“You don’t find love. It finds you. It’s got to do with destiny, fate, and what’s written in the stars.” – Anaïs Nin
You knew I was going to save the best for last, as my final entry into this month's Challenge hosted by Patricia Feager and Lew Corcoran, didn't you?
I was 29 when I met my late husband, Max. By then, I’d heard it more than once: “You’re too picky. You’ll never get married.” That always puzzled me. Isn’t choosing a life partner exactly when you should be choosy?
The truth is, I wasn’t even looking for a husband. I was doing just fine as a single woman. I had a good job, bought my first house, and my best friend became my roommate, paying half the mortgage and utilities. We were in a softball league, a bowling league, and we traveled on weekends and during vacation time. Life was busy.
Then, along came Max.
We met through a two-year leadership program. Each month, we car-pooled to different parts of the state for 2-day seminars and got to know each other during those long car rides.
During one of the early seminars, I grabbed a pack of M&Ms during a short break. Max was sitting across the table from me, eyeing the candy as I popped them one by one into my mouth. I slid the bag across the table and asked softly, “Want some?” He did. And I think that’s when he started falling in love with me. I think I fell in love with him the first time he smiled at me. There was something sweet but mischievous about that smile.
I won’t go into all the details that followed, but fast forward to after we were married... M&Ms became our thing. Every time we went on a road trip together, without fail, Max would grab a bag at our first gas stop. We’d share them on the next leg of our trip. It was a simple, sweet tradition that always made me smile… and still does.
Funny how love can begin with something as small as a smile and a bag of candy. But with Max, even the little things always meant something more.
As much as anyone, Max influenced who I am today. He wasn't the only one who had a strong influence on me, but he was my favorite.
He was intelligent, had a quiet confidence, a gentle nature, and a way of making my world feel safe and secure. I always felt unconditional love from him. For those of you who’ve read my earlier posts, you know that wasn't something I had growing up. With Max, I never questioned whether I was loved. It was a peace I’d never known before. He showed me that unconditional love wasn’t just a phrase from a Hallmark card. It was real. I know he felt it from me, too. I remember him once saying, “I didn’t know what love was until I found you.”
With Max, I felt secure in every way: emotionally, spiritually, and in the quiet, ordinary routines of life. I remember that no matter how bad my day at work was, I always knew he would be there with that smile. I believe I gave him that same sense of comfort and security in return. That kind of love is rare. It’s a gift. Not everyone gets it, and I never took it for granted.
When Max passed away, I didn’t think I’d ever feel happy again. The grief was deep. But time, memories, and grace have done their quiet work. What once brought tears now brings a warm, grateful smile. I find comfort in knowing I got to experience something extraordinary.
Love doesn’t always arrive on a schedule, but when it’s real, it leaves a legacy that lives on long after the last M&M is shared.
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