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Life Defining Experiences | The Dark Night of the Soul

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with KD Realty - 408.972.1822 CA DRE#01366594

We are shaped by people and experiences throughout our lives. In the March ActiveRain challenge hosted by Lew Corcoran and Patricia Faeger, we are asked to share the profound impact someone had on you in shaping you into who you are today.

If you want to know why I am the way I am today, it is largely due to how My Parents Shaped Who I Am Today, they set a strong foundation.

The experiences I had, the things I feared, the things I loved, and how throughout my life I emerged from the "Dark Night of the Soul" experiences also shaped me into who I become. 

While the term may mean different things to people, my reference here is in the spiritual sense. 

"The "dark night of the soul" refers to a phase of deep spiritual crisis or emotional turmoil, often characterized by feelings of despair and a sense of God's absence. It is a concept popularized by the 16th-century mystic St. John of the Cross, describing a period of purification and transformation in one's spiritual journey." [Source: Wikipedia] 

 


 

You Have Cancer | Loving Support From My Son

This was not like "You've Got Mail". This was a "Dark Night of the Soul" experience.

Waiting for Surgery on October 11, 2012

Twelve years later and counting, I remember the day I called my son to tell him I had stage 3 breast cancer.  His words will never leave my heart. He said "I support whatever decision you make. Selfishly, I want you to fight it." 

And fight it - I did! 

No matter how close we are to our children when something like this happens, it is bound to create a deeper connection. My dance with cancer altered the dynamics of my relationship with my son.

As we navigated the journey of treatment and the emotional highs and lows that came with it, we found ourselves getting closer. 

My son became an integral part of my support system. My son's love and support gave me strength. Our shared fears and hopes fostered a profound bond. 

The shared experience transformed our relationship and created a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other. 

My son witnessed my resilience and I experienced his empathy, maturity, and love in supporting me through the dark night of the soul experience with cancer. 

My son is truly a blessing. My cancer experience brought me closer to my son and closer to my relationship with God, which reshaped who I was and transformed me into who I became. 

Life is a Precious Gift

 

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I specialize in probate real estate.
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Real Estate Specialist
my focus is on helping Executors and Administrators
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“From the moment we met Kathleen, we were impressed with her professionalism, knowledge, patience, respect, humor, attention to detail, and compassion.  She's the Whole Package ~ excellent agent and wonderful human being!  In a potentially stressful experience, we have felt in good hands all along.  We are so grateful and recommend her without hesitation!”

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Comments(21)

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Patricia Feager
Flower Mound, TX

Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist - You are a good survivor. Only you could have written this story, and it comes from the heart and soul. Through the darkness, you saw the light and helped others who had similar stories.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful gift of who you are for the March 2025 Challenge.

Mar 16, 2025 01:59 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

Thank you for co-hosting the challenge.  When I reflect on that experience and the bond with my son it reminds me of how precious life is. 

Mar 16, 2025 02:36 PM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Kathleen sometimes it takes going through a life changing event in our lives to truly know who is truly there for us.

Mar 16, 2025 03:30 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

I agree, George Souto, and we also learn who is not there for us. 

People I never expected to be there, and people I did not ask to be there, surprised me with their kindness.  

 

as the unespected surprises by friends. 

 

 

Mar 16, 2025 04:48 PM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

Love you and your incredible story of resilience and fortitude. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with us.

Mar 16, 2025 03:42 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Thank you, Dr. Paula McDonald for your friendship, your kindness, and your loving support.  

Mar 16, 2025 04:49 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Kathleen- I know this sounds trite and trivial, but you are an inspiration. What I kept thinking as I read your post is that your son has become what he learned from you. What a blessing. I'm happy you're here. 

Mar 16, 2025 05:13 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

Hello, Kathy Streib it does not sound trite or trivial - he did learn a lot from me and we continue to learn from each other.  Thank you! 

Mar 17, 2025 08:08 AM
Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

Life is a precious gift, and your son is an even more precious gift. 

Congratulations on walking thru the darkness into the light you shine in now!

Mar 16, 2025 11:47 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

It was a life-altering experience, Debra Leisek - we cannot go through something like that and not change.  Thank you. 

Mar 17, 2025 08:10 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Kathleen - sometimes our support systems are well acquainted with us and our situations, while at other times they appear.  Almost magically or through some other means.  Thank you for sharing how in the darkness, light shone for you.   

Mar 17, 2025 03:24 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Hello Michael Jacobs - you are spot on - sometimes support appears almost magically.  Thank you.

Mar 17, 2025 08:12 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Good morning, Kathleen... the story of your fight for survival made you a hero in my eyes very early on when I joined Active Rain. I continue to think of you as a hero and as an example for us all. I went through your journey in reverse when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer... it was a long, difficult 3+ year journey.

Mar 17, 2025 04:26 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

And that long, difficult 3+ year journey no doubt changed you, Miss, Nina Hollander, Broker. We become someone else as a result of the experience. 

Mar 17, 2025 08:13 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker

Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist you are so right about that. I wouldn't want to wish either experience on anyone.

Mar 17, 2025 08:23 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks for sharing this special story. Best wishes for good health and much happiness.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mar 17, 2025 04:34 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Thank you, Roy.

Happy St. Patrick's Day 

Mar 17, 2025 08:14 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Through Darkness, Love Shines Bright

We are shaped by hands and time,
By love, by loss, by hills we climb.
The moments dark, the battles fought,
The lessons life so fiercely taught.

My parents built a steadfast ground,
A place where love and strength were found.
Yet life will test, and fate will call,
To see if we can stand at all.

