I mentioned in a blog that I spent part of my childhood in an orphanage and Kathy Streib suggested I write about how that influenced my business life. It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable about writing about this part of my life.
First, the title of this article is part of the title of a book Tough Mercy by Dr. Ted Chandler, Professor of Medicine, Emeritus at Wake Forrest University. Dr. Chandler lived at the orphanage a generation before me and the pictures and stories in the
book are almost exactly the way I remember the orphanage.
I was never a complete orphan. I knew my mother and 2 brothers and 2 sisters. I never knew a Dad and we were poor mentally and financially. I entered the orphanage (Mills Home Thomasville, N.C.) at the age of 10 and left when I was 15. My Mom had married and was finally finally financially free enough to house and feed us. Her husband was a hard working man who worked at General Motors in Fremont. (Now the Tesla site). My Mom, I think, was bright but only attended school to the 3rd grade. My new stepdad went thru the 8th grade.
I was born in the Appalachian Mountains and that is the first home I remember. We took baths in a galvanized tub and used an outhouse. Some of the places we lived had electricity. I am not completely sure but don't think this house had electricity. One time we lived in an apartment above a chicken store in Mt Airy, N.C. (Maybury -really for you Andy Griffith fans). When we knew we would be going to the orphanage we were living in a small isolated house in near Suffolk, Va. at the edge of the Great Dismal Swamp. I say at the edge but we were surrounded by Swamp. We were surrounded by swamp lands, snakes and sometimes smaller alligators.
I was the oldest of 5 children and my Mom worked as a waitress at Howard Johnson Restaurant. We were unsupervised. My mom did not have money for any
child care. We were living in the swamp when Mom told us about Mills Home in
North Carolina and we needed to live in N.C. for 6 months before we could be accepted to the Orphanage. So we moved to Thomasville, N.C.
This is way longer than I wanted to write but it is the only way to describe life then. I remember being in Thomasville Elementary School and I was walking down the stairs. A teacher looked at me and said "Boy, you need a haircut." I replied: "My Momma says I will get one this week even if we don't eat" The next day that teacher took me to a barber shop and paid for my haircut.
When we entered Mills Home we became rich kids. My bother and I were placed in the Chowan Cottage with 18 or so boys our age and my sisters were placed in the cottage for the youngest girts. A younger brother who was only 2 was put into a foster home.
How were we rich? We had showers, Shoes, Clean clothes, meals at meal times, and lived in a beautiful safe environment. We had church three times a week;
Sunday Morning, Sunday Night and Wednesday Night. We had support. Every child had a "Case Worker" who was a professional in Child Care. I had Boy Scouts and we camped out one time each month rain or snow. I had sports. At Mills Home I played on the Little League Baseball team, the Pony League Baseball team, and the Little League football team - the Mills Home Redskins. I would never have had these if I had not gone to Mills Home. In the area where we lived we were the poorest of the poor.
We learned discipline. With 400 children on Campus they had to be kept busy. Every child worked and we pretty much got to apply for our jobs. I worked in the Print Shop -we printed a newspaper about the orphanage -50,000 issues a month. I cut hair and worked on the Farm. As I got older my interest was sports and I worked in the Gym, was a Lifeguard (each kid got an hour to swim each summer day and could also swim in the evening) I also helped coach the Little League teams. I could not have done any of this if I did not live at the orphanage.
I left the orphanage when I was 15 but this article is already too long. I learned to work. We went to our jobs on time and did out jobs. I learned to keep going always. During my 5 years at the orphanage I never missed a school day (none of us did). I learned to play fair. I had approximately 400 brothers and sisters I needed to learn to get along with people. I learned to look in peoples eyes and see pain and looking further seeing the hope for joy.
Picture of entrance: All about 7 yr old. My sister Diane on the right. Mary Lou Carver on the Left -- not sure of the boys name.
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