"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one most adaptable to change." — Charles Darwin
I’m not sure how much of my personality is written into my DNA, but I do know that losing both of my parents at a young age shaped me in both subtle and significant ways.
When my mother passed away when I was seven, my brother and I had to grow up faster than most kids. With our dad working during the week, we quickly learned the art of independence and self-reliance. That independence stuck with us into adulthood, which is mostly a good thing until you need help and realize you have no idea how to ask for it. I am guilty of that.
One of the biggest lessons I took from those early losses was that grief is tough, but loss itself isn’t something to fear. It’s just part of life’s messy, unpredictable design. That doesn’t mean it hurts any less. It means I’ve learned to accept it instead of fighting or fearing it. And for me, faith has been the thing that keeps that acceptance from turning into frustration or depression. The belief that I’ll see my loved ones again someday is a comfort I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Speaking of faith, I truly don’t know how people without it get through life. There are so many things we simply can’t control, and at some point, you just have to trust that the pieces will fall into place. It reminds me of that quote often attributed to John Lennon: "Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end." Now, that’s the kind of optimism I can get behind because I believe everything WILL be ok in the end.
The losses also made me more pragmatic about change. I’ve been rolling with life’s curveballs since I was a kid, so taking (reasonable) risks doesn’t scare me. If anything, staying stagnant does. Life is meant to evolve, to keep moving, to keep surprising us.
In the end, all of this has shaped how I approach relationships and challenges. I don’t hold on too tightly out of fear. I embrace the present for what it is. I take risks, but only the good kind. Most importantly, I strive to keep moving forward because that’s what life is meant to do.
Comments(21)