Admin

Lessons demonstrated not then learned finally implemented

By
Real Estate Agent with Wayne M Martin

This is the fourth and final entry for the March challenge by Patricia Feager and Lew Corcoran "who am I".  

My father, like many of his generation was not a highly formally educated man. His wisdom came from on the street experience. He was kind and determined to help relatives and others in his circle. As a result he was a hard and tireless worker, often seven days a week.

I had the privilege to start working at his automobile body frame and repair shop in the late 1950's. Over the years he had mentored many  including my uncles who went on to start their own businesses. He gave even when he himself sacrificed. I would often ask why and he would say it makes me happy to provide happiness for other people. I watched as many never said thanks and even say that he had it to give and so he should without so much as a thank you. I did not understand why he continued to act that way.

My Dad passed away when I was 20 years old and I did not understand his lesson. Many years passed and I still never understood. As my circumstances changed and I got into sales management I found myself mentoring others to be the best they could be. That is when the light went on and I finally realized that while I never really learned the lesson of my Dad's teaching by example, I had finally implemented his teaching and it indeed made me happy.

I was also fortunate that those I mentored, for the most part, said thank you and acknowledged my contribution. Those who thanked me provided the push I needed to continue to help others until I retired. After retirement I continued to mentor those who reached out. Hopefully those I helped will help others for then I will know the I finally learned the lesson. Thanks Dad.

Comments(21)

Show All Comments Sort:
Patricia Feager
Flower Mound, TX

Wayne Martin - Having grown up and having children born while living in Chicago, I can attest to knowing how valuable being "street smart" is. They are the hardest, most dedicated, and focused people I ever knew. Isn't it interesting how as children, we see our parents through the eyes of a child. There are so many bewildering things we most likely never questioned or asked. However, as we age, we begin to understand them more and the older we get, it all clicks together. 

This is a heartfelt story about a generation, kids today will never understand. I am grateful I understand because I am from the same generation as you are. What you have accomplished is something I admire. Thank you for sharing the beautiful gifts of who you are. You've done a lot of soul-searching, and you truly are an inspiration to each of us. 

Mar 26, 2025 09:06 AM
Wayne Martin

Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes it takes time for the message to sink in. In my earlier years might have thought it a curse but it my later years it is a true blessing. And thank you Patricia Feager for the March challenge.  

Mar 26, 2025 03:37 PM
Patricia Feager

Wayne Martin - perhaps "it takes time for the message to sink in," because it was designed that way from our Creator. Otherwise, we might have never moved on with our lives to have children of our own. I think it's only natural to have misgivings before we reach maturity. I know, I did not live in the perfect world with my parents and siblings.

Your participation was very much appreciated. Thank you.

Mar 26, 2025 04:39 PM
Barbara Michaluk
Weichert Realtors | Phone Direct 240-506-2434 | 301-681-0550 office - Silver Spring, MD
Leisure World Specialist / Full Service REALTOR

Hi Wayne, Thanks for sharing this valuable lesson that your father taught you. I'm glad you finally learned through your own experience why your dad was so generous even when he didn't get the appreciation he deserved. 

Mar 26, 2025 09:16 AM
Wayne Martin

Some things are hard to understand at a young age. 

Mar 26, 2025 03:38 PM
GilbertRealtor BillSalvatore
Arizona Elite Properties - Chandler, AZ
Realtor - 602-999-0952 / em: golfArizona@cox.net

Thanks for sharing and enjoy your “Hump Day” Wednesday and have a productive week!

Bill Salvatore, Realtor- Arizona Elite Properties

Mar 26, 2025 09:27 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Hi Wayne... better late than never, I say. I understand your desire to have been able to thank your Dad way back when... but in the absence of that, you learned an important life lesson and appreciation for what your Dad's legacy to you is.

Mar 26, 2025 09:46 AM
Wayne Martin

His legacy grows as I age.

Mar 26, 2025 03:38 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Wayne,

A valuable lesson learned from your dad. Sometimes it takes us awhile to have that light bulb moment! 

Mar 26, 2025 10:37 AM
Wayne Martin

My light bulb required a lot of maturing to turn on. 

Mar 26, 2025 03:40 PM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Associate Real Estate Broker

We don't realize it at the time that we are being taught. I too have been in circumstances later in life and when asked for help, the light went on because of what  was taught by example with no words said.

Mar 26, 2025 10:40 AM
Wayne Martin

No words, just examples. Take the information as you can. It never changed regardless of the poo reception. 

Mar 26, 2025 03:41 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Wayne- I have always loved the story of your dad delivering (secretly) Christmas gifts to an employee. You put them on the front porch while he went around back. What a remarkable man he was. Such is life that we often "don't get it" until we are older. What a wonderful lesson he imparted to you. 

Mar 26, 2025 11:34 AM
Wayne Martin

When I describe him as one of a kind, he was one of a kind. 

Mar 26, 2025 03:42 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks, Wayne, for sharing some of your personal story.