One day, the words cut through the air,
A truth too heavy, hard to bear.
"You have cancer," the silence grew,
And in that moment, all I knew—

Was fear, was pain, was what lay ahead,
Yet through the storm, love’s light was spread.
My son, his voice so calm, so strong,
Held me close where I belonged.

"Whatever choice you make, I'm here,
But selfishly, I need you near."
And so I fought, with will, with grace,
With love reflected on his face.

The nights were long, the road was steep,
Yet love and faith my heart did keep.
Through every tear, through every trial,
He stood beside me all the while.

Our bond grew deeper, strong, refined,
Through pain, we found our hearts aligned.
He saw my strength, I felt his care,
A love unbreakable, laid bare.

 

And through it all, I came to see,
That faith and love can set us free.
Life’s a gift, both dark and bright,
Yet through the night, love shines its light.

Mar 17, 2025 04:36 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

I love it, Roy Kelley 

Thank you! 

 

Mar 17, 2025 08:15 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Life is indeed precious,. I am glad you overcame cancer and became closer to your son at the same time. Thank you for sharing.

Mar 17, 2025 05:07 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

Thank you, Kat Palmiotti 

Mar 17, 2025 08:17 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Kathleen,

You are a blessing to all of us for sharing this story. I've always admired how valiantly you fought the Big C but I love hearing how your journey brought you and your son closer together. Life is so precious... God is good.

Mar 17, 2025 05:29 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

God sure is Good Miss Dorie Dillard Austin TX - I thank God every day for his many blessings.  Thank you.  

Mar 17, 2025 08:18 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I don't know you very well, but it seems that your parents raised you well.  It makes me happy to know that your son's love and support gave you the strength to get through your dance with cancer.

Mar 17, 2025 06:39 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Hello, Brian England My strict and disciplined upbringing served me well. We do get strength from the people that love and support us.  Thank you. 

Mar 17, 2025 08:20 AM
Leanne Smith
Dirt Road Real Estate - Golden Valley, AZ
The Grit and Gratitude Agent

Another heart warming sharing experience and you must be so proud of your son.  Thank you for letting us in to this past moments of your life.

Mar 17, 2025 08:31 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

Proud of my son, yes indeed.  The love one holds for their child/ren can be such an incredible love.  And, of course, the opposite is true. Thank you for stopping by.

Mar 18, 2025 07:50 AM
Steffy Hristova
HomeSmart Elite Group Tempe AZ Tel: 602.710.8161 - Tempe, AZ
Tempe AZ Realtor - Your Home Close to Your Work!

Kathleen, what a moving and inspiring story. You have raised a fine, caring son, who brings you strength and resilience, too! Hugs!

Mar 17, 2025 09:15 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

Thank you, Steffy Hristova - Hugs! 

Mar 18, 2025 07:51 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I am glad you came through your dark night, facing cancer of any type is a frightening experience. I lost my sister to breast cancer which metastasized to her brain. I had prostate cancer and my attitude was based on my sister's journey. Thank you for sharing and I am so grateful for the love and support you had from your son and how this helped you to grow closer together.

Mar 17, 2025 01:32 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

 

Not that long ago I lost a dear friend the same way you lost your sister. I will never forget the day she called and told me all the places cancer had taken over her body ... and then her brain. 

It is such a blessing you made it through prostate cancer, Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 

Thank you for your comment. 

Mar 18, 2025 07:54 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
Retired Broker/Owner - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Kathleen this is a very uplifting post of love and caring......and being lifted to a new higher power. Sometimes it seems odd that the toughest times can somehow bring out the best in those around us - your son! I so remember your fight to beat cancer and so glad you are here today to share your profound story.💞

Mar 17, 2025 03:23 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Hello Miss Anna "Banana" Kruchten - 12 years ago feels like such a long time ago and at the same time it feels like yesterday.  I was lifted to a higher power and have continued to climb ever since. 

💙💛

Mar 18, 2025 07:57 AM
Gary J. Muccio, Associate Broker
Keller Williams of Central PA - Camp Hill, PA
Exceptional Customer Service!

Good morning, Kathleen

And thank you for sharing such a personal and inspiring journey! What a gift to have such a loving, supportive and compassionate son. Just as your parents shaped your life, so too have you shaped his. Continued good health and success to you!

Mar 18, 2025 05:46 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Thank you, Gary J. Muccio, Associate Broker 

It is a beautiful life process and exchange between parents and their children. 

Mar 18, 2025 07:59 AM
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA
ePRO, SRES, GRI, PMN

I remember you going through your cancer days, Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist 

You have been gifted more days to celebrate with your son and so much more. Such a wonderful gift!

Mar 19, 2025 01:43 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

A gift I express gratitude for every day, John Juarez 

As I awake, I first thank the Lord for another day, my health, and all that I am blessed with. 

Mar 19, 2025 09:02 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist  You are blessed. I am so happy for you. Your road has not been easy, and you know it. You are a very special lady, and I know. I remember when you disappeared from the Rain. I never dreamed it was because you were ill. I learned a life lesson. Thank God you are a fighter and won.with your son by your side   

Mar 19, 2025 03:21 PM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Miss Hannah Williams Thank God, indeed I am truly blessed. 
Thank you for your sweet comment. 

Mar 23, 2025 02:44 PM
Eileen Burns 954.483.3912
Trans State Commercial Realty Inc. - Fort Lauderdale, FL
FLorida Real Estate Connector

We grow in different directions based on our experiences.  You are, in my mind, a warrior woman.  Improving with age and wisdom along with our own mindset to live life not merely exist.  Glad to hear your son is part of the journey

Mar 22, 2025 06:58 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist

Hello, Miss Eileen Burns 954.483.3912 I cannot imagine my life without my son, he is truly a blessing.  Thank you for your comment. 

Mar 23, 2025 02:45 PM