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Challenge: Who helped shape me? Pat Cooney did.

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with eXp Commercial, Referral Divison RRE-BRO-LIC-75443

Patricia Feager and Lew Corcoran are hosting a March challenge which is about Sharing the Gift of Who You Are. Our challenge is to share the impact someone had which helped shape who we are today. Similar to several other posters, I've just got to start this challenge by talking about my dad, Pat Cooney.

Or better yet, maybe I should start by talking about who I am, because who shaped me impacted the me I am today. So...

  • I am independent, totally fine with doing things by myself. Ask me about the time I took myself to Baltimore Harbor for a weekend trip which included attending a spur-of-the-moment Oriole's game and enjoying the restaurants and aquarium. Or the time I flew to a spa on a Caribbean island, again alone.  I've gone to movies alone many times. I'm of the mindset that if you want to do something, don't let not having company stop you!
  • I do what I say I will do. I honor my commitments. If I tell you I'm going to do something, you can be sure it'll happen.
  • I'm early for almost everything. At the very least, I'm never late. This kind of goes with previous comment. If I say I'll be there at 10am, I'll by there BY 10am.
  • I make decisions, I'm not afraid to do hard things, or to say what I think. I think about what I'm doing. There's a reason for everything I do.
  • I'm curious. I'm adventurous. I love trying and learning new things. I am a voracious reader.
  • I like to laugh and do it often.

So can I "blame" my dad, Pat Cooney, for instilling any of those traits in me? Yes, yes, I can.

So here are just a few things I will share about my memories of my dad, specifically those that had a part in the traits above.

In terms of never being late - My dad would stand near the door tapping his watch and stating, "Cooneys are never late!" I still get a bit anxious if I'm rushing out the door at the last minute. And it's not really the last minute. It's always early but to me it feels late.

Then there's the curious/adventurous/learning new things Dad. My dad and mom were both very smart, and they encouraged us to think for ourselves so we were always learning things. We had a set of encyclopedias and if we wanted to know about a topic, we had to look it up or go to the library. If we wanted to know how to spell a word, we had to look it up ourselves (the argument "But how am I supposed to look it up if I don't know how to spell it?" didn't work!). We went to the library weekly.

Also, my dad set a great example by always learning new things and being adventurous. He learned all about stamp collecting and became a serious collector. He got a motorcycle license when I was a young teenager. He picked me up one day when I was walking to a friends house - I didn't even know he had a bike or a license. I just heard a motorcycle slowing down behind me and when he got to me, he said, "Hey, wanna ride?" He handed me a helmet and off we went. That was a fun day. Then he got a pilot's license for airplanes and we were able to go in the air many times. He even took the entire girl scout troop up in the plane, one at a time. Our family also always went on an annual camping trip, always somewhere new so we got to explore different areas of our country and learn all about nature.

And then there were all the lessons that shaped me into me. I remember one day Dad was letting me "help" him in his workshop. I was trying to put two things together and it just wasn't working so I was trying to force it into place. He told me, "Hon, if something isn't working, don't ever try to force it. Just take a breath, and then look at it and try something different." That's so true, not just about tools and parts. It's true about people and relationships. You cannot ever force someone to like you, or be the way you want them to be. All you can do is take a breath, look at the situation, and try something different. Lots of time we feel stuck but we're not really stuck. We just don't want to do anything about it.

My Dad also encouraged me to be independent. He would tell me that no one is responsible for me. I'm responsible for everything I do or decide. When those traits are instilled in you as a young person, they remain.

As for laughter, I remember lots of laughter growing up. Mom and Dad loved each other and demonstrated it regularly. There were belly laughs, and there were chuckles. They would have house parties, and there would be lots of laughter going on. We'd listen in on Dad and his friend Nick who would play tricks on each other, especially as it related to Christmas gifts.

So if there is any one thing I'd say to my dad, Pat Cooney, if he were around today, it would be simple. Thank you Dad.

 

 

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Kalispell, Bigfork, Lakeside and Somers areas. 

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Show All Comments Sort:
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Kat - your heartfelt appreciation of your dad is so well-written.  A very nice entry.  

Mar 12, 2025 04:41 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Michael Jacobs !

