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How I Changed From Shy To Confident

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Education & Training with Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals.

“Confidence is not loud. It comes quietly, stitched together by each victory, whether big or small.”   
-Carol Williams 

I've written about some of this before, so I hope I don't bore my regular readers as I write this post for the July Challenge. But, I promise you'll learn something new about me before the end.

As a child, I was so shy that I dreaded saying "here" during roll call in grade school. It sounds ridiculous, but for a painfully shy girl growing up with early personal loss, even that simple word felt like too much attention. 

After our parents died, my aunt and uncle became the guardians of my brother and me. My aunt, a 4-H leader, decided 4-H would be a good program for us to get involved in. It wasn't like I had a choice; she signed me up for the sewing and knitting clubs and expected me to participate. At the time, I was more afraid of her than trying something new, so I just did what she said.

Little did I know that participating in 4-H would change my life.

After that first year, I joined a couple of other clubs, so besides sewing and knitting, I was in a Forestry and Water Safety program: I don’t remember my very first sewing or knitting projects, but I do remember the later, more complex ones. I also remember collecting samples of cones and needles from the forest, identifying them, taking them home to press and dry (which is a whole process in itself), then placing them in a neatly organized project notebook, with descriptions. I even learned the scientific names of the trees I collected from. The only scientific name I  remember now is the name for Douglas Fir (Pseudotsuga menziesii). Here is how to pronounce it phonetically: soo·dow·soo·guh men·zee·see.  Douglas Fir is the state tree of Oregon.

Anyway, my greatest successes were in sewing and knitting. It became clear fairly quickly that I had a natural talent for sewing and knitting, so I began tackling more advanced projects. My projects won numerous County and State Championships in both categories. What a thrill it was to walk into the display room and see my projects with a big ribbon attached to them. 

I think I enjoyed sewing the most because I could see my progress unfold very quickly as I worked on each garment. Water Safety came in as a close second because I was able to become a certified lifeguard. That felt like a superpower at the time.

I didn’t have one big “aha” moment where my shyness disappeared. It was more like layers slowly peeling back, year after year, as I built skills and earned success. I may not use those skills daily now (because it's less expensive to buy clothes than make them), but I still smile thinking of all the Grand Championship ribbons on display at the County and State Fairs. They were more than awards. They were confirmation that I had some special talent.

If you’re raising a shy child, or know of one, here’s what I’ll say: Programs like 4-H aren’t just about keeping them busy with projects. They’re about transformation. Confidence doesn’t always show up in obvious ways. Sometimes confidence grows stitch by stitch. 

This is my first entry into the July Challenge hosted by Patricia Feager and Lew Corcoran

Posted by

Carol Williams

"Information is FREE.
Knowledge, Experience & Integrity Are Priceless."

- Carol Williams

Retired: Real Estate Broker/Owner, Property Manager 
Coaching, goal setting, and marketing consultant

Active: Golf & Travel Blogger
"Golf isn't a sport. It's a lifestyle."
SeniorWomenGolfers.com
TopTeamCarol@gmail.com
 

Whatever You're Doing, Make It Fun!



Comments(16)

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Patricia Feager
Flower Mound, TX
Semi Retired Real Estate Agent

Good Sunday Morning!

Carol Williams - I really enjoyed your entry for the July Challenge. You don't seem shy anymore! I was a very shy too. My humble beginnings weren't great either, but here I am, and here you are, we are in older skin, we have gotten taller (me - not so much), but you are wiser for sure. As children, we don't get to pick our parents or guardians. Previous generations were much different before we were born. 

Participating in the 4-H Club was life changing! I never had that opportunity. The skills you learned and the projects you did were amazing! I wish I could spend a day with you learning to collect things in nature and preserve them like you did!

Thank you for participating. You story is truly an inspiration! 

Jul 06, 2025 04:07 AM
Carol Williams

Hi Patricia Feager 
I'm still naturally shy but I know how to control and break through it. I enjoy meeting and talking to people one-on-one (or two). I don't particularly enjoy attending events where there are a lot of people I don't know. Small talk has never been my thing. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:39 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Sunday morning, Carol.

Thanks for sharing some of your personal experience and advice.

Have a great day!

Jul 06, 2025 04:34 AM
Carol Williams

Thanks for reading my entry, Roy Kelley 
It's been an interesting life. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:40 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Good morning, Carol... I can totally relate... I was also shy as a child even though I always "knew my own mind" and could stand up for what I felt strongly about. I think I started developing confidence in high school and then college as I made a point of participating in numerous organizations. Gradual success in the work world also developed my confidence. Nonetheless, I remain an introvert. Any one who thinks I'm an extrovert doesn't know me.

Jul 06, 2025 04:38 AM
Carol Williams

Same here, Nina Hollander, Broker. I am still naturally shy. I enjoy meeting and talking to people one-on-one (or two), like when I went on my epic road trip. I don't particularly enjoy attending events where there are a lot of people I don't know. Small talk has never been my thing.  I am quite content in my own company for days at a time, if necessary. 

P.S.: I was thinking maybe the forestry part would be new information to you. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:42 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker

Carol Williams in this regard we are sisters from another mother!

Jul 06, 2025 07:52 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Oh my gosh, from one shy girl to another, you go girl! I hope parents of shy children, and shy children themselves read this, and know there is a way to gain confidence!

Jul 06, 2025 04:55 AM
Carol Williams

Hi Kat Palmiotti 
I think every one has special talents, and if we can find them it is life-changing. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:43 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Carol - AR Challenges can combine elements that may repeat previously explored themes.   With each entry patterns may become noticeable.  Maybe immediately, perhaps not so much.  Life.  Lessons.  Learning.  

