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Beyond the Chair—A Life Full of Strength, Sacrifice and Silent Battles

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Real Estate Agent with Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 228209

Beyond the Chair—A Life Full of Strength, Sacrifice and Silent Battles

I'm loving reading the entries into our June Point Store challenge that I'm hosting with Anna "Banana" Kruchten! What wonderfully creative posts we've all enjoyed.  Our point was for our members to enter The Point Store from the front, back or side doors - or even from the basement or windows!  Since mine is not creative - merely from the heart - I suppose you can say I'm entering this from the kitchen door - you know, the heart of the home! ❤️



If ActiveRain points were real money, I know exactly how I’d spend mine—I’d use every single one to reverse the spinal cord injury that changed my husband’s life forever. Tuesday, June 24, 2025 marks 35 years since the day he dove off a backyard pool diving board and broke his neck. He has so very gracefully spent thirty-five years of navigating life as a C6 quadriplegic.

 

That’s 35 years of missed normalcy—the kind of daily living most people don’t even think twice about. He hasn’t walked, jogged, or used his hands for everyday tasks since that day. No tying his shoes, buttoning his shirt, or turning the pages of a book without assistance. He’s never driven the sports car he used to dream about owning.

 

He’s missed out on taking the grands on long walks or hikes; he’s missed out on changing our grandchildren’s diapers—something he really does want to be able to do to help me when Liam stays with us. He can’t walk into a pool on his own—he has to rely on a mechanical lift. When we travel, it’s a whole process to make sure the airline has accommodations set up, the hotel handicapped room is TRULY handicapped and isn’t just a room with hand bars on the jacuzzi tub to hold onto as you step into it! He has to make sure the hotel bed is low enough for transferring in and out of his chair or that the sink has clearance underneath so he can brush his teeth. The amount of pre-planning and problem-solving for “accessible” travel would make your head spin.

 

And don’t even get me started on handicapped parking. If you’ve ever wondered why some spaces are van-accessible or why that extra room beside the car matters—trust me, we live those reasons every single day. Those spaces with stripes in parking lots are there for a reason! Imagine being handicapped and unable to get into your vehicle to drive because someone parked in the stripped space where your wheelchair ramp goes down, keeping you from entering your vehicle.


Speaking selfishly, there are no long walks on the beach with your loved one, no dancing at weddings - or even your own. There are no picnics in the park that don’t require major planning. Oh, there’s so much more…

 

So yes, I’d spend all of my so-called valueless points in a heartbeat to give him back even one day of full mobility as well as gaining the vision back in his left eye that he lost in 2019. Just one day to experience the ease of living a life that most people enjoy without a second thought. That, to me, would be worth more than all the money (or points) in the world.

 



Thank you, Anna "Banana" Kruchten, for being a wonderful partner-in-crime for this month's challenge! 😘 

© Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | Savvy + Company | SavvyBroker@me.com | Beyond the Chair—A Life Full of Strength, Sacrifice and Silent Battles

Comments(32)

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Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

As I read this, my eyes welled up and my heart felt heavy and sad. Such a "freak" accident that could happen to anyone. A life-changing moment for sure. Yet, God had a plan, and the plan was to bring you and Ray together to fall in love and live the sacrifices and battles that create such strength together.  

Yeah, you can have my points too. If there were something I could do to undo the tragedy of the dive that day, I would do it in a heartbeat 💗

Jun 22, 2025 01:01 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Oh, I would do the same thing, Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist! Each and every one of the issues he has had requiring hospitalization, has been a result of that tragic day. And, I am thankful each and every day that God's plan panned out - I wouldn't have my life any other way - only his!

Jun 22, 2025 04:11 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Oswego, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good afternoon Debe. After entering my fourth entry to the challenge you and Anna are hosting this month I came across your post. If I could reallocate points you could have all mine. Your posts regarding his contributions while in the chair are amazing. With full mobility I can't imagine his contributions. But, it would be incredible to see. 

Jun 22, 2025 01:40 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Oh, that means so much to me, Wayne Martin! I would definitely love it if points could achieve this dream. What an unimaginable happy day that would be!

