This is a haunting & deep at times question that when you are ready to ask or answer it, will cause change sometimes uncomfortable feelings but all for the good. Look at the precision of the words & the perfect question formed like an arrow shot out of a bow toward a target with intention to bullseye but why? Let's explore love & use simultaneously
THE WORD USE
Use has meanings that can be interpreted in different ways. Using is a necessary part of our daily lives as we visit with all things that we gathered for our personal use & gain. That use is of no consequence. It's when the use is about people
USING PEOPLE
Man, woman, companies, groups or government all practice mutual use on each other. It can be a quid pro quo (something for something), a price to have a desired outcome, item or event but if one-sided, takes an ominous meaning bordering on bad or harmful to some degree or another.
DEGREES OF USE
In man-woman relationships, we see trade-offs & pay-offs take place some agreed to & others not agreed to. If agreed, we accept the common usage as long as we gain & are not injured. The benefit determines the longevity of the using of selves
REMEMBER THE POST TITLE?
Its subtle but will be cleared up right now. The question is/was one of can you LOVE someone & use them at the same time? Don't be quick to answer but instead pause for cause here. We are talking about human beings as follows
HUMAN COMPLEXITY
I love you & you love me but how, why, when & what for?
You are not your thoughts, feelings, opinions, what others say, your senses & what you tell yourself. Who we are is more complex. Our make-up consists of mental, emotional, spiritual, physical & psychological dynamics. Now add to it the first sentence & you can see the complexity. Even more complex? We are all different. More different than what? We are in different places at different times. The using of a person, while allowed comes under criticism when children, pets, men & women are involved. At first glance, using is seen as mistreating or selfish use allowed or not making one pause & judge. Add love to it! Loving while abusing?
SUBJECTIVITY
There are thin borders between mutual use, one sided use, abuse, selfishness & the forces that drive it all. Leaving out the; we can do whatever we want or agree to, your conscience has a say so as well as what is right, pure & complimentary. You decide this as you will have to live with your decisions. REMEMBER: love & use?
NOTE THIS
Someone you love may allow you to use them but not liking it as you do. Then there is the person who is intimidated by you who doesn't speak-up & allows usage. One wonders if the moving party sees this, cares or is indifferent to it
NON-HUMAN APPLICATIONS
Don't we love the wilderness, camping out, nature, wildlife, oceans, lakes, forests, & all the rest & don't we help ourselves to it when we want or can? The how to "use" is important here. Take for instance the rule of die-hard camping out folk. You must leave the campsite as you found it as will the next user i.e. pristine with no sign of you having been there. In other words: First time for all who visit, always
INTERPERSONAL APPLICATION
This is the coming together with people & whatever takes place. The using of any other person, as we do, comes with a response or reaction thus we go into groups with courtesy, manners & sensitivity unless of course we don't. Consider personal
ONE on ONES
Exploring a potential friend, speaking with a family member, wanting to advance or get ahead, marriages, commitments & the like, what may start out as permissible may end up being revoked. Why remains to be seen & is subjective
YOUR SPOUSE
Here is where the title of the post may hit home for the many. We tend to believe that marriage entitles us to do to another for whatever reason, whatever we want. As we grow older or tired, we may want to be appreciated for appreciation's sake & not have to earn it so to speak. Flowers, candy & goodies given in return for opportunity may need to change over into NO motives or gain, but instead, a pure love & appreciation for the sake of what is right regarding love, care, appreciation & nothing else, simply put; a love of love for love's sake.
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