Jul 06, 2025 05:10 AM
Carol Williams

Hi Michael Jacobs 
I think some of these challenges bring up a common thread but in a different way. It's always interesting. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:43 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Carol I have read some of your blogs about the impact that 4-H had on your life, but each time it is like I am reading it for the first time.  Never boring.

Jul 06, 2025 05:28 AM
Carol Williams

Thank you, George Souto 
I sometimes feel like I'm hashing over the same old stuff, but from a different angle maybe. I'm glad it didn't bore you. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:44 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Oh my gosh, Miss Carol Williams - my first post is in draft.  Same with me in so many ways. It was not 4-H that changed me - that happened much later in my life, in real estate! 

Nothing you write is boring to me! 

Jul 06, 2025 07:03 AM
Carol Williams

Hi Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist 
I'm pleased to hear I didn't bore you. LOL  Like I've mentioned above, it seems like some of these challenges bring out similar experiences... but from a different angle. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:46 AM
Gwen Fowler SC Lakes & Mountains 864-710-4518
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc - Walhalla, SC
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc.

Knowledge makes me comfortable.  I search out new things, places, and people to learn what they know and to make my world somewhat bigger.  I am fearful at first, but before the search is over, I have gained confidence, so I can move forward.  Have a great week; it's only 3 weeks until school starts back. Summer is almost over.

Jul 06, 2025 07:33 AM
Carol Williams

Hi Gwen Fowler SC Lakes & Mountains 864-710-4518 
I think we are similar in our interest in constantly learning. I've become great at asking questions, so even if I know nothing I can have a decent conversation with just about anyone. 

Jul 06, 2025 07:47 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
Southern Utah's Preferred Real Estate Agent.

Good for you! Becoming confident through accomplishments is a fantastic way to evolve, especially when shy, Carol.  I was that person, who would put her head down in class when called to answer a question.

Thankfully, it was something to outgrow when older!

Jul 06, 2025 09:41 AM
Carol Williams

Hi Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! 
Life gives us many opportunities to learn and grow. It's been a good ride.

Jul 08, 2025 07:39 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Hmm, I didn't know that 4-H had sewing and knitting, but I think that is awesome!  My Mom has always loved to sew and knit.

Jul 06, 2025 11:06 AM
Carol Williams

Yes, indeed, Brian England 
It was a big thing when I was young. I don't know how popular it is these days. 

Jul 08, 2025 07:40 AM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello and always like  to see your blogs that you share with us here in the Rain.  Hope you are doing good.

Jul 06, 2025 12:18 PM
Carol Williams

Thanks, Will Hamm 
I appreciate you following along with my blog posts.

Jul 08, 2025 07:41 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good afternoon Carol,

I did learn more about you through your post! Participating in the 4-H Club was life changing for you and for me! I began sewing and designing clothes before I joined 4-H but my mom had me join and I too loved seeing the blue ribbon outfits I made! These successes all help build confidence even if you weren't a shy child.

Jul 06, 2025 12:23 PM
Carol Williams

Hi Dorie Dillard Austin TX 
I never got into designing clothes but I did make a lot of clothes. It's a good skill to have.

Jul 08, 2025 07:42 AM
Lew Corcoran
Better Living Real Estate, LLC - East Bridgewater, MA
Expert guidance. Exceptional results.

Thank you, Carol Williams, for sharing such an inspiring and heartfelt story. Your words beautifully illustrate how confidence is built gradually through small victories and perseverance. It's truly a testament to the power of patience and resilience. I appreciate your openness and the reminder that even quiet, steady progress can lead to remarkable transformation.

Jul 06, 2025 02:40 PM
Carol Williams

Hi Lew Corcoran 
Thank you for reading about my journey out of shyness. Truth be known, I'm still naturally shy but I know how to deal with it. 😊

Jul 08, 2025 07:46 AM
Joe Mojica
Laer Realty Partners Bowen - Port St Lucie, FL
Your Home Adds Value to You

Carol - I can totally relate to your childhood experience. Thanks for sharing your story. You always come across very confident in your writing.  

Jul 07, 2025 04:31 AM
Carol Williams

Thank you, Joe Mojica 
I'm comfortable with who I am, faults and all, so I guess that comes across as confident. Deep down is still that shy little girl. 😊

Jul 08, 2025 07:47 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
Retired Broker/Owner - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Carol I did know this about you and that you came out on the other side because of your 4H experience.  4H is such a great program to teach kids not only skills, but leadership etc etc.  Did you know I once was a County Extension Agent with about 50 4H clubs and over 100 volunteers by the time I left?  I smile every time I think of those kids learning and growing so much together........loved it and them!

Jul 07, 2025 04:37 PM
Carol Williams

Hi Anna "Banana" Kruchten 
I did know you were an Extension Agent... in Colorado as I recall. 4-H is an amazing program.

Jul 08, 2025 07:49 AM
Eileen Burns 954.483.3912
Trans State Commercial Realty Inc. - Fort Lauderdale, FL
FLorida Real Estate Connector

Carol Williams where I grew up we did not have access to those programs.  Stick ball on the 4 corners, roller skating on the asphalt, church activities like the band, girl scouts are my memories.   Having experience trauma at a young age myself, I can understand the pain you experienced and happy to hear how astute your aunt was to help you overcome and blossom

Jul 11, 2025 10:10 AM