I challenge you to test yourself! Pick a day, any day and decide to make it a day where you practice listening. Not just; not talking, but actual listening to what others are saying. Being attentive, eye contact, giving your full attention to the person and as an option, ask questions for further listening training. YOU will also be grading your own paper too
LEND EVERYONE YOUR EAR, NOT YOUR MOUTH
I WONT TALK...
Listening is a lot harder than you think. Most people's first reaction to wanting or attempting to listen will be to think that they will just silence themselves thus becoming what is left i.e. a listener. Not so. Rocks and walls are silent, but they are not good listeners. NO. More is required from you
WORTHY NOTE: Watch your own "deer in the headlights" (they see it)
IT WILL PUSH & PULL
In the practicing of this you will notice a push or a pull (on you) to want to comment, make facial expressions, look or run away or interrupt. It becomes stronger the more you try to practice listening correctly. Don't give in to it but watch it as it presents itself. It will pass shortly if you don't interfere
WORTHY NOTE: If you are able to repeat back or summarize what the other person said, either to themselves or another, give yourself an A
IF DONE RIGHT
The person receiving your listening skills will be encouraged by it if it is genuine. Everyone wants to be heard and validated. A good listener is never without friends or alone for that matter. People remember people who were patient, caring and attentive, they just do
WORTHY NOTE: You will know your own progress or success WHEN others say, about you: See that person, they are such a good listener (more than once too)
CAVEATS (cheats)
1. You agree to listen, but don't really care (everyone sees this)
2. You listen in anger or impatience mode. You are dysfunctional
3. You control the episodes of listening with force & will. You get an F if you do
4. You over-pick & choose to listen to instead of what comes your way (true test)
LISTEN, LOOK & LEARN
Kids-teenagers complain they are not heard out. Spouses scream you never listen! Teachers see it all the time with students. Employers scratch their heads. The more difficult it is, the purer the test. NOTE: Did you think it would be easy?
DOMINATION & WILL
If you are willful or domineering, guaranteed YOU ARE NOT a good listener. You wonder why? Because no one wants to engage with you thus you cannot see your flaws in the arena of growth i.e. the personal interaction. People avoid you
WORTHY NOTE: If people choose you as a "go to" person, you have above average listening scores. In fact, you are improving/refining at a phenomenal rate as you do
DID YOU KNOW?
There are many people that just want to be heard & listened to. They just need to get out what is inside of them. They may or may not know you. If chosen, listen up. I have had my wife & employer tell me: Rich, don't talk, just listen please. I comply
WORTHY NOTE: Something we tend to forget & need reminding of: HUMILITY. Listening, a form of sharing, caring, patience & love, will humble all parties involved
LISTEN UP
Kids love it. Neighbors thrive on it. Consider it a form of voluntary giving (tithing) and a worthy time out for yourself as well. Cost nothing to give to another and you get to relax and share another part of yourself while others do the same
Are you listening?
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