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My Dad & How He Inspired & Shaped Me To Be A Woman

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Industry Observer 0506509

The March 2025 AR Challenge: Sharing The Gift Of Who You Are is for members on ActiveRain. The inspiration for this challenge comes from the 2002 Commencement Speech from Mr. Rogers, "It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood." Follow the link above for instructions, criteria, and how points will be distributed. Below is the story about my father and the profound impact he had by shaping me into who you think you know today:

 

I am my father's third child. Eventually, we were a family of seven: Parents and five girls. Although I always knew he wanted a boy, I heard the story about the day I was born. My mother told me, our family Doctor told my father I was going to be his first son. He was so happy. But on the day, I was born, my mother said, he nearly punched the doctor in the nose, when the Doc said: Are you trying to start an all-girl baseball team?

My father was an inspiration in many ways. He was always surrounded by females, even the dog was a girl. This was the first marriage for both of my parents, and they stayed married. This year, he would have been 100 years old. Even though he would have loved to have a son, it didn’t stop him from showing us girls how much he loved us and cared. My earliest memories are of him always taking responsibility for our family. I am my father's daughter, and he put standards in place, including teaching me skills to enjoy life. Because of him, I learned how to:

  • Play Baseball and play fairly. 
  • Ride a Tricycle and watch out for others on the sidewalk.
  • Ride a Bicycle with Training Wheels!
  • Ride a two-wheeler Bicycle without falling down!
  • Hike in the Woods!
  • Fish on shore and in the boat!
  • Barbeque for our weekly summer and Fall picnics!

These few activities taught me how to be a team player, always be fair, and to be careful when learning anything new that you don't hurt or can cause harm to others. When you go out into the woods or into the world, always be careful, pay attention, and stay safe. Whether you're on the street, sidewalk, on the shore, or in a boat, follow the rules. Keep your eyes open and stay balanced so you don't hurt yourself or others. 


Nor could I forget and never stop being grateful for my father who cared:

He took me to the Eye Doctor for new Eyeglasses!

He rushed me to the Hospital from Riverview Amusement Park when I was in an accident! 

He rushed me to the Hospital in time before my Appendix ruptured!

He rushed me to the Hospital when a merchant left a pipe on the curb that fell on my head, leaving me on the sidewalk unconscious!

He rushed me out of the Dentist Office when I called him after getting married because the doctor pulled my wisdom teeth out and I didn’t stop bleeding!


My father taught me to be grateful. He explained I am responsible for my health and "never put off until tomorrow, what you can do today." If you think something is wrong, tell someone! Keep your eyes and ears open, especially when you're in public. Get references for doctors before you schedule an appointment. And most of all, you're never too old to say thank you. 

 

My dad also taught me important life lessons:

To always act like a lady: He reminded me before leaving the house to always be a lady and dress appropriately!

To always be careful how I appeared to others, especially boys and men.

To always strive to be respected, and to remember you start with self-respect.

To never lie, cheat, or steal.

To always be helpful. For example, from the time I was capable of picking up a hammer, he taught me how to pound nails in the picket fence and help him mend fences and wooden steps.

To always be punctual: That’s how you get a job; and hopefully, keep a job.

To never be late: That’s how you earn respect.

To read the Newspaper in addition to books.

We have invisible gifts. From my father, I especially remember the sacrifices Veterans, do for our country. My dad always bought poppies on Remembrance Day. Also, he always kept change in his pockets for the Salvation Army and homeless people living in Chicago alleys. Plus, we always went to the Memorial Day's Parade, and the Fourth of July Parade. My dad was my Hero. He volunteered at 17 to serve during the WW11. At home, he believed in keeping everything clean, running a tight ship, and always being on time. 


I never realized how much I would miss my dad after he passed away. When I got the news on the morning after Thanksgiving Day, I was crushed. My heart hurt so much. I never knew how much pain I would feel, after he was gone. To heal, I kept a journal and wrote about the good things that I learned from him. So, in passing, if there is ever a time when I did something for you, and you appreciated it, just know, I am my father's daughter. Whatever I learned from him, I pass on to you. 

Thanks Lew Corcoran for being a fine host with me on this journey for the March 2025 AR Challenge: Sharing the Gift of Who You Are. I appreciate all you've done and thankful you didn't hesitate to say yes. 

Posted by

Patricia Feager

Comments(12)

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George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Patricia five daughters was not enough for a baseball team, BUT it was enough for a basketball team. 🤣

Mar 04, 2025 09:03 AM
Patricia Feager

George Souto Our family doctor was like family. Plus, he knew many of our personal family members. I had many cousins. 