Mar 12, 2025 05:02 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Good morning, Kat... what a wonderful tribute to your Dad. He sounds a bit like a Renaissance Man! Teaching daughters independence is probably the best thing a father can teach. And you obviously took to that lesson. 

Mar 12, 2025 05:34 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Nina Hollander, Broker - too funny you used those words. When I received my bachelor degree (in my 30s, as an adult), I was asked to give a commencement speech which was a surprise to my parents who didn't know I was going to be talking. The guy that introduced me called me a Renaissance Woman. Haha. Dad and Mom were grinning.

Mar 12, 2025 06:12 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker

Kat Palmiotti hi Kat... knowing you, I can totally see you as a Renaissance Women! I have no doubt your parents were beyond proud.

Mar 12, 2025 06:16 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Nina Hollander, Broker !

Mar 12, 2025 06:19 AM
Pete Cullen CRS/GRI/SRES /e-Pro/AHWD/ABR/CFSP
Bailey Properties, Inc. - Santa Cruz, CA
Serving Santa Cruz & Coastal Monterey Counties

Love This !!!   Thank you for sharing your story 🙏

Mar 12, 2025 05:43 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Pete Cullen CRS/GRI/SRES /e-Pro/AHWD/ABR/CFSP !

Mar 12, 2025 06:08 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks, Kat, for sharing some of your personal story.

Treasure your fond memories.

Mar 12, 2025 06:44 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Roy Kelley!

Mar 12, 2025 08:40 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I loved learning about your Dad and those traits you got from him. I think there are so many things we pick up from our parents that we do not even realize but if we think abut it they lead us back to them. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt post.

Mar 12, 2025 07:33 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 - and it's not easy to see all the good things while in the midst of growing up!

Mar 12, 2025 08:41 AM
Ginger Harper
Coldwell Banker Sea Coast Advantage~ Ginger Harper Real Estate Team - Southport, NC
Your Southport~Oak Island Agent~Brunswick County!

Memories. This Blog brings back memories.  Hope you have a great day.

 

Ginger

Mar 12, 2025 08:10 AM
Kat Palmiotti

I hope you have a great day too Ginger Harper !

Mar 12, 2025 08:41 AM
Gloria Todor
Premier Property Sales & Rentals - Springfield, PA
& Doug Durren (484) 431-3686 in SE PA

Kat, That's a great photo of your dad on that pole with a cigarette in his mouth, getting a job done that needed doing.  Thanks for sharing so much about your dad and mom with us.  They laid such an adventurous, inquisitive foundation for your life.  And nice to know your current woodworking is a continuation of your father's influence.  

Mar 12, 2025 08:16 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Gloria Todor - that's interesting. I hadn't even thought of that, but now that you mention it, my dad did make all our wooden bookshelves, some furniture, etc. Thanks!

Mar 12, 2025 08:42 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Pat Cooney sounds like such a wonderful man, you are lucky to have had him as a Dad!  I love the photos that you shared!

Mar 12, 2025 10:07 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Brian England !!

Mar 12, 2025 10:27 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Kat Palmiotti Sounds like your Dad was terrific and taught you well 😍 Love all the fantastic pictures 

Mar 12, 2025 11:41 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Hannah Williams - I have a bunch of photos from his days in the military - some are not sharable!

Mar 12, 2025 12:42 PM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

Mr. Cooney sounds like a wonderful man! You were blessed to have him in. your life.

Mar 12, 2025 03:38 PM
Kat Palmiotti

Dr. Paula McDonald = I sure was!

Mar 12, 2025 05:55 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
The best agent in Southern Utah!

Pat Cooney, most likley heard you loud and clear, Kat and is very pleased with the life you have created for yourself (and with Anthony). What an adventure he made of your upbringing, wow!

Mar 12, 2025 03:41 PM
Kat Palmiotti

Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! - thank you! I'm sure he heard me loud and clear as well!

Mar 12, 2025 05:55 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Kat:

I so enjoyed learning more about you and the many way that your Dad influenced you. What a wonderful tribute to him and all that he was.

Jeff

Mar 12, 2025 05:26 PM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you very much Jeff Dowler, CRS !

Mar 12, 2025 05:55 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

I came back to revisit all your answers you guys, and I love it! Supremely inspiring across the board!!

