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Memorial Day Weekend - A Time for Remembrance

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Industry Observer 0506509

Photo Journalism & Reflections by Patricia Feager

 

Friday night, May 23, 2025. This evening before the sun went down, I went to the Flower Mound mound. It was covered in wildflowers. I had my own personal Memorial Day Vigil. The ground was hot; sweat poured down and covered my eyes, but I marched on. In the distance I saw men in uniforms putting up photographs of soldiers who died during the Vietnam War. Each one was pinned below an American Flag.

 

I was reminded of the years 1967 through 1970 and all the aerogram letters I sent to Jerry Feager. He was just a pen pal at that time. I was just a young teenage girl who did not go to parties. I spent my days keeping up with the news, praying for all the soldiers in Vietnam. All I wanted was an end to the war and peace. 

These soldiers who died now lie in peace. Each flag around the Flower Mound mound represents the reason why I continue to keep our fallen soldiers in my thoughts and prayers. What was their motivation for going to war if they volunteered, like Jerry did? Did JFK have anything to do with their decision.... Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country?

The wind was blowing but it was not cool. I walked for miles around the fence and across the fields at the Flower Mound mound covered in wildflowers. With each step I took I thought about the helicopters, the marching, and the dangers each solider faced. To them, this was no vacation. I received many aerograms from Jerry. I kept his words close to my heart and stored them in an old jewelry box. 

I wondered if the faces I saw today were loved by someone from back home. Did they receive enough aerogram letters? Were they in good company among soldiers in their units who had their backs? I'm afraid the violence I see today are from people who never served our country and perhaps never felt love either. There is danger getting on social media and thinking you have friends when they are just a figment of your imagination. 

Respectfully, I lowered my eyes to each flag and read the soldier's bio. The concrete sidewalk was steaming with heat today. I needed to find the opening to walk among the wildflowers on good old American dirt. Oh, what a soldier wouldn't do to kiss the ground and get out of Vietnam!!!

I left the shadows of Vietnam behind me and kept moving forward. I parked my car along the side of the road. How many soldiers in Vietnam had their own car or truck before leaving for Vietnam? I wondered.... Now, in Vietnam they were in trucks, tanks, with boots on the ground, or flying in helicopters. Yet, there is no doubt each one had a gun and knew how to shoot. Sadly, many soldiers never did get the keys to their own car or their own home. So many of them just wanted to go home. Others re-enlisted.  

What makes a soldier a grown up? Does it have anything to do with following orders? The strenuous physical exercises all the time? Is it possible for a Platoon Sargent to love their soldiers or is it enough to care about each and every step and move they make? 

When darkness came did a soldier really sleep? Did they think about home and the people they left behind? Did soldiers love to get news from home? Or was it more important for them to divorce their thoughts about home life and more important to focus on staying alive?

There is nothing more beautiful to me to see the American Flag. I like when it dances in the wind. You never know what shape it takes or if you can capture the right photograph? Each flag is beautiful. So are the soldiers who fought in wars. 

I continued to think about a lot of things I remembered about Vietnam. The new vocabulary and phrases I learned from the news kept my mind thinking. In my hometown, Chicago I waited impatiently to receive aerograms. And when received, I read them over and over and over again. 

Isn't it nice that we never run out of flags? You see them everywhere you go. They are always on my mind because they mean something important to me. 

Memorial Day weekend is a time for remembrance. I can't imagine what life was like for a POW. I still remember the first time Jerry came home from Vietnam. I remembered the smell of his uniform. I do believe he brought home the scent of Vietnam. He didn't smell like fresh flowers, but in a short amount of time, I came to love him. I'm home now, I'm looking up at my piano with his flag that was presented to me after he died. He is still in my heart. 

Posted by

Patricia Feager

Comments(17)

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Jeff Masich-Scottsdale AZ Associate Broker,MBA,GRI
HomeSmart Real Estate - Scottsdale, AZ
Arizona Homes and Land Group/ Buy or Sell

Day is Done

Gone the Sun

From the Hills

From the Lakes

From the Skies

 

All is well

Safely Rest

God is Nigh

 

Thank you for those brave ones who gave their last breath for the most free country on the face of the earth. Our country. Jeff

May 23, 2025 10:20 PM
Lew Corcoran

Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt tribute, Jeff Masich-Scottsdale AZ Associate Broker,MBA,GRI. Those words evoke deep gratitude and reflection, reminding us of the sacrifices made for our freedom. The emotions they stir are powerful—honor, humility, and a profound sense of gratitude for those who paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. 🇺🇸🙏

May 24, 2025 01:59 AM
Patricia Feager

Jeff Masich-Scottsdale AZ Associate Broker,MBA,GRI - Respectfully, I honored them all. The ultimate price they paid to serve our country was the greatest sacrifice of all. The verse you shared is positively fitting with heartfelt meaning. 