Jun 22, 2025 04:13 PM
Lew Corcoran
Better Living Real Estate, LLC - East Bridgewater, MA
Expert guidance. Exceptional results.

Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and powerful story, Debe Maxwell, CRS. Your words really put into perspective how much we often take for granted and remind us of the strength behind silent battles. I truly appreciate you opening up and shining a light on such an important issue. Grateful for your honesty and insight. 🙏❤️

Jun 22, 2025 03:10 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Hey, he's my hero, Lew Corcoran! Some days I wonder from where he summons the courage and the strength to conquer another roadblock. We do take so much for granted, don't we?

Jun 22, 2025 04:14 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Debe- I would gladly give you every single point I have and continue to blog to give those points to you and Ray. I've thought about both of you when you travel and when you talked about the boat on the lake, etc.   I thought, "How does she do it?!" And of course, my thoughts always go to Ray. 

We're packing for a short road trip and I have a list a mile long of things I need to do before we go. My list pales in comparison to what you do. 

I have so much admiration for you both. 

Jun 22, 2025 04:28 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Oh, there REALLY needs to be a LOVE button, Kathy Streib! Funny but, each time he's in ICU, I get calls from people, asking what he needs! You mentioned my needs and I always make sure the caregiver is taken care of too - caregivers are so very often forgotten. 

As for those packing lists - O M G!! To make matters worse, I'm schlepping the additional luggage by myself! I have finally decided that I'll pay whatever they want me to pay them for help!! LOL 

It's a challenge but, neither one of us wants to stay home for the rest of our lives!

Jun 22, 2025 06:08 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

My heart goes out to you all.  One decision can change your life forever and Ray is living proof of that.  I can't even imagine the challenges you both face every day.  You are such a powerhouse for Ray. He has the perfect soulmate at his side.  Thank you for sharing this heartfelt post.  

Jun 22, 2025 04:34 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Funny but, I had written mine before I read yours - I just hadn't posted it, Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ. I almost didn't post it because yours really touched me and it is TRULY something that is needed and can literally be put into action. Mine is more of a dream! Thank you so much for your kind words, Jan. I've got the perfect soulmate too! 😘

Jun 22, 2025 06:10 PM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ

Well I'm glad you posted it Debe!  One can only hope to find a soulmate - trust me I've tried.  High five!

Jun 22, 2025 06:24 PM
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC • Short Sale • Probate

I am sending you many warm hugs. Your strength and ulnerability at the same time -are empowering. 

Jun 22, 2025 05:17 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

I adore you, Inna Ivchenko! Thank you so much! 😘

Jun 22, 2025 06:11 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Debe - ah, a very important point to ponder.  Thank you and Anna for co-hosting this month's challenge.  

Jun 23, 2025 02:46 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

It's been a fun month, Michael Jacobs! I'm thrilled you're enjoying it too!

Jun 24, 2025 05:27 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

I would also be willing to donate my points for a cure for Ray.  

Jun 23, 2025 05:15 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Oh, you're so kind, Roy Kelley! That means a LOT!

Jun 24, 2025 05:27 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I honestly believe if it were possible to use points so Ray (and you) could have normalcy, I'm betting every person here would gladly give up their points - you'd have billions of them.

Jun 23, 2025 05:29 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Aww, thanks Kat Palmiotti! That would be an amazing cure, wouldn't it?! I think of how many people that would impact - and not only those in wheelchairs!

Jun 24, 2025 05:28 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Ray is a good man and I pray for him every day, as I do for you as well.  I often wonder if the things that Neuralink are doing will one day be able to help Ray.

Jun 23, 2025 05:52 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Oh, thank you so much, Brian England! I do hope that what they're doing will result in something 'bionic' for those who are paralyzed. How cool would that be?

Jun 24, 2025 05:30 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

What a sweet thought Debe.  You know I believe God puts people in our lives for a purpose and that you and Ray where in the right places for the love you share to bloom.  You are both blessed to be in each other's lives.

Jun 23, 2025 07:04 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Oh, thank you so much, Tammy Lankford,  I'm certainly God put us in one another paths - what a life it's been!

Jun 24, 2025 05:31 AM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

He is so blessed to have you by his side. God knew exactly who to place in his life and him into yours.