You're right, 5 girls wasn't enough for a baseball team, but our family doctor did house calls and knew my parents very well. I remember going to the doctor's office and the doctor sat down and talked to us and he gave us kids lolly pops too!

Mar 04, 2025 09:10 AM
Lew Corcoran
Better Living Real Estate, LLC - East Bridgewater, MA
Expert guidance. Exceptional results.

Your heartfelt tribute to your dad is truly inspiring, Patricia Feager! It's clear how much he shaped your values and the person you are today, and I can’t thank you enough for sharing such a personal story with us. It reminds us all of the profound impact our loved ones have on our lives.

 

Also, it’s a great pleasure to be on this journey with you for the challenge. Your stories truly resonate, and I’m grateful for the chance to collaborate and share these meaningful experiences together and with others. Let’s keep inspiring each other!

Mar 04, 2025 09:18 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Hi Patricia... what an amazing man your father was and your love for him shines through in every sentence of this post. I had no real relationship with my father and to this day have always wished I'd had a father figure in my life like yours. I also did not fully know how much I'd miss my mother until after she died. 

Mar 04, 2025 09:50 AM
Patricia Feager

Nina Hollander, Broker - I was even worse after my mother passed away. My dad played a crucial role as head of the household during a time when my mother was like many others after the war. Even on her death certificate she was listed as a Housewife and they printed her as Mrs. (my father's first name), and our family last name (without referencing her maiden name.) 

Your tribute to your mother was written with tender love and gratitude. 

Mar 04, 2025 04:20 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker

Patricia Feager how interesting... my mother did not have any occupation listed on her death certificate. Of course, since she was divorced there was not man's name listed on it either. I'm sure when I die I won't be listed as Mrs. Christiaan Hollander... I've never used it. Christiaan is my husband's name, not mine, as I always say.

Mar 05, 2025 05:34 AM
Patricia Feager

Nina Hollander, Broker - I have my mother's death certificate. She did not die in Texas. I was appalled when I receive a copy. 

Mar 05, 2025 05:46 AM
GilbertRealtor BillSalvatore
Arizona Elite Properties - Chandler, AZ
Realtor - 602-999-0952 / em: golfArizona@cox.net

A great Navy Man, you should be so proud. Thank you for sharing the information. Wishing you continued success. Have a wonderful day and sell a house. Bill

Bill Salvatore, Realtor- Arizona Elite Properties

Mar 04, 2025 10:30 AM
Patricia Feager

Bill Salvatore - East Valley - I really liked his tasteful tattoos on his arms too. And of course, he watched Popeye with us kids on Saturday morning. Every Grandson, including my son received a little sailor suit when they were old enough to walk. 

I hope you'll be inspired to write some posts for the March challenge too. Everyone has a story with invisible gifts inside. 

Mar 04, 2025 04:25 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
Retired Broker/Owner - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Ahhhh you are such a lucky girl to have had such a wonderful and loving Father who took his job very seriously Patricia.  Such a gift to give his daughters - all 5 of you!  I can see you learning to ride with 'training' wheels ( I did too) and how good did that feel when you finally graduated to no training wheels.  Success!!  And  your Dad was probably close by clapping and cheering you on!!  Right!!

Mar 04, 2025 10:35 AM
Patricia Feager

Anna "Banana" Kruchten - As a kid, I did not know how my father compared to other kids and their fatherly experiences or expectations. For this challenge, I really took Mr. Rogers' Commencement Speech to heart. Reflections, without interruptions, cleanses the soul and can make one think just how lucky they are when they receive comments, like yours. 

To be honest, I never considered myself lucky, but reading your comment brought clarity in ways, I didn't think before. 

Thank you.  

Mar 05, 2025 05:54 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

I see it as lucky in that we had Fathers that cared about us and took the time to teach us the ropes of life and living!!  I know folks that did not have Fathers like that by a long shot.....and that is sad to me.  That's why I thank my lucky stars or whatever you call them and am grateful for it all.

Mar 05, 2025 10:36 AM
Jeff Masich-Scottsdale AZ Associate Broker,MBA,GRI
HomeSmart Real Estate - Scottsdale, AZ
Arizona Homes and Land Group/ Buy or Sell

What great memories Patricia. You are blessed. By the way,  I see the resemblance in your Dad's smile and yours. Jeff

Mar 04, 2025 11:11 AM
Patricia Feager

Jeff Masich-Scottsdale AZ Associate Broker,MBA,GRI 

Come to think of it, I think you're right. I do have an invisible gift from my dad each time I smile. 

