This is my fourth and final entry to the ActiveRain June Point Store Challenge.
We are all in with the balance of points to make it a crime to publish real estate marketing photos with the toilet seat up.
Real Estate Photography Criminalized
It all began on a peculiar Wednesday morning when Senator Crappy was sipping his third cup of coffee while browsing online real estate listings. His eyes narrowed onto photo after photo of pristine living rooms, glossy kitchens, and manicured lawns. But then it happened—the image that would change the course of history forever. A bathroom. A rogue toilet. Seat up.
“Unacceptable!” Mr. Crappy shouted. “This is an affront to decency and decorum and should be a crime!”
Mr. Crappy’s indignation was not born of mere propriety. It was personal. Years ago, during a particularly heated Thanksgiving debate over cranberry sauce, his Aunt Kathleen mocked him for accidentally leaving the toilet seat up at the family cabin. The humiliation had lingered ever since, festering like a forgotten turkey leg and cranberry sauce in the back of a refrigerator.
And there it was again. A toilet seat—incriminatingly, unapologetically upright—mocking him from a glossy 2D image. Mr. Crappy decided at that moment that he would not rest until every toilet in every real estate listing across this fine nation had its seat firmly down, as the Founding Fathers would have wanted.
The Birth of the Toilet Seat Act
Mr. Crappy contacted Senator Feces and demanded the crappy real estate photos with the toilet seat up be a criminal offense. The senator agreed and drafted a bill: The Toilet Seat Transparency Act of 2025. It was a masterpiece of legislative precision, stipulating that all toilet seats in real estate photographs must be photographed in the "down" position, with violators subject to penalties ranging from hefty fines, public shaming on national television, and in extreme cases, one year in county jail.
The opposition was swift and fierce. The National Association of Real Estate Agents (NAREA) argued that such legislation infringed upon their creative freedoms. “A bathroom is a blank canvas!” declared one enthusiastic real estate agent during a heated town hall meeting. “Sometimes the seat being up adds… drama!” “That’s a load of crap!” cried Mr. Richard Head.
Meanwhile, Senator Feces' allies in the Senate, who initially thought he was joking, began to realize he was unwaveringly serious. “This isn’t about toilets,” the Senator proclaimed during a press conference, adjusting his patriotic tie. “This is about respect. About dignity. About not seeing the gaping maw of porcelain staring back at you while imagining your future home!”
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