“I’ve lived many lives, and each one taught me something new about life, love, loss, resilience, and joy. Change didn’t break me; it reframed me.” -Carol Williams
Change is constant. If there’s one thing life has taught me, it’s that we don’t get to stay in one place for too long, at least not emotionally. Looking back, I realize I’ve lived many distinct “lives,” each with its own rhythm, lessons, and surprises. I've written about much of it over the years, but this post is my third entry into the July Challenge hosted by Patricia Feager and Lew Corcoran
Life One: A Child with My Parents
I lost my mother when I was just seven, so I don’t have many memories of her. I regret this very much. I remember my dad well. He was my anchor for five more years. Losing him at such a young age taught me something most children don’t learn until much later: life offers no guarantees. Say “I love you” often, and mean it.
Life Two: Orphaned and Relocated
My brother and I went from a city neighborhood where we rode our bikes everywhere... whether it be the school or the city pool, to a rural home with narrow roads and no sidewalks. It was a complete cultural shock. It wasn't safe to ride our bicycles out there. The biggest blessing? My brother and I stayed together. The biggest challenge? Everything else. I grew up quickly, learning to adjust, accept, and appreciate what I had.
Life Three: Single, Working, and Finding My Way
I didn’t set out with a grand career plan. I just needed a job. I started as a secretary at a fruit warehouse, got my real estate license, and did that part-time. I learned that part-time real estate isn't a good way to go.
Life Four: Marriage and (Step-Motherhood)
Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for stepping into a marriage with my husband, and dealing with his ex-wife and 5 step-children. As a stepmother, I learned to pick my battles. As a wife, I discovered the beauty of unconditional love and traveling the world.
Life Five: Widowhood and Transformation
After my husband’s passing, the hardest part wasn’t managing life alone. I’d been managing everything in our lives for several years as his illness progressed. The hard part was the silence. The stillness. The absence. I traveled constantly just to keep the loneliness at bay. Over time, though, I found new sources of joy... back to golf, writing, road trips, and new friendships. I wasn't getting back to my old self. I was transforming into a new me.
Grief softened into gratitude. I still miss my husband, but now the things that made me sad after his passing have transformed into happy memories.
Life keeps moving, whether I want it to or not. I have evolved and will continue to do so. I’ve stopped resisting change and have embraced it. Each “life” has shaped the person I am today.
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