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Connections Build Relationships

By
Real Estate Agent with Innovative Realty Solutions Group BK3158345

No matter what business you are in, building connections matter.

I like my 5x5 rule. Make 5 touches 5 days a week to build relationships. Your touches should vary. Texts, emails, phone calls, coffee or wine are just a few ways to connect with people. 

Topics are endless. Hobbies, birthdays, anniversaries matter to people. When building your database, keep track of these things. Your phone calendar can be valuable to add events on a one time or annual basis. Set reminders for yourself. 

Don't just connect with business information. Balance is the key.

For example, I am an avid fan of figure skating and I keep track of my friends that share this hobby. I send them articles, competition information, tv schedules and updates regularly.  You can do the same thing for their hobbies even if you're not a big fan yourself. 

If someone mentions a family event coming up, put it on your calendar to wish them well or a good time. If they are taking a fabulous trip, you can easily share a tidbit about their trip a few days before and follow up after with an invite for coffee to hear all about it. Or comment on their travel photos online.

On the business side, remind buyers to homestead early in the following year. Do a market analysis of their real estate purchase or area annually. 

I like texts, emails and social media but I love cards and notes in the mail. You can write your monthly cards during commercials while watching TV! Do a personalize email about events of interest or annual weather hints. I live in Florida, the annual hurricane preparation information is welcomed. Gardening and outdoor clean up tips for spring! You get the idea. The topics are endless.

The keys is consistency of connections and topics of interest to the individual. Instead of spending money on leads, spend it on building relationships! Don't forget to ask for referrals on occasion! 

Here is a blog that Roy Kelley wrote. He has tons of suggestions about this topic. Check out his other blogs, too!  

 

Comments(14)

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Gwen Fowler SC Lakes & Mountains 864-710-4518
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc - Walhalla, SC
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc.

Dee, this is a great reminder that relationships are built intentionally, not accidentally.

Your 5 by 5 rule is simple, practical, and repeatable. Five meaningful touches a day add up quickly over a year. Most agents underestimate how powerful steady, personal contact can be.

I especially like your point about tracking hobbies, trips, and life events. That moves the connection beyond transactions and into a genuine relationship. When people feel remembered, they feel valued.

Your comment about investing in relationships instead of buying leads also resonates. Referrals grow from trust, and trust grows from consistency.

Well said.

Mar 03, 2026 03:50 AM
Patricia Feager
Referral Specialist - DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Licensed to April 2027

Dee Toohey - I like your 5x5 rule. It may seem hard at first, but practice with disciple soon becomes habit forming and easier. Making strong connections, like the way you're using the 5x5 rule for your figure skating fans is a great idea!

Mar 03, 2026 03:59 AM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

Dee Toohey we just had an office meeting yesterday where we were talking about this specifically. Great post to remind us of the many ways to stay in touch.

Mar 03, 2026 03:59 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Dee Toohey ,

So many of us have good intentions but your 5X5 rule is one everyone should take to heart and get busy following it! The key is consistency of those connections and remembering to include topics of interest to the individual. Building relationships develops trust and consistency is the key!

Mar 03, 2026 04:26 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Tuesday morning, Dee. Have a great day and a productive week.

Mar 03, 2026 04:52 AM
Dee Toohey

Your post inspired this and I linked to it to share your great words of wisdom.

Mar 03, 2026 07:06 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

This is good advice, and I like the system that you have in place. I am sure that it leads to success for your business!  I can't help but wonder, though, why you have never really tried to connect with me in the Rain?  I have read and commented on your posts in the past, trying to establish some interaction that could lead to a connection, and possibly a referral relationship, but it doesn't seem that you are interested in that since I never get an indication that you read my posts or comment on them, haha.

Mar 03, 2026 06:17 AM
Dee Toohey

I don't recall your name but that doesn't mean I have not seen it. I will follow you and pay closer attention to your posts.

Mar 03, 2026 07:08 AM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Love this post!  There are so many ways to stay connected to clients and a lot of them are just being friendly, sharing articles and remembering birthdays.  It doesn't have to be difficult, but it does have to be consistent.  

Mar 04, 2026 01:33 PM
Dee Toohey

Exactly!! You get it, Jan!

 

Mar 04, 2026 01:45 PM
AZ / FL Mortgage Broker: Michael George
Mortgage Broker - Phoenix, AZ
Providing low rates on purchase & refinance loans.

I like the simplicity of the 5x5 rule. It’s a solid reminder that relationship building doesn’t have to be complicated...but consistent. The idea of tracking personal interests is a tip that people forget- even though Dale Carnegie wrote about it--- I don't even know- 60 years ago? Great post and a great reminder!

Mar 05, 2026 02:04 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Dee - good advice!

Mar 05, 2026 06:59 AM
Candy Stevens, EA
Number Cruncher LLC - Overton, NV
Helping Clients Resolve IRS Problems

I never thought of filling out cards during commercials.  Thank you for the tip. 

Mar 05, 2026 09:11 AM
Paddy Deighan MBA JD PhD
http://www.medicalandspaconsulting.com - Vail, CO
Paddy Deighan J.D. Ph.D

five by five is effective and easy to implement and maintain!!

Mar 05, 2026 07:09 PM
Kelly McGovern
Realty Concierge International - Bellingham, MA
Working with Kelly is a good move

I love this blog and completely agree with the various ways to communicate. I often write note cards to people to celebrate occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and home anniversaries. I also send notes for events I notice on Facebook, whether it's recognizing the loss of a loved one or pet, or congratulating someone on earning a certification in their professional field. Every gesture matters, and it's always comforting to know that someone is supporting you and paying attention.

Mar 06, 2026 07:04 AM
John Marshall - FORE!
LoKation Real Estate - Cherry Hills Village, CO
Specializing in Golf Course Properties

Dee Toohey I love this and will be sharing with my agents, so many want to buy leads and I keep telling them its all about building relationships!

Mar 09, 2026 03:44 PM
Dee Toohey

Exactly. Zillow and others are not your friend. Spent time, effort and money building relationships. That's what pays off in any kind of sales. Real Estate is unique because it takes building trust and that takes times. People don't buy a home every month. It's not a $20 item. Patience pays off. Invest in yourself as a person and share knowledge and yourself to build that trust. Good luck! 

If you every want me to zoom with your folks, let me know. 

I am an instructor and have tons of ideas. I willingly share.

 

Mar 10, 2026 06:58 AM
John Marshall - FORE!

Dee Toohey I might take you up on that

Mar 10, 2026 08:37 AM
AZ / FL Mortgage Broker: Michael George
Mortgage Broker - Phoenix, AZ
Providing low rates on purchase & refinance loans.

Basically, you are saying "Be Thoughtful"-- and I really can't think of better advice when it comes to sales. Thoughtfulness is an important quality, and if you are a thoughtful person, you are probably doing these things already. Can you really teach this? :) 

Mar 10, 2026 10:58 AM
Dee Toohey

You can make suggestions for others. You can't make them perform. It's the old saying, "you can lead a horse to water, you can't make him drink".

Real Estate Professionals often need to get out of their own way. 

Mar 11, 2026 01:06 PM