Treasure your fond memories.

Mar 26, 2025 11:48 AM
Aura Alex
Seattle, WA
Retired Real Estate Pro

Hi Wayne,

Your words reflect deep, unspoken emotions. Often, we recognize the love and influence someone has had on us only in hindsight. Your father’s impact is evident, a testament to the man he was and the legacy he left.

While you may not have had a chance to express your feelings to him, your actions and values continue to honor his love and wisdom. Perhaps he sensed your gratitude in unspoken ways, as love often communicates through silence and the lives we create from their teachings.

FEATURED in the Old Farts Club.

Mar 26, 2025 01:34 PM
Wayne Martin

I give him thanks daily as the lessons come from deep in my mind to the forefront.

Mar 26, 2025 03:43 PM
Lew Corcoran
Better Living Real Estate, LLC - East Bridgewater, MA
Expert guidance. Exceptional results.

Your heartfelt tribute to your dad's lessons really struck a chord, Wayne Martin. It's inspiring to see how his wisdom shaped your journey and how you’re passing it on to others. Thanks for sharing such a powerful and personal story!

Mar 26, 2025 02:15 PM
Wayne Martin

Thanks for the kind words. He does deserve the credit. Thanks for the March challenge to remind me far I have yet to go. 

Mar 26, 2025 03:46 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Wayne - life teaches us many lessons, some learned quite quickly while others are delayed.  But they do "arrive", right?  And that they may be "seen" too late, is fortunate in that they were eventually learned.  To me it's sad whenever the lessons are "out there" but they are missed for whatever reason.   I think each of us can relate to your thoughts as to not capturing the importance of the lessons you viewed firsthand in the moment.   I still remember the story you shared of your childhood experience during Christmas when you saw your father in action with his kindness.  

 

Thank you for sharing another part of your history.  And your dad's impact on your present.  Likely in the future too and gratefully passed onto your son and others who continue to "see" you.  

Mar 27, 2025 02:33 AM
Wayne Martin

My son is beginning to follow some of my earlier advice as he raises his son. My Dad would be very proud.

Mar 27, 2025 06:42 AM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

Wayne, We often don’t recognize the lessons we’re learning in the moment. But then those silent lessons taught by example, help us find our way!

Mar 27, 2025 04:17 AM
Wayne Martin

I am still a work in progress as my Dad had little to say but much to offer. 

Mar 27, 2025 06:43 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I think many of us don't appreciate or understand the lessons that were imparted to us, until much later. And then there's that "a-ha" moment!

Mar 27, 2025 05:24 AM
Wayne Martin

I continue to have ha, ha moments as I ponder why I did what I did. And the answer is always the same, it is what Dad did.

Mar 27, 2025 06:44 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Hard work seems to be a lost art, especially among the most recent generations and it is sad to see.

Mar 27, 2025 05:33 AM
Wayne Martin

So many of the people who surrounded my Dad always said he was the hardest working man they had ever known. One even told me one day that try as I might I could never out work him. He spoke the truth. 

Mar 27, 2025 06:46 AM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

I suspect that even when you "weren't understanding" your dad's lessons, you still were making progress toward being a giving and caring person.  I am sure he rejoiced in having you as his son. 

Mar 27, 2025 05:53 AM
Wayne Martin

Most of the time anyway!

Mar 27, 2025 06:46 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
Retired Broker/Owner - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

The good news Wayne is that you continue to live your Dad's legacy and it's awesome! You do so much for so many and are appreciated - A LOT!!

Mar 27, 2025 09:49 AM
Wayne Martin

Let's just say even at my advanced age I am a work in progress. 

Mar 29, 2025 06:09 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Wayne:

What a wonderful tribute to your Dad and the influence he had on you, although you did not realize it when he was around! I suspect that's the way it is with many life lessons - we only realize later in life what we learned or the impact that someone had on us.

Have a good weekend!

Jeff

Mar 28, 2025 10:44 AM
Wayne Martin

When you internalize a lesson you don't always know where you got it from until much later. 

Mar 29, 2025 06:10 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
Southern Utah's Preferred Real Estate Agent.

Selfless service to others is always remembered, no matter how many years pass, Wayne. Your father exemplified that!

Mar 28, 2025 11:05 AM
Wayne Martin

For my Dad, he did it for his happiness and only hoped it was appreciated.

Mar 29, 2025 06:11 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
Southern Utah's Preferred Real Estate Agent.

Remembering those who taught us life lessons that eventually were implemented, speaks from the heart. Though the years passed, his advice was there waiting to be acknowledged, Wayne! Congrats on being featured in BananaTUDES!

Mar 28, 2025 11:08 AM
Wayne Martin

Thank you Wanda!

Mar 29, 2025 06:12 AM
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA
ePRO, SRES, GRI, PMN

Your father was a good and wise man, Wayne Martin.

And you are a chip off the old block.

Mar 28, 2025 11:55 AM
Wayne Martin

A small chip!

Mar 29, 2025 06:12 AM