Do you ever do something that's so ironic and against your own self-interest, that when you finally snap out of it-- you can't believe you did whatever stupid thing you did...for such a long time? It could be heavy drinking, or gambling, or
staying in a bad relationship.
In my family law business, over the past 12 years, I have spoken to so many people who say "this person has been treating me like crap for five years, and I am finally getting away." Sometimes it's even longer and includes physical abuse. I've heard "married for 20, and they've been physically abusing me for the past 8 of those years."
I think "eight years", was the longest I remember someone telling me that they stayed in a marriage with physical abuse.
And I would take these calls and think to myself, "you poor S.O.B.; what a waste of time". You know, somewhat self-important, because I wouldn't do anything so silly. Not me! 😮
Meanwhile, I feel like the divorce business was literally killing me. Maybe not actively killing me, but it was taking away my hit points. I don't think you can live a long, happy life in the divorce business. For the most part, all of your clients hate you.
Helping People With Tragedy
Think of young, first-time homebuyers. They are excited and happy and, hopefully, in love. Well that same couple, when getting a divorce, are the polar opposite in every way. They aren't in love; they aren't happy; and I'm not delivering their dreams- I'm giving them the papers to disassemble the whole thing.
So even though I would shake my head at my clients who stayed married, I stayed in the divorce business for about 12 years and the past 11 years of that was pure hell. My partner and I have never gotten along. I'm not going to go into that- two sides to every story- but let's just say it's a conflict of personality types.
So Much Relief, All At Once
It's pretty terrifying walking away from something that you put the last 12 - 13
years of your life into, but it turns out I feel great. All of those negative feelings feel like they were removed with surgery. Cut-out and gone!
I've always thought it was somehow offensive when bakeries would sell Divorce Cakes. But now I get it. I don't know how to end this post, other than to say that I am going to try to take note of things in my life that make me unhappy. If it took me so long to notice my misery in the divorce biz- what else am I doing to self-sabotage?
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