who they are beneath it all. Perhaps that’s what led to my first career as a Registered Nurse.
Because of him, I know the value of hard work and the importance of showing up, not just for myself but for others—and ON TIME! Because of him, I understand that kindness is strength, that love isn’t just something you say but, something you DO - and that no matter how crazy life gets, you can always take a moment to smooth the sheets and straighten the corners of every aspect of your life.
His legacy isn’t just in the stories I tell or the memories I will always cherish; it’s in me. It’s in the way I treat people, the way I face challenges head-on and the way I strive to make the world a little better than I found it.
The greatest gifts my dad gave me were never wrapped. They were lived—and delivered with love. And because of him, I carry them forward every day.
***The featured photo was taken in the early spring, 2023. My mother had passed away in January and we went to help Daddy plan for a move. My mother had always moved us - Dad was always sent to the next assignment and Mom had to manage everything to do with the move. This was the first move he actually had to manage in his entire life! I still have no earthly idea how he (and my brother and me--mostly my brother) managed to move and distribute 6,000 square feet to various charities and then what was left, into a 1,700 SF home!
The story was to share with you that in the photo, there wasn't an ounce of worry or stress on his face. He was 87 then, and still, an incredibly inspiring man.
A HUGE thank you to Patricia Feager & Lew Corcoran for hosting this month's challenge. We appreciate all you do for our amazing community!
© Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | Savvy + Company | SavvyBroker@me.com | The Invisible Gifts from My Dad, the Man Who Shaped My Heart and Soul
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