I really hope you'll be kind enough to write your own stories about the invisible gifts you've received in life. 

Mar 05, 2025 04:25 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Patricia - our parents play important roles in our lives.  Sometimes their parts become more pronounced or profound because of their own personalities.  It's long been interesting to me to learn about family dynamics and how they can impact each of us.   I appreciate the story you share in this post and your ability to relay it.  

Mar 05, 2025 04:01 AM
Patricia Feager

Michael Jacobs - I think as children, we don't really pay much attention to the invisible gifts our parents give us because we're too busy growing up, eating, getting new shoes and clothes because of our growth, and before you know it, we're big enough to go out on our own. 

Studying family life within the environment is a very interesting topic.

Thank you!

Mar 05, 2025 04:28 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Good morning, and what a wonderful entry into this month's challenge. I find it interesting how many of the AR females found their dads to be one of (or the) greatest influences in our lives. I will be writing about my dad shortly as well.

Mar 05, 2025 05:21 AM
Patricia Feager

Happy Wednesday, Kat Palmiotti!

Between yours and Anna "Banana" Kruchten comment, I hadn't thought about why many "AR females" wrote about their dad first. I can speak for myself; I had no idea who I was going to write about until I spent enough time to really listen to Mr. Rogers' Commencement Speech, then silent time reflecting on my personal experiences. 

As a single parent, it wasn't easy. Challenges were many. I read a book a very long time ago, after my spouse passed away. I remembered something that really helped.

Remember, I'm much older now from when that book was written. It said girls spend a lot of time with their mothers. But when they become near or are teenagers, they need guidance from their father's more than their mother because it will influence their choices when they are ready to marry. What a girl is looking for is their father to set the guidelines for how they behave before marriage. It is only natural to break away from the mother.  It is common for girls to push away from their mother. This is the time, when girls need their fathers more than ever.

Mar 05, 2025 06:06 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Interesting Patricia Feager - thank you!

Mar 05, 2025 06:34 AM
Carol Williams

Kat Palmiotti 
My Dad was the first one that came to mind too. But, me being me, I had to mix it up and took a different route for my first post. 😊

Mar 06, 2025 07:45 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Good morning, Patricia.

What a lovely tribute to your father! Your words capture the depth of his love, dedication, and the invaluable life lessons he instilled in you. Despite his initial hopes for a son, he fully embraced fatherhood with daughters, teaching strength, fairness, and responsibility. The skills and values he shared, whether through baseball, biking, or simple life principles, clearly shaped the person you are today.

Every child should hope for such a father.

 

Mar 05, 2025 06:18 AM
Patricia Feager

Carol Williams - that you for your complimentary comment. It meant the world to me! Do kids really understand the invisible gifts they receive every day when they have parents? Oh, the things we kids took for granted. Every family is different, but the only one I knew growing up was my own.

Just like there are many different plants and trees, no two parents are alike.

Mar 06, 2025 06:46 AM
Carol Williams

Patricia Feager 
I think we understand later how our parents influenced us in subtle ways. I know I do.

Mar 06, 2025 07:38 AM
Patricia Feager

Carol Williams - unfortunately, sickness and death doesn't discriminate with age. The best part about you is, you grew up fast, more mature, and educated better than your lower classroom peers. 

What's interesting to me, is we only pick up and keep certain memories but there is still a lot lodged inside us. I think this has been a good exercise for all of us, do you agree?

Mar 06, 2025 08:52 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks, Patricia, for this special blog post. It is a wonderful tribute to your father.

Mar 06, 2025 06:43 AM
Patricia Feager

Roy Kelley - thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

Mar 06, 2025 06:47 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good grief Patricia Feager how did I miss your post! I'm so glad you posted all the entries in your post as I found yours. Wonderful tribute to your dad! He embraced being a girl's dad and really made a difference in your life!

Mar 07, 2025 11:32 AM
Barbara Michaluk
Weichert Realtors | Phone Direct 240-506-2434 | 301-681-0550 office - Silver Spring, MD
Leisure World Specialist / Full Service REALTOR

Patricia, Thanks for sharing this heart warming story of all that your dad taught you and how he loved you in so many ways even though you weren't a boy. haha. I was also one of seven children and any time spent with parents was cherished. It sounds like you had so many special moments that you can look back on and appreciate now.

Mar 08, 2025 07:16 AM