May 24, 2025 06:23 AM
Lew Corcoran
Better Living Real Estate, LLC - East Bridgewater, MA
Expert guidance. Exceptional results.

Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and powerful reflection, Patricia Feager. Your story beautifully reminds us that Memorial Day is about more than flags—it’s about honoring the sacrifice, love, and memories of those who served our great nation. I truly appreciate you sharing this moving tribute. 🇺🇸💙

May 24, 2025 01:48 AM
Patricia Feager

Lew Corcoran - you're right. Memorial Day is so much more than many people realize who didn't live through a war. For thirty years the United States of America was involved in the affairs of Vietnam. It was a gruesome war and period of time in history. Other wars were too. This war is one that is deeply felt by the Baby Boomer generation. I was reminded that their losses amounted to over 8000 aircraft. On the day I went to visit the Wall in Washington, D.C. I was overcome with grief by the number of soldier's names who paid the ultimate price. The death toll was staggering. Memorial Day is a day of remembrance.  

May 24, 2025 06:34 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Good morning! This is a beautiful post to share on Memorial Day weekend. Spending time remembering and honoring is what this weekend is all about. I also love the photos - especially the one that shows multiple flags on the fence.

 

May 24, 2025 04:51 AM
Patricia Feager

Kat Palmiotti - there is so much for us to be grateful for and to honor those young lives that never returned. I ask myself, as a nation, are we sufficiently grateful for them all? We have a duty to never take America or our soldiers for granted. 

May 24, 2025 06:43 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Patrica, for sharing some of your observations and special memories for this Memoral Day weekend.

May 24, 2025 05:14 AM
Patricia Feager

Roy Kelley - Memorial Day weekend is a time for mourning. We can never take day one day we live for granted. Our soldiers who worked so hard for us paid the ultimate price. They deserve to be honored, respected, and remembered with compassion. 

May 24, 2025 06:49 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Good morning, Patricia. Such a beautifully written post with amazing photos. It brought tears to my eyes. Unlike many Americans, you have a deep and personal relationship to the Viet Name war and your words brought that era back to me. Love the idea of the photos and bios at the graves... I would hope many people would go by and read them.

May 24, 2025 05:44 AM
Patricia Feager

Nina Hollander, Broker - As I marched from flag post to flag post and walked across the mound to get to the flag poles in the center of the field, I wept and remembered. Under the scorching sun I sweat and faintly imagined the scent of mud and blood that clings to boots. Oh, what those soldiers went through was a grueling reminder of war.  

May 24, 2025 06:55 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker

Patricia Feager people who've never been to war often romanticize it. In reality, war is ugly.

May 24, 2025 11:16 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
Retired Broker/Owner - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Patricia what a moving and heartfelt post - thank you!  I can only imagine how moving it was walking and reading their bios.  Here in PHX on 9/11 there is a place that puts up flags in honor of each person that died that day.  We did walk through the whole display and read each ones name and age as well.  It was incredibly moving. 🇺🇸 

May 24, 2025 11:07 AM
Patricia Feager

Anna "Banana" Kruchten - your comment was deeply appreciated. Remembering those who were killed in battle or in the Towers and learning about who they were is a very moving experience. It tugs at your heart.  For loved ones, the hurt and sorrow may diminish over time but love never dies. 

As we acknowledge the true meaning of Memorial Day, we must never forget their sacrifices. 

May 24, 2025 02:10 PM
Paddy Deighan MBA JD PhD
http://www.medicalandspaconsulting.com - Vail, CO
Paddy Deighan J.D. Ph.D

I wish that more people would remember....as of Saturday afternoon there are very few flags, parades. celebrations..plenty of BBQs and mattress sales😱

May 24, 2025 12:49 PM
Patricia Feager

Paddy Deighan MBA JD PhD - Rest assured in other states, cities, and communities there are many flags. I'm so sorry to learn you're seeing fewer flags, parades, and memorial services. For me, I take it personally because it is heartbreaking. 