Mar 12, 2025 10:05 PM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Laura Cerrano ! I hope your day is wonderful.

Mar 13, 2025 04:48 AM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co Notary Services retired RE Broker

I love your post Kat Palmiotti and it's making me want to re-think how I view my dad. My first thoughts about my dad are negative but I think I can turn that around by reviewing what he did for his family like you have with your dad.

Mar 14, 2025 06:25 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Bob "RealMan" Timm - my dad wasn't perfect and there are definitely things I didn't like growing up. BUT when looking at the entire picture, he actually did great!

Mar 14, 2025 06:33 AM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

How lucky you are to have had such a wonderful Dad!  He had character, great sense of humor, humility, and shared experiences with everyone!  My step-dad was similar, but without as much worded guidance, unless I don't remember!  Thank you for sharing as it really shows who you are!

Mar 14, 2025 12:30 PM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you very much Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ !!!

Mar 14, 2025 01:24 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ

You're welcome!

Mar 14, 2025 01:26 PM
Liz and Bill Spear
Transaction Alliance 513.520.5305 www.WarrenCountyOhioRealEstate.com - Mason, OH
Transaction Alliance Cincinnati & Dayton suburbs

I think our dads were stamped from very similar cloth!  And don't be late, ever!

Mar 15, 2025 11:27 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Oh my gosh, Liz and Bill Spear - I don't know what would have happened if I was late as a child - It just wasn't allowed to happen!

Mar 15, 2025 02:56 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

I loved this, Kat. You're description of yourself in the beginning had a lot of traits I've seen in the AR years I've known you, and now, I know where you got it. Your dad sounds like a wonderful person.

Mar 15, 2025 11:56 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you so much for your comment Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV - I was just thinking today that I can't believe he's already been gone just about 10 years. Time flies. And he was definitely a good dad!

Mar 15, 2025 02:57 PM
Barbara Michaluk
Weichert Realtors | Phone Direct 240-506-2434 | 301-681-0550 office - Silver Spring, MD
Leisure World Specialist / Full Service REALTOR

Kat, thanks for sharing this wonderful tribute to your dad and the impact he had on your life. It sounds like he offered you lots of good advice but also encouraged you to be yourself and make your own decisions. 

Mar 16, 2025 08:02 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Although I'm sure he wanted me to make decisions he agreed with Barbara Michaluk !

Mar 16, 2025 08:12 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank You, Dad

I stand today, strong and free,
A soul unbound, just being me.
Independent, bold, and bright,
Chasing dreams, embracing light.

A curious mind, a fearless heart,
Adventure calls—I play my part.
From solo trips to sights unseen,
I go alone, yet never keen
To let the fear of being one
Stop me from having all the fun.

"Cooneys are never late," you'd say,
With tapping watch to mark the way.
Now time's my friend, and I declare,
If I say ten, I'll be there.

You taught me how to think and learn,
To ask, to seek, to grow, to yearn.
A book in hand, a world so wide,
No question left untried, untried.

A stamp collector, pilot bold,
A biker with a story told.
"Hey, wanna ride?"—helmet in hand,
Off we soared, like birds unplanned.

Through camping trips and nature’s call,
We wandered, wondered, embraced it all.
No path too wild, no road too steep,
Just memories now, but ones I keep.

And when I forced things into place,
You’d smile and say with patient grace,
"Don’t push too hard, just take a breath,
And find another way instead."

Life’s not about control, you’d show,
It’s how we bend, adapt, and grow.
You taught me strength, you taught me grace,
You filled our home with love’s embrace.

Laughter rang through all our days,
In jokes, in love, in simple ways.
A family strong, with joy so bright,
A home where love was always light.

If I could speak to you today,
One simple thing I’d have to say—
For all you gave, for all you knew,
For shaping me—Dad, thank you.

Mar 16, 2025 02:52 PM
Patricia Feager
Flower Mound, TX

Kat Palmiotti - Happy St. Patrick's Day! 

I just read your comment to Dorie:

With a maiden name like Cooney, and sisters with names of Coleen and Maureen, you can bet I have some Irish in me!

Mar 17, 2025 07:22 AM
Kat Palmiotti

Thank you Patricia Feager - a Happy St Patrick's Day to you as well!

Mar 17, 2025 10:04 AM