Jun 23, 2025 09:19 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Aww, that is so sweet, Dr. Paula McDonald! I know I'm so very blessed to have Ray in my life.

Jun 24, 2025 05:31 AM
Leanne Smith
Dirt Road Real Estate - Golden Valley, AZ
The Grit and Gratitude Agent

The human spirit to persevere during difficult times is a testimony to your post, your spirit and to your husband's spirit.  Thank you for sharing your touching story and congratulations on the feature. 

Jun 23, 2025 10:03 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Thank you so much, Leanne Smith! Life comes at us from all directions and God equips us with what we need to persevere. I'm so thankful He put me where I was to be able to meet Ray and spend my life with such a wonderful person. You know that feeling - 35 years says a LOT!! 

Jun 24, 2025 05:33 AM
Liz and Bill Spear
Transaction Alliance 513.520.5305 www.WarrenCountyOhioRealEstate.com - Mason, OH
Transaction Alliance Cincinnati & Dayton suburbs

Debe, you and Ray have a much more complex life than most of us can truly grasp, and yet Ray and you both maintain a positive attitude and get things done!  I know there's an argument that everything in our lives both bad and good make us who we are today, but we'd not be human if we didn't wish we could change some events, and you using your points this way (and the willingness of so many to give you their points too) would be one of the best uses of points in the history of ActiveRain.

Jun 24, 2025 06:33 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS

Oh, you made me tear-up, Liz and Bill Spear! And if the points weren't enough, I would spend every dime I had for a cure! I mean, why not? When he's cured, he can go back to work, right?!! 

Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. BTW, that photo was taken in the garage of the home we were building, just a few months before you visited us!

Jun 26, 2025 08:56 PM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

I would give all my points to support you in this. To change one person's life in such a dramatic way would be amazing. I have seen videos of people who are deaf getting a hearing aid for the first time that allows them to hear. I know this would be so much bigger than that.

Jun 24, 2025 08:51 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Oh my gosh, I'm such a mush, Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, I always cry when I see those videos! I always say that I can't even begin to imagine - but, I can on a different level. As for the changing one person's life - oh, we'd be sure every single paralyzed person in the world would benefit from this cure! 

Thank you for your kind words, Nick - and for offering up all of your points! 

Jun 26, 2025 08:58 PM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

Debe, Your words really touched me. I can feel how deeply you care, and it’s heartbreaking to think about how much is taken for granted until it’s gone. I wish there was a way to give him that day back too. Just know that your love, support, and willingness to give up everything for him mean more than any points ever could!

Jun 28, 2025 08:45 AM
Eileen Burns 954.483.3912
Trans State Commercial Realty Inc. - Fort Lauderdale, FL
FLorida Real Estate Connector

Debe Maxwell, CRS I just asked chatgpt to do a deep dive research on a cure for spinal cord injury which created a C6 quadriplegic.  18 sources for info.  I then asked for a summary and infographic.  Below is the summary

https://chatgpt.com/canvas/shared/68616e544e7c8191a32e3e073d59ba0c

 

I had no idea what Brian was referring to Neuralink.  I learned the o=founder is Elon Musk.  Palm Beach County now has numerous Life Science industry arrivals to town so I will ask about that next.

Not many can fully comprehend the task of a caretaker. 

Piercing disappointment reaching your destination to find your definition of handicap room and theirs differs dramatically and the consequences.

 Hi Ray - you look marvelous!  Your mindset stays the course😍

 

 

Jun 29, 2025 10:07 AM
Michele Connors
The Overton Group, LLC Pitt & Carteret County - Greenville, NC
Your Eastern North Carolina Realtor

Beautiful sentiment... and loving words.  

Jun 30, 2025 05:07 AM
Abby Stiller
TOP SELLING REALTY - Cape Coral, FL
SW Florida (239) 284-8637

Wow… there truly aren’t enough words to honor the strength behind your story. Thank you my friend for opening your heart and sharing such a powerful journey of love, resilience, and sacrifice. Reading this reminded me how important it is to appreciate the little things we often take for granted. What a beautiful example of unconditional love. 💙Hugs!

Jul 04, 2025 10:25 AM