I'm with you! "I wish that more people would remember." 

May 24, 2025 02:21 PM
Patricia Feager
Flower Mound, TX
Inactive/Semi Retired Real Estate Agent

Thank you ActiveRain for the FEATURE. Your goodness is never taken for granted. 

May 24, 2025 02:30 PM
Fred Griffin Florida Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

 Hi Patricia Feager 

    When I was in high school, I remember some mornings when the Principal would come over the loudspeakers in the classrooms at 8:00AM.   "Students, we are going to have a minute of silence to remember [John Doe] who graduated last year; he was killed in action in Vietnam this week.  Let's all bow our heads, please."   Some of the students and occasionally a teacher would get tears in their eyes.

  I joined the U.S. Air Force after I graduated high school.  It was just a few weeks after the Fall of Saigon (50 years ago).  So many of the men that I met in the U.S. Air Force had seen Active Duty in Vietnam.  Oh, the stories I heard.

   In the years after I got out of the Service, I met several people who had fled Vietnam because of the War.  "Tom", my tailor/alterations guy, who was a Vietnam refugee. And my dear friend Kim.  Her father had been with the South Vietnam Government, she told me "when I was a girl, my whole family was taken to an airport, a couple of days later we found ourselves in Atlanta.  If we had stayed in Vietnam, my father would have been arrested, my family would have..." and then her voice would trail off.

    My classification by the U.S. Air Force is "Vietnam Era Veteran".  So is my brother, who was in the U.S. Army in that Era.  Neither he nor I went overseas.   We defer to the men (and women) who fought in that country, some who lost limbs, others who gave their lives. 

    I hate the politics and the Politicians that got us into Vietnam and kept us in Vietnam.   But the boys - the Sailors, Soldiers, Marines, and Airmen - who died there were fighting for what they believed to be right.  They can truly rest in peace. 

May 24, 2025 06:01 PM
Patricia Feager

Fred Griffin Florida Real Estate - thank you for such an honest reply.

Fred, your opening paragraph sent goosebumps down my spine. I went to an all-girl Catholic High School. Although we prayed for peace and an end to war. I don’t know about you, but I was singing religiously, Give peace a chance, and Onward Christian Soldiers Marching Out to War. I can’t imagine how painful it must have been to be a student, about the same age as “[John Doe] who graduated last year; he was killed in Vietnam this week.” Those words must have shaken you and your classmates to the core. As a female, I never had to worry about being drafted. Nor did the thought of volunteering, if I was the opposite sex ever enter my mind. Maybe that’s why I did the next best thing I could. I prayed a lot and wrote pen pal aerogram letters.

You were so young to join the U.S. Air Force, so soon after graduation from High School. I’m sure you did not think you were young. After I graduated HS, I was married shortly thereafter. Little did I know at that time how unprepared I was.

It boggles my mind how many baby boomers were thrown into the fire to grow up faster than kids today. I know so many parents today who have adult children living with them, still sleeping in the same bed they had when they were a child. They get a meal at the dinner table, have no duties compared to what you had in the U.S. Air Force, or me as a bride and mother.

By the time there was the Fall of Saigon, I was already a parent. I will never forget the week my first born was about to be delivered in December 1973, when the envelope came in the mail that had his “Honorable Discharge Papers.” I FREAKED out! I had no idea he could have gone back to serve for the 2 years we were married before getting pregnant! Also, I remember that date April 30, 1975, very well!

Thank you for sharing your stories about meeting Tom, your tailor/alterations guy. I’m sure his fingers worked as accurate and precise like a sewing machine needle with no errors. I had a Tailor in Flower Mound (a refugee from Vietnam) who was the very best at what she did too. I never had anyone else like her. Kim has to be a very dear friend of yours too. Hearing what she had to say must have made your eyes water. It must have been hard for you to look her in the eyes and ask questions. Yes. I think many of those refugees were our heroes too.

I understand how you feel about the politicians that kept the war going. Every day when I came home from school and watched the body count scroll across the screen, I wanted to scream and cuss like the Sailor my dad was in WW11. To soldiers who died everywhere and was put in hell, may their souls rest in peace and may those who sent them off to war to keep the war going live in hell.

May 24, 2025 06:59 PM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Thank you Patricia Feager. Lots of veterans in my family and proud of their service. 

