Have you heard of the “Let them” theory?
As the holidays approach, many are filled with stress over family conflicts.
The holiday gatherings are times when old rivalries, resentments, and insecurities seem to come bubbling up – right alongside of the new ones.
- Perhaps Aunt Sally always criticizes what you’re wearing – or maybe she criticizes the pies you contributed to the feast.
- Uncle George will have a few too many cocktails and start telling embarrassing stories about things you did as a child.
- Your sister who “married money” will begin bragging about a new vacation home or an upcoming cruise.
- Cousin Jim will bring up politics – and your group is divided on that subject.
- Your mother will chide you for not insisting that your young child eat the sweet potatoes.
If you’re playing host or hostess, it’s even worse.
You’re probably anxious about
how your house looks, whether your dinnerware and serving dishes will make the grade, and even if you’ve got the correct hand towels for the powder room. And of course you’re worried about the menu and about cooking everything to perfection.
After all, you know that at least some of your guests will delight in judging you.
And if one of your children chooses to spend the holidays elsewhere, does that mean they don’t care about you? (Answer: No, it doesn’t. So don’t try to make them feel guilty.)
All of these worries are enough to make you dread holidays instead of anticipating them with joy.
Today’s Hay House email presented the perfect solution: Let Them
Whatever you think other people might say or do to disrupt your holiday, let them. Just mentally say “OK,” go right ahead. They’re going to do it anyway, so you might as well go about enjoying yourself.
- If it makes Aunt Sally feel important to criticize you, let her.
- If Uncle George tells stupid stories, let him.
- If your sister brags, let her.
- If your adult child wants to skip the family dinner this year, let them.
- If cousin Jim wants to talk politics, let him.
- If your Mother objects to what your children are allowed to eat at holiday meals, let her.
Other people aren’t the problem.
As it turns out, the problem isn’t what other people do or say. Our stress comes from how we react to what other people do and say. And we can control that, simply by adopting a new attitude of “Let them.”
Just let their comments run off your back like water off a duck.
These gatherings shouldn’t be a competition, but if they feel that way to you, keep in mind that when you refuse to let people upset you, you win!
Happy Holidays!
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