May 24, 2025 06:08 PM
Patricia Feager

Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573 - Same here. My Grandpa served in WW1, entering on 9/17/1914. He was still alive until I was in the sixth grade. My dad, WW11, Spouse, Vietnam, Nephew, Iraq and Afghanistan, Nephew, Afghanistan. I also had a second cousin who died in Vietnam in 1968. 

May 24, 2025 07:02 PM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Patricia as I commented on another blog "the Bible tells us there is no greater love than to lay down your life for another.  These brave men and women have demonstrated that love."

May 24, 2025 06:09 PM
Patricia Feager

George Souto - They were too young to die and yet every day they spent in Vietnam was eternity. May they rest in peace. 

May 24, 2025 07:04 PM
Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story past and present.  Vietnam brings so many memories and should be remembered. I remember people looking up their draft number and hoping it was a high number. I ad many friends who went to Vietnam. They did not all come back. Some who did make it back home were never the same. It was a tumultuous time for so many.

I am glad your Jerry came back and you were able to have a good life, beautiful family and good memories.

You had quite a day walking through the fields. It sounds like an amazing day and I admire you for pushing yourself to do that. Loved your photos!

I had to look up aerograms, I had forgotten they existed!  

May 25, 2025 12:55 AM
Patricia Feager
Flower Mound, TX
Inactive/Semi Retired Real Estate Agent

Debra Leisek - Those of us who did not go to Vietnam suffered the impact of what was going on in our country. Just about everyone knew someone who joined or were drafted. War impacted all of us, especially those left behind watching and listening to the war stories. Following up with the civil rights movement and political drama was intense! 

A soldier's experience was very different from ours. Spending my time soul-searching this Memorial Day Weekend has been a time for deep reflections. The weather on Friday and Saturday was incredibly hot. I marched on anyways. Yesterday I donated blood. I think reading their bios and reliving their journey inspired me to donate. It is the least I could do. After I left Carters Blood I went to the cemetery in Flower Mound. The graveyard was filled with flags on graves of soldiers who died young. My heart yearned for all of them. The sun was beating down on me. At one point, I thought I was going to drop down on my knees, but all I could do was pause and keep moving. 

You have been a dear friend to me with a compassionate heart. I hope your weekend has been good for you. Sending you a virtual hug. 

May 25, 2025 02:06 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

So many wonderful people have served our country and deserve to be remembered!  I hope that you will have a nice Memorial Day weekend!

May 25, 2025 06:02 AM
Patricia Feager

Brian England - So many soldiers who died were so young. They never really had a chance to know what a young man who never went to war knew. And the soldier had life experiences none of us would have wished on others. My heart yearns for the dead who died and paid the ultimate price.  

May 25, 2025 06:21 AM
Peter Mohylsky Gulf Front Homes
Property Management International-Destin - Inlet Beach, FL
Call me at 850-517-7098

Thanks for your story, backed up by many great photos,  it is a time to be thankful.. 

May 26, 2025 03:30 AM
Patricia Feager

Thanks for reading, Peter Mohylsky, I appreciate your kind feedback.

There are many ways we can be thankful. I will be attending the Flower Mound Memorial Services soon. 

May 26, 2025 03:51 AM
Buzz Mackintosh
Mackintosh REALTORS - Frederick, MD
“Experience, reliable, leadership”

Thank you for sharing your journey to pay your respects to our fallen heroes. I hope you have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. 

May 26, 2025 05:32 AM
Patricia Feager

Buzz Mackintosh - thank you for stopping by. Yesterday I donated blood and went to the cemetery to pay my respect to the gravestones for veterans with flags. I'm about to go to the Flower Mound Memorial Event. Then plan to read "We Were One," about the Marines who fought in Fallujah.

May 26, 2025 05:41 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I thank God every day for my son returning from two deployments. Even though I knew he had lost friends, men he grieves for, and who he sees as the true heroes. I remember a funeral at Arlington as his Gunny Sergeant was laid to rest and his widow wailing over his coffin, three young children left without a father. I think of those families whose sons did not return, and how that affected them and altered their lives. Thank you for such a touching memory, I could not write anything this Memorial Day as it hurt too much to think of these young men and their families.

May 28, 2025 07:55 AM
Patricia Feager

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 

Respectfully, I understand fully. Grief has no time limit. Being blessed to receive your son back from two deployments is a very personal feeling. I'm glad he came home too.

You are absolutely right, when lives are altered, personal lives are also changed. 

May 28, 2025